tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3775363876657702222024-03-09T21:48:21.350-05:00Life and Love. Multiplied.From newlyweds to insta-family parents of identical twinsMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.comBlogger169125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-35106509175443194942018-08-24T23:06:00.000-04:002018-08-24T23:22:45.976-04:00A Halloween 4th Birthday Party (in July)!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibSmEid7kXPmYd6nelX1dKpNWi2o_l3Oh3TNA9I2xdFTE3CmDX5eKfnyxU1-di9-lpr64VsHy4MM8EXOj-XXSsopFByE9dMXbrE5zhZIQlDvkBpQNpQzHRwg9w8pMtoMVALjDQoO-sLBQ/s1600/IMG_20180728_135726+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1259" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibSmEid7kXPmYd6nelX1dKpNWi2o_l3Oh3TNA9I2xdFTE3CmDX5eKfnyxU1-di9-lpr64VsHy4MM8EXOj-XXSsopFByE9dMXbrE5zhZIQlDvkBpQNpQzHRwg9w8pMtoMVALjDQoO-sLBQ/s320/IMG_20180728_135726+%25282%2529.jpg" width="250" /></a>Although I can't believe it, our baby girls turned four years old in July! Four is a big deal, they are such amazing little people now, maturing and changing so much every day. They're always talking and coming up with the craziest plans and stories, often about all things spooky (I might have a strong influence on this), especially Halloween. So it wasn't really a surprise when they excitedly told me they wanted to have a Halloween 4th Birthday party.<br />
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Admittedly, I initially tried to sway them into something more practical, less labor intensive for me, like a day at the Town beach with close family and friends or a backyard BBQ as we've always done, but they were adamant about needing a Halloween party (despite having never seen nor attended one in their short lives). So, the planning began and in the end, I have to say I'm pretty proud of how it all came together. Not to mention that the girls were over the moon with excitement and joy to share one of their favorite celebrations with all their family and friends on their special day.<br />
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You might think it would be difficult to pull off a Halloween party in July but thanks to Amazon, Spirit Halloween Store and Party City, as well as my own fairly well-stocked supply of Halloween decorations, it was a piece of cake. I still think one of the best parts of this party that I will be able to reuse almost every bit of decor for as long as it lasts - and our house will be decked out for Halloween! I don't have a ton of decor pics but we basically just used lots of regular old decorations, some special purchases from Etsy and my amazing sister truly worked some magic with her streamer skills!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbsVtbJWibsmXFCliegiSaHyS3-nHYpbShqDixu_g0Q4WWgempdvQ-F-4HvqbaRzfx-73OM6nheMDrexCDWzOzUshNayB26XxzAHXRcarLgYEdiHANnhJ9nhawR0_SxXPYmxiDXOfyaFk/s1600/20180728_134700+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1483" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbsVtbJWibsmXFCliegiSaHyS3-nHYpbShqDixu_g0Q4WWgempdvQ-F-4HvqbaRzfx-73OM6nheMDrexCDWzOzUshNayB26XxzAHXRcarLgYEdiHANnhJ9nhawR0_SxXPYmxiDXOfyaFk/s320/20180728_134700+%25282%2529.jpg" width="296" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDcrhyphenhypheniXEvWByk91J7RKi_4NCq8Ri02GG5d6VijhCRP_oEjR9zHfujBow3EoNbcfxcZCyoXbQNMpegVqTSnNaPAtGron8kmLjqZjufDTfIBp0cxCg9R8yz3bluT1BDvGq_tUratoAWUIA/s1600/IMG_6282+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1198" data-original-width="1600" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDcrhyphenhypheniXEvWByk91J7RKi_4NCq8Ri02GG5d6VijhCRP_oEjR9zHfujBow3EoNbcfxcZCyoXbQNMpegVqTSnNaPAtGron8kmLjqZjufDTfIBp0cxCg9R8yz3bluT1BDvGq_tUratoAWUIA/s320/IMG_6282+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipNdllAzILvfhpeZ0ebdn_6Vnh_t_lPtgNw2buomlL7rwfc1fodzeqY2HqPBW0KBP8i4u7SodIuwJDZjGNXXHo132q5MGxhdtwO8dL0EOj1twSOFCsjFjEsvBqJN_nIax55574MHGw9oo/s1600/20180728_141529+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="740" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipNdllAzILvfhpeZ0ebdn_6Vnh_t_lPtgNw2buomlL7rwfc1fodzeqY2HqPBW0KBP8i4u7SodIuwJDZjGNXXHo132q5MGxhdtwO8dL0EOj1twSOFCsjFjEsvBqJN_nIax55574MHGw9oo/s320/20180728_141529+%25282%2529.jpg" width="148" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6j59mXCuuTpdkNj_evamXn0ye2WZoyzYpBwldXqO2E8CvdwcKtSe5VHrt_cCuhZcRQ_lEKG_kQzxn9ZbOIDy8q9dgi5ci0cIleoVr-mKb9xcx24_cF1RmQQlbtHprzmZVavm8Z71H27E/s1600/IMG_6278+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1395" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6j59mXCuuTpdkNj_evamXn0ye2WZoyzYpBwldXqO2E8CvdwcKtSe5VHrt_cCuhZcRQ_lEKG_kQzxn9ZbOIDy8q9dgi5ci0cIleoVr-mKb9xcx24_cF1RmQQlbtHprzmZVavm8Z71H27E/s320/IMG_6278+%25282%2529.jpg" width="276" /></a>I tried to keep the food simple, though Pinterest was mightily tempting me to do<b><i> all </i></b>the Halloween themed things. I put together Jack O'lantern fruit and veggie trays, took way too much time cutting out cheese and lunch meat with adorable Halloween cookie cutters. I was happy to do it, but by far the most popular items were the pizza we ordered and the Pirate's Booty so next time I'll just buy 10 bags of that. </div>
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We kept dessert simple with banana ghost pops, basic cakes, and cupcakes stuck with some Halloween toothpicks. As much as I wanted to have one of those cool witch cakes or something that looked too good to eat, this was perfect and super budget friendly. The kids also took some Halloween candy home in their goodie bags, which also included some play-dough and some fantastic Halloween goodie bag swag. </div>
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The kids (and some adults) wore the cutest costumes including Elastigairl, a princess, a unicorn, batboy and a football player. Even the adults got involved; GG dressed as a bumblebee, Aunt Kate in her football jersey, their great aunt Lisa as a cat and Debz as Batgirl and their Jama, in the most clever and comfortable costume of all, her work scrubs! I dressed as the only costume I've worn since college - a witch (so did the girls and my cousin, because we are all kindred souls). <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQJH6E5eoSxYwv7IHZpDxFk8Q0qTKseTFB_GF8pwkEwXAJ6jbCNewifpTtZY20bO7MB-5c5_jwoyGkYtQIIaYPk5sbu3jCNWdkxUbeIo88EOr7WpowHL2z6L68vbFGMwAk1MtK7jK6cIY/s1600/IMG_20180728_140720+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1215" data-original-width="1600" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQJH6E5eoSxYwv7IHZpDxFk8Q0qTKseTFB_GF8pwkEwXAJ6jbCNewifpTtZY20bO7MB-5c5_jwoyGkYtQIIaYPk5sbu3jCNWdkxUbeIo88EOr7WpowHL2z6L68vbFGMwAk1MtK7jK6cIY/s320/IMG_20180728_140720+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAdrkhyK_AAH6a9J09PfeU0ebL2WKL6dmpph92gIZOnhpzdq3ersO04AUQ2y8UK44Y8bpF9xbNdoRjPRVf2utCA68lUHpkGGH9BK4b2Bil5sld-SkuwvcHqBf0FxKsH_-SEP7FRC7wroY/s1600/IMG_20180728_140118+%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1495" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAdrkhyK_AAH6a9J09PfeU0ebL2WKL6dmpph92gIZOnhpzdq3ersO04AUQ2y8UK44Y8bpF9xbNdoRjPRVf2utCA68lUHpkGGH9BK4b2Bil5sld-SkuwvcHqBf0FxKsH_-SEP7FRC7wroY/s320/IMG_20180728_140118+%25283%2529.jpg" width="298" /></a>I set up a few activities to keep the kids entertained, although if I ever do this again I'll just set up 20 helium balloons and space for them to run! The big girls loved the coloring books and make your own jack o'lantern stickers though. </div>
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I also set up a little dress-up area full of masks, capes, wings and various costume parts. It was a big hit, even the adults were trying on bits and pieces throughout the party. </div>
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We also played our first party game of Pin the Smile on the Skeleton. I forgot where I put the prize though so everyone just got a piece of candy with the winner getting two!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1YojEe0mP8tA4N2jImF3MLIyVL996OF0a5vEjaAscAlsJhuABh2WLxxt_unR3QBz92E3VdXzQhR8kjR8e6qOPvWh4nEZsDo92AbdJzDKwovA_5Dc5EI5hICxrbmiY6UqNOSCtIuyD0mc/s1600/IMG_20180728_160458+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1292" data-original-width="1600" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1YojEe0mP8tA4N2jImF3MLIyVL996OF0a5vEjaAscAlsJhuABh2WLxxt_unR3QBz92E3VdXzQhR8kjR8e6qOPvWh4nEZsDo92AbdJzDKwovA_5Dc5EI5hICxrbmiY6UqNOSCtIuyD0mc/s320/IMG_20180728_160458+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5E0D6WuoEZqFeIsRAGTMhb4VCi3Ob7fxYfvuXqQo3y6TvSVmRJmLj2zqmVWt0z_vK4FHIXw7TFngaFnRaxlyyaj9yEsmrpkaCmk6l7cQX1JdV8fK4KoaLpV13sCXxFMPMU7Vo6Ye2eL0/s1600/IMG_20180728_135148+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1485" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5E0D6WuoEZqFeIsRAGTMhb4VCi3Ob7fxYfvuXqQo3y6TvSVmRJmLj2zqmVWt0z_vK4FHIXw7TFngaFnRaxlyyaj9yEsmrpkaCmk6l7cQX1JdV8fK4KoaLpV13sCXxFMPMU7Vo6Ye2eL0/s320/IMG_20180728_135148+%25282%2529.jpg" width="296" /></a><br />
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I don't have a ton of photos as I always get caught up and forget to take enough I hoped others would capture some more but realized that it was just for show anyway. The photos don't really matter, because I have the memories of my girls' huge grins, their excitement at the transformation of our living room and all the fun we had - and the fact that we're still talking about it a month later!<br />
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Xo,<br />
Maigen<br />
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Maigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-18391267478984359342017-08-02T09:20:00.000-04:002017-08-02T09:44:46.921-04:00Book Review: Multiples Illuminated - Life with Twins and Triplets, the Toddler to Tween Years<span style="font-size: x-small;">(this post contains affiliate links)</span><br />
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One of the first things I did when finding out I was having twins (who are now THREE by the way), was start stressing. It was not so great for the babies, but how could I not when my life had been so dramatically changed in just a few moments with the upward swipe of an ultrasound wand?<br />
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I worried about my ability to care for two human beings and whether or not I would mess them up more than I would have a singleton. I thought constantly about the future and how we would clothe and feed them, how I would handle the inevitable sibling rivalry and whether or not CJ and I would survive this as a couple. And then there was the added worry and guilt over ensuring that each one felt completely loved and supported 100% of the time – but knowing that would be nearly impossible.<br />
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There were times along this three year journey where I felt totally alone. All the moms I know are amazing, but none have twins and I often wondered if I was the only one with such intense fears or who really struggled to get back on their feet after a crazy pregnancy, NICU time and breastfeeding issues. I am thankful for social media and twin mom groups, usually my go-to for advice, but most recently, I had the opportunity to read a fantastic collection of stories written by other parents of multiples and it was quite the eye-opening and reassuring experience.<br />
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<a href="http://amzn.to/2uYOkCZ" rel="nofollow" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt=" Multiples Illuminated" border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="323" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn8ecCYY33w3xtwCQT_w41kC9C1BQ1FiFcerlt7Kn4Bx0_pJop9Yql0amuX0ly0timj31J53OQnjRGcDCXdyLq8NnxIP2TEFgtOu7YGvQL-l1gToubR9jfeFzkUSPiGzeZHHSzERAyk9k/s400/multiplesilluminated.jpg" width="257" /></a><a href="http://amzn.to/2uVAeDY" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Multiples Illuminated: Life with Twins and Triplets, the Toddler to Tween Years</a>, the second book in a series, is edited by fellow moms of multiples, Megan Woolsey, a mom of four including 9 year old triplets, and Alison Lee, a mom of four including 3 year old twins.<br />
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This compilation of 21 colorful anecdotes, honest admissions and helpful tips for multiples aged two to twelve, is a must-read for any multiples parent or parent to be. Each story is the perfect mix of raw, relatable and reassuring. Even the most anxious parents of multiples will feel a sense of relief in knowing that at least one other person out there understands.<br />
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At times hilarious and silly, Multiples Illuminated is also poignant and heart-warming, getting to the real deal of this twin stuff, such as the stress it can have on your marriage or partnership, navigating the delicate dynamics of inclusion and individualism as well as the daunting challenge of toilet training two at once. Also delving into such topics as having one twin with special needs or health issues, single parenting multiples and how to handle a world that consistently views twins as one person with two bodies, there is something for every parent of multiples to connect with and appreciate.<br />
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This glimpse into our futures made me laugh out loud: “You pick them up and balance one on each hip. You are super strong, and you have no idea that in 10 years your hips will ache and you will go to physical therapy and no one will be able to figure out why.”<br />
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The most significant underlying theme in <a href="http://amzn.to/2uVAeDY" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Multiples Illuminated</a> is the varying degrees but overall consistency of the twin mom guilt I alluded to before. Since day one it has gnawed at me, as I held my teeny-tiny newborn in the NICU, all wrapped up in her cords and trying not to tear out her feeding tube. Her sister let out a peep from the isolette across the room, signaling it was almost her turn to eat. My heart ached to just scoop them both up and never put them back down, never wanting either of them to feel as though they were second best or less important.<br />
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The reality is, as many of the stories touch on, that sharing is the name of the game with twins – whether it is our attention, their toys or experiences, it is the one thing that will be a constant in our lives from here on out. And for them, our multiples, it is all they have ever known after coming into this world with a built-in sidekick (or punching bag, depending on how well they get along). It is our job to make sure this hand they've been dealt goes as smoothly as possible. Every day we fight a battle of making sure no one feels less loved or supported, all while trying to maintain our own sanity, when in reality it's likely a losing battle. They were two people, born together, destined to compete no matter how hard we try. Thankfully, <b><a href="http://amzn.to/2uYOkCZ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Multiples Illuminated</a></b> is chock full of tips and tricks to ease the stress.<br />
<br />
One of my favorite quotes, from writer Pamela Alma Weymouth, describes it perfectly: “Today, there's not a day that goes by when I'm not playing peacemaker, teaching negotiation skills, slicing fruit into equal parts, measuring out juice, then comparing the two glasses with a microscope to make sure the levels are equal.” My girls are not yet at the stage of “but she got more!” but I already make sure everything is split evenly as much as possible in a desperate attempt to stave off more feelings of guilt.<br />
<br />
I found myself laughing out loud more than a few times and constantly nodding along as each writer's words rang true in my heart. Each story illustrates one of the numerous frustrations and joys of life as a parent of multiples; it is clear the writers dug deep to share these tales in the hope that they will help others – and I believe they will. I already feel better about the dreaded threenager stage we're entering and have more ideas to facilitate their individuality in a world where the most common question we receive is, "Do they have their own personalities?"<br />
<br />
As a twin mom and writer I am often asked for advice by other soon-to-be moms of multiples. From now on one of my suggestions will be to read this fantastic book. Whether your twins are still in-utero or headed off to kindergarten this fall, you will find something in this collection that eases a worry or puts a smile on your face. And we all know how important that is in this wild world of multiples!<br />
<br />
Multiples Illuminated comes out on August 4 (National Twins Day!)<br />
<br />
<a href="http://amzn.to/2uVAeDY" target="_blank">Click here</a> to order your copy of <b><u>Multiples Illuminated: Life with Twins and Triplets, the Toddler to Tween Years</u></b> today. <a href="http://amzn.to/2hnw6Yo" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Click here</a> for the Kindle version.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Maigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-20494534053828542002016-12-09T01:07:00.001-05:002016-12-11T20:48:15.712-05:00I'm Still HereI sat down to write this after a long but not awful bedtime. I'm all by myself tonight and while I wish it wasn't 9:00 already as I'm completely exhausted (but still have so much to do) I felt the urge to write something here. As Liz Gilbert might say, when that urge takes you, you do not simply press pause or you risk losing the idea. So, I write. Warning: it's long. But it'll probably be the last thing I write for a long time so maybe bookmark it and come back later? ;)<br />
<br />
Tonight, as I went back into the room (for the fourth time) where my almost 2.5 year old twins were kicking each other in the toddler bed they insist on sharing (despite having two perfectly usable beds), I took a deep breath and promised not to lose my cool on them, no matter what. I had already yelled once about 20 minutes prior and look where that had gotten me - no closer to them sleeping or me getting to the list of things I still had to do.<br />
<br />
As I held their hands and listened to them point out each other's body parts, I chose to smile along rather than think about the time I was "wasting." This was not easy, but eventually they hit a lull and I offered to sing a song. "Let it Go," Viv quietly demanded. So I sang, trying my best to channel Idina/Elsa without stirring them as they finally became still, their little chests rising and falling heavily. I couldn't help but notice how incredibly poetic it all was.<br />
<br />
You see, for a little while there, I lost myself. By lost I mean down the rabbit hole, searching for a life preserver, on a cliff lost. I don't share much about my mental health struggles with anyone, especially not online (hence the whole radio silence for 6 months thing) but this one was a doozy. I haven't felt that way in a very, very long time.<br />
<br />
The hardest part was being honest with myself. But I didn't want to do this again and fought it as hard as I could. It didn't even make any sense to me. I had <a href="http://www.lifeandlovemultiplied.com/2016/06/how-im-learning-to-live-my-best-life-at.html" target="_blank">taken up meditation, started journaling again and it was summer</a>! How could I feel this way? Why now?! But honestly, for a long time, I was absolutely miserable.<br />
<br />
I told myself all the things you say: <i>You'll be fine. This is just a hard time, you'll get through it like always. Get over it!</i> I forced myself to smile and hoped that it would just catch on. I got pretty good at faking it for a bit. But I've been on this ride before and I know how it ends and, at some point, it was do or die. Other people started to notice and my kids started to feel the affects and I realized that by avoiding the issue I was quickly becoming the very person I worked so hard to change. Bad habits started cropping back up, I lost my ability to just feel good. One day, I decided just to stop running away. I needed to face this, head on, or I was going to be lost forever in the tiny space between ok and not ok. It was hard freaking work, but three months later, I am still here. And significantly happier, I might add.<br />
<br />
It was a meditation that finally changed everything for me. I actually just remembered that. It was back in September. It's not my favorite meditation but the message for me was loud and clear:<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>"There is nothing wrong with you." </b><br />
<br />
Yes, I was currently troubled. Shit was kind of bad for a bit and we were worried. I talked about medication, seeing someone. There were options, but none of them felt like the right path for me.<br />
<br />
Backstory: I was 17 when I saw my first Psychiatrist. He was kind and genuine, actually let me believe that I had borderline personality disorder and then prescribed me some not so great medication, then another and then sent me on my way to college and the resident social worker who would continue my talk therapy work. Five years later I was still on the pills, albeit the best of them all, when I aged out of my parent's insurance, got a job I loved and met CJ. That was ten years ago and I haven't been to therapy or taken a pill since. I chalked it all up to simply being a lost, lonely and impressionable teenager (Girl, Interrupted is one of my favorite movies of all time).<br />
<br />
Imagine my surprise when all the same bs started cropping up again ten years later while I'm elbow-deep in raising two toddlers and trying to keep my infant nephew (and my marriage) alive at the same time? Worse, when you've been there already, you really, really don't want to go back - so you fight.<br />
<br />
You see, your life is picture perfect and since no one else can see behind the scenes you start to wonder if it really is all in your head. You convince yourself it can't be real so it's not real and there is nothing wrong with you because you're fine ok bye. All while you're screaming/crying/dying inside but you do not break (yet).<br />
<br />
Thankfully, I did learn quite a bit over those years in therapy (as well as from my little-used Psych degree) and I knew exactly what to do.<br />
<br />
For me, the core issue was a matter of finding peace with the fact that this was my life, no matter what I felt or wanted to change about it. No, I don't regret my babies or husband, but often dwell on our finances and the future. The choices we made and where they led us. The things that can incite my anxiety at all hours of day and night even though there is literally nothing I can do about any of it right that second.<br />
<br />
I finally realized, there is nothing wrong with <i>me</i>. It's my plans, and expectations and wants and desires and inability to just accept and go with the flow.<br />
<br />
Medicating would not fix it. Talking to someone else might help but would be just one more thing on my list. I needed to do the work, clear out the chaos and just be. More so, I needed to prioritize the things that really mattered: self-care, my closest relationships and positive, mindful motherhood. I needed to trust that this journey, no matter how difficult, was meant for me, while focusing my energy on the areas that I could change.<br />
<i><br /></i>
So I let things go.<br />
<br />
I gave up my dream of buying a house next year or even moving to a bigger apartment. I started seeing my backyard as an oasis, despite being smack in the middle of a neighborhood near an intersection. I cleared out the clutter and transformed our living spaces into places I enjoy spending time, rather than just living, in.<br />
<br />
I gave up even thinking about potty training or teaching the girls anything, really. They'll get there. And they have. They're brilliant and wonderful and sweet. I completely stopped mentioning the fact that they seemed to only want to survive on cheese and bread. They're pretty into carrots and apples right now, though. I'll take it!<br />
<br />
I gave up on my goal to have the house clean "enough." If I got to it, it got done, if I didn't, CJ did it, and with no complaints ever. I used that time and energy to actually play with and enjoy my kids every single day - hard as it was at first, even (especially?) for me. My mind still wanders to that to-do list but meditation is helping with that.<br />
<br />
Finally, I gave up my aspirations to write for all the mom sites everywhere, even this blog. For months I thought, if I only get published or featured once at one of these big places (other than at Twinversity who I love and will continue to write for) then I can call myself a "real" writer. I tried so damn hard and even pitched a few awful articles (seriously, I won't even share them here they're just bad) and got turned down or ignored and I felt like crap. I finally realized that it's not me who sucks (well, not entirely) but that the market is completely over saturated with all these amazing writers whose lives I myself follow every day. If I ever wanted to do anything meaningful, it needed to be something different.<br />
<br />
The second I let that one go, I felt better. No more wracking my brain and wasting hours a night trying to come up with a short AND funny AND compelling BUT sometimes hypocritical OR sanctimonious (inciting) piece for a few thousand shares on facebook and a couple blog hits. Plus, these women are so much better at it than I am, I don't even want to compete against them.<br />
<br />
Instead, I started a few book ideas and actually wrote a poem or two. That's as far as I've gotten but it's a work in progress, right?<br />
<br />
In the span of 8 months, I filled two journals, got up to two meditations a day totaling 30 minutes of straight up me time, cleared out a ton of clutter and cried my way through a lot of very hard days. I almost lost my best friend, almost went back to work and almost walked out the door a few times. But every day, by the grace of whoever runs this big mess, I kept on doing the work. I tuned in, slowed down and softened. All the while reaffirming my belief that while I might not be ok<i> right now</i>, this was just another part of my incredible journey.<br />
<br />
I focused my energy on enjoying my life, exactly as it was, without manipulation or filters or guilt (let me tell you that is the hardest thing to let go).<br />
<div>
<br />
Then, four days ago I signed up for a Mama Mini Retreat, hosted by <a href="http://www.motheringarts.com/" target="_blank">Mothering Arts</a>. The purpose was to create intentions and rhythms while clarifying our focus on what we wanted and needed the next month to be for ourselves and our families. I just happened upon it on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/motheringarts/" target="_blank">Facebook</a> and joined - it turned out to be one of the best things I've done for my mental health. The courses and prompts were short and simple yet deep and thought-provoking and I felt both challenged and inspired. These three days changed the way I plan our routines and commitments and helped me bridge the gap between wanting to be present and actually noticing and participating in my own life, something I've worked so hard on for so long.<br />
<br />
These words changed it all for me:<br />
<br />
<h4>
"The <i>Art of Mothering</i> is to embrace your authentic, imperfect, unique self. By doing this with gentleness and grace, we offer a living model of self-love to our child." - Kerry Ingram</h4>
<br />
<i>I am still here. There is nothing wrong with me.</i><br />
<br />
As a result of this course, I have a clear intention for the month of December: to embrace the spirit of the season in exactly the way that is going to serve my family best.<br />
<br />
This means closeness with our loved ones, sharing the warmth of blankets and Christmas lights, indulging in cookies and savoring the stillness of a snowy afternoon.<br />
<br />
It means reliving memories through decorations and music and putting real thought into selecting the gifts we will give to our closest ones to show how much they mean to us.<br />
<br />
It means letting go of the we-should-dos and I-want-tos while enduring every trying tantrum or ruined Kodak moment or insanely long bedtime with love, compassion and grace.<br />
<br />
It also means closing out an intense year on a high note and with the best of intentions for 2017. Which has a 7 in it and that's my favorite number, plus CJ is working his butt off and got a raise, so I have high hopes that it will be a good year.<br />
<br />
And to 2016? Well, you were a jerk. In so, so many ways for me and so many others. But I thank you for the lessons you provided me and my family and the fact that I now know if we can survive a year like you then we're pretty much good for life<br />
<i><br /></i>I am happy to say that I have won a year-long course provided by Mothering Arts. So at least I can thank 2016 for being the year that I finally won something! I've always believed that everything happens for a reason and this just shows me that staying true to my own path will always work out in the end.<br />
<br />
I probably won't be writing again any time soon as I simply don't have time (seriously, how do the legit Mommy Bloggers do this?) but I'll be keeping the blog live for the heck of it. Oh and here's a pic of our not-so baby girls wearing purple to celebrate World Prematurity Day last month (Nov. 17th).<br />
<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDNlasmX-BKx2A02YLKYeNz9uavrhc-3NMN2lq3H79Im1LS2UILg1AJwry9Ei8GI1lqecGBZg7zbuzxBwQ20srRdGRX6_0EqLd5Gd-BEwyhVag_TwWfL0Byi0dIf9loQgz7Sb_enbSG3A/s1600/girlsprematurityawareness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDNlasmX-BKx2A02YLKYeNz9uavrhc-3NMN2lq3H79Im1LS2UILg1AJwry9Ei8GI1lqecGBZg7zbuzxBwQ20srRdGRX6_0EqLd5Gd-BEwyhVag_TwWfL0Byi0dIf9loQgz7Sb_enbSG3A/s400/girlsprematurityawareness.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
Follow us on Instagram (@beau_leo_twins) to keep up with us!<br />
<br />
Thank you all for being a part of this journey with me, for supporting and loving me when I needed it most and for caring so damn much about these beautiful girls. I am sending all of you my best hopes for a magical season of love and kindness and wish you all the very happiest of new years!<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
Maigen</div>
Maigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-43269821787361489142016-06-17T14:51:00.000-04:002016-06-17T20:27:37.741-04:00How I'm Learning to Live My Best Life at 32 Years Old (Part 1)I started reading a book about living your most creative life and all of a sudden I lost my blogging mojo. Maybe it's as the book says, it's <a href="http://amzn.to/1V1OkpC" target="_blank"><u>Big</u> <u>Magic</u> by Elizabeth Gilbert</a> (affiliate) by the way: the force behind this idea, to write a blog about being a twin mom, up and left me when I stopped nurturing and playing with it. That sounds so sad!<br />
<br />
Really though, it's that I've taken on a huge challenge right now that takes up so much of my energy every day that my blog has been put on the back burner for a bit. I do still write, just not here. I've gone back to the art of paper and pen and I'm not just writing rants or lists, but stories and poems and prose and boredom pages - for the first time in years. It's all part of my plan to live my best life as I turn 32 years old. That happened last week, by the way (June 7th to be exact), in case you want to send a gift.<br />
<br />
As I faced turning 32, I realized that, at my core, I felt unfulfilled, despite being busy and far from bored much of the time. It felt like my life was something happening to me, rather than something I was actually experiencing. I love my life and my children, but it was time for some changes. So I've spent the last few weeks finding resources to help with that and doing the work to check things off my list. I truly want this year to be my best yet and so far, I'm on a roll. Here's what I've been up to:<br />
<br />
<h4>
Getting Organized and Actually Getting Things Done</h4>
<br />
I like lists and journals and collections of thoughts. I also like to keep all my stuff together but my previous method of six notebooks assigned to every aspect of my life just wasn't practical anymore (it hasn't been since graduating college really, but old habits die hard). I should have a planner but none have ever worked out for me. It always becomes a disorganized mess of empty calendars, chicken scratch collections of thoughts with a few forgotten to-do lists peppered in.<br />
<br />
Enter the Bullet Journal.<br />
<br />
I am officially obsessed and although I still have far too many lists and random rambling thoughts, I can now organize and find them easily, thanks to the key and the index, while also being constantly reminded of the important things I need to do. I prioritize my to-do lists and limit myself to only 3 or 4 items total so I don't get overwhelmed. I keep an inspirational bookmark on my daily page so it's the first thing I see in the morning.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7LDsZZ0NJeeGc3CPxlFwAw5jUWRcxIzux_SWJOKISfkWqym2k7vSkr8mzSA1kqbwo7f6ZgKb1bveFWPhKRVMEY9CSD7_oHdDM0CoiPmjFjnCCqCGn5zZeTX9ksKMXPJFVJllDEnOKtJA/s1600/bujotodo.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="456" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7LDsZZ0NJeeGc3CPxlFwAw5jUWRcxIzux_SWJOKISfkWqym2k7vSkr8mzSA1kqbwo7f6ZgKb1bveFWPhKRVMEY9CSD7_oHdDM0CoiPmjFjnCCqCGn5zZeTX9ksKMXPJFVJllDEnOKtJA/s640/bujotodo.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't you love my throwback to middle school with love, peace and
happiness? That's always made me feel good so it had to be included.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Every night I take a minute to check off my to-do list and migrate
things I didn't get done, then I write down a few things from the day, a
few that I am grateful for and the things I want to do tomorrow. Rather
than having things running through my brain, keeping me awake at night,
I'm able to get it all out and sleep so much better.<br />
<br />
<br />
The best part of a BuJo is that it has space for everything! There are no dividers so no risk of running out of room, just flip to the next page and mark it in your index. This way I can jot down any and all thoughts that stream through my head without hunting for the right notebook, so when my next big idea to strikes, I won't miss it.<br />
<br />
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<br />
My BuJo is also home to a lot of collections - books I want to read, blog and article ideas, inspirations I need to remember, recipes I want to try, day trip ideas and fun things do in our community. My favorite collection is a list of ways to play and connect with the kids - rather than trying to rack my brain for a way to lighten the mood or turning to google or pinterest, I just flip open my BuJo and inspiration is at my fingertips. Every time we discover or invent a new way to play or laugh, it goes in the book.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy9XlgMika1MYkNXvqx0dqlyJOwSQdtqd3DBdzz23UsaTGhSd6izON4aoz7fVVzBK73oi_nYHyz8vercChTW_MzqMNfr731dxw7fEB393YjAFLYgPaGkdGoBFzyL1kgIZpp5ecwK_1CeI/s1600/bujocollections.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="454" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy9XlgMika1MYkNXvqx0dqlyJOwSQdtqd3DBdzz23UsaTGhSd6izON4aoz7fVVzBK73oi_nYHyz8vercChTW_MzqMNfr731dxw7fEB393YjAFLYgPaGkdGoBFzyL1kgIZpp5ecwK_1CeI/s640/bujocollections.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Since I just started, I'm trying to work out the logistics before focusing on decor, so mine is severely lacking in the pretty you see if you google bullet journal. Also, my handwriting is a mess so I'm kind of embarrassed to share it with everyone but it's mine and it's perfect and man has it made my life easier. <br />
<br />
If you want to know more about Bullet Journals, <a href="http://bulletjournal.com/" target="_blank">start here</a>. And then check <a href="http://www.bohoberry.com/category/bullet-journal/" target="_blank">here</a>, <a href="http://productiveandpretty.com/category/bullet-journal/" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://www.alexandraplans.com/tag/bullet-journal-ideas/" target="_blank">here</a> and go crazy like I did.<br />
<br />
<h4>
Feeling Clear Headed and More Focused</h4>
<br />
Meditation is
one of those things that sounds so easy but is actually a total pain
when you try to do it. I can easily drop into the zone during a yoga session, but to just sit and breathe seemed impossible to me. My thoughts would just bounce around my head, getting
louder and louder. My eyelids start to
flutter, like my eyes are begging to look at something more
interesting and my breathing would actually become more labored and forced.
For a long time I thought meditation was a hoax.<br />
<br />
Really,
I just needed to learn how to do it properly. My Dad invited me to join <a href="https://www.headspace.com/" target="_blank">Headspace</a> - an app that walks you through it in small steps through
daily training sessions. In each of these ten 10-minute sessions you
practice relaxing, breathing and paying attention to your body with gradually decreasing guidance. It's
kind of amazing how easily I can do it myself now after just those 10
sessions. I'm too cheap to pay for the rest of the app's functions (but you should!) so I now rely on free guided meditations or I just do it myself.<br />
<br />
I've also gotten the kids started on their own practice. Every day we do some deep breathing, talk about what we're grateful for and spend a few minutes just quietly thinking. It's like hitting the reset button on a bad day and I know I'm helping them create a lifetime habit that they can always turn to.<br />
<br />
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<br />
I've finally learned how to disengage with the world and just
be with myself for a few minutes and it feels incredible. Totally weird
and still hard to do, but whenever I can I practice and I can actually
feel the weight of my worries being lifted. I wish I had figured this
out 20 years ago! <br />
<br />
<h4>
Reading More, Scrolling Less</h4>
<br />
My kids don't need this -
I did. They don't touch phones or tablets and in a day they watch maybe
an episode of Tumble Leaf or a Sia music video. I was addicted to my
phone and I knew it. Over time it's become my easy release, my only
break from my life. I hated that and was desperate to change it but
nothing I tried was working.<br />
<br />
So, I downloaded an app to
see just how much I used my phone. In just one day <a href="http://www.qualitytimeapp.com/" target="_blank">Quality Time</a> showed me how vital it was that I start making real changes.<br />
<br />
On that normal
day at home with the kids I spent almost <b>seven hours</b> looking at or using
my phone between 7am and 11pm. That's insane and it's not even including time spent in front of the computer or TV. Even worse, most of it was
freaking Facebook and not the ebook I was "reading"! I noticed the patterns;
Whenever I felt overwhelmed, anxious or just needed to
tune out, I'd Facebook it up, scrolling mindlessly until I found
something interesting to read or a dramatic comment thread to get lost
in.<br />
<br />
That night I unfollowed almost all of my friends
(no offense guys, you were just taking up too much space in my head),
left most of the mom groups I was in and unliked a million pages. Next, I
tailored my Facebook to inspire, educate or bore me, rather than
entertain me or kill my good mood over all the bad news, drama and
stupidity. I set a 1 hour a day limit and although I don't always stick
to it, it's never over 90 minutes and that includes reading blogs and
articles in the app.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbv1_q1Wg8O2JAT_mFCGftlU7LiB_HnyYvFya1lA-t8KrBVojqDwRPYFoCX4bUFWvKexrSfJ_rwIxvHYokNB7HvVgxpnsoUVAVOVpWcMnKlRYsggP_9JL95o9Kl7PVM-NqcPu0m4-lIwk/s1600/Screenshot_20160617-133857.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbv1_q1Wg8O2JAT_mFCGftlU7LiB_HnyYvFya1lA-t8KrBVojqDwRPYFoCX4bUFWvKexrSfJ_rwIxvHYokNB7HvVgxpnsoUVAVOVpWcMnKlRYsggP_9JL95o9Kl7PVM-NqcPu0m4-lIwk/s400/Screenshot_20160617-133857.png" width="225" /></a>I deleted all games from my phone except for
one escape game and stopped googling damn near everything that drifted
into my head. Instead, I keep a list of things to look up in my BuJo and
pencil it in as Research on to my to-do list. Unless it's an answer to a
kid's question that I really want to know, I get to it when I have
time. Same thing with blog and article ideas.<br />
<br />
Quality Time also helps to schedule breaks, turning off apps and
notifications, except for phone calls from important people. I
physically put my phone away for hours at a time now and after just a
few days I barely even noticed. If I get bored, I read a chapter in my
book, like I did 10 years ago, before I had a phone glued to my hand all
the time.<br />
<br />
I'm down to an average of less than 4 hours
of using my phone and most of that is listening to music, meditations or
podcasts, using the apps helping me on this journey and reading things
that I actually enjoy.<br />
<br />
I swear, it's like someone
finally turned the volume down inside my head. My eyes don't feel
strained by 6pm and colors seem more vibrant. I make the conscious
effort a million times a day to look up instead of down and I can
actually feel the difference. It's great having the world at our
fingertips but much like booze or gambling - it's all better in
moderation.<br />
<br />
So that's what I've been up to for the last month. Aside from feeling less distracted, I have a sense of real accomplishment for the first time in years. It's hard to be "just a stay-at-home Mom" or "just a babysitter." Even though I'm super busy all the time, I feel like I never really get anything done. It's like my brain has been on autopilot since the day the girls were born - wake, keep them alive and the house semi-habitable, sleep when you can. Even the easy, mundane goals (like cleaning up my family history files) have sat around gathering dust for 2 years.<br />
<br />
Now, thanks to an organized life, a clearer mind and what actually feels like more hours in the day, I'm able to set and accomplish not just day-to-day tasks, but future goals too. A big one is to start making money freelance writing. I've already been published over at <a href="http://www.twiniversity.com/2016/05/gettingthingsdonewithtwintoddlers/" target="_blank">Twiniversity</a> a few times and this year I'm shooting for <a href="http://www.scarymommy.com/" target="_blank">Scary Mommy</a> and <a href="http://mamalode.com/" target="_blank">MamaLode</a>.<br />
<br />
Stay tuned for Part 2 to learn how I've completely transformed the way I see, talk to and listen to my kids and finally started taking care of myself. <br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
Maigen Maigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-13039679061300110592016-05-13T00:18:00.003-04:002016-05-13T07:14:36.264-04:00Soooo... How About That Weather We've Been Having?Ok, so my last post was... out of the ordinary... for this blog at least. It was more like a personal journal entry that I was just pissed off enough over to actually publish online. I learned two things from this post: 1) People love drama - it has received the most hits ever had on my blog and in just two days. That is after 2 years of writing and over 160 published posts (I'd guess the inflammatory title had something to do with that) and 2) I'm better than that.<br />
<br />
I have to admit, my Dad helped me see it tonight (although I didn't admit it to him just then, I had to think on it more), that is not what this blog is about. It has always been a place where I can safely voice and work through my feelings, concerns and views while hopefully helping at least someone out there, <b><i>without</i></b> the drama and negativity that held me down so often in the past.<br />
<br />
If I had left it at just the blood =/= family stuff then it would have been fine, but instead, I made it personal and it got nasty. Which, in a way, made me no better than the person it was directed towards. Not cool. Especially since I've been trying for years to be better than that.<br />
<br />
So, I'm sorry for that. For not being authentic to my blog. Instead of satisfying my own desire for some sort of revenge, i should focus on keeping with the interests of my readers (all two of you!). I will never unpublish it, but it is definitely time to move on.<br />
<br />
I thought I'd lighten things up a bit with a picture heavy post of the fun we've been having this Spring. I know this post will only get about 1/4 of the hits as the last one, but I'm totally ok with that, because at least it's happy. I'd rather be known for the fun I share with my kids than the angry rants I hurl into the abyss of the interwebz.<br />
<br />
I hope you've been able to get out and enjoy the sunshine as we have. Here are some of our favorite things to do this time of year:<br />
<br />
<h4>
Dirt and Mud Play</h4>
<br />
Scooping, piling, plopping and, of course, digging - dirt play is the best! It's full of different sights, smells and textures and while it can be messy, it's pretty much a guaranteed fun time for anyone - except Mom who gets to strip off those messy clothes and do the laundry later. But that doesn't stop me - I love playing in the rain or creating puddles of mud with the hose. We don't do it every day, but when we do, it's so much fun.<br />
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<h4>
</h4>
<h4>
Water Play</h4>
<br />
Who doesn't love water play? It's like mud play, only cleaner! Unless you're my kids, of course - they always manage to come away as wet as if they'd gone swimming. I have a stash of cups, scoops, utensils, rags and more that I randomly throw in, but mostly they just splash and try to drink the hose water (don't worry, Mom, I don't let them!). On rainy days I just pour some water into bins and let them have at it on a shower curtain and towels. It's by far one of their favorites!<br />
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<br />
<h4>
Painting Outside</h4>
<br />
This has been one of my favorite activities for as long as I can remember. We did it last fall and painted all the leaves and twigs we could find. This time around I tried some homemade watercolor paint (a 10 second squirt of crayola washable paint mixed with about a cup of water). Since it dries so fast in the sun, it creates layers of color on the page and adds a whole new element to mixing colors. Do not make the same mistake I did and allow your kids to paint your unsealed concrete patio - while I am in love with our new tye-dye backyard, I'm not so sure our landlord will be.<br />
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<br />
<br />
<h4>
Playdough Outside</h4>
<h4>
</h4>
I love bringing indoor art mediums outside. With playdough, we've always enjoyed poking it with and molding it around sticks, rocks and pinecones or making faces with nature items. This time though, I just wanted to get rid of this batch of dough so I let them do whatever they wanted. It wasn't long before it was being stuck to everything from the fence to the trees. Lo and behold they discovered a whole new way to work with it: imprints.<br />
<br />
It was even cooler because you never knew what was going to stick. For example, the pine tree branches left these beautifully detailed and tiny illustrations of themselves. The grass just left a bunch of slants and dead ants. The cherry blossom tree was by far the coolest - the bark looks so smooth but in reality it's full of tiny dots. I was too busy exploring with them to get good pics but you get the idea. We still use <a href="http://theimaginationtree.com/2012/04/best-ever-no-cook-play-dough-recipe.html" target="_blank">The Imagination Tree's</a> recipe for our playdough, try it, you'll love it!<br />
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<br />
<h4>
Painting Flowerpots and Planting Seeds</h4>
<br />
I got these cute little pots at my bff's baby shower and knew we had to paint them. We set up outside and the kids went at it. Later, I mod-podged them to protect the paint from water. I picked up some potting soil and seed mix and waited for a nice day to get out and plant something.<br />
<br />
Of course, then came the week of torrential downpours so we did it inside. They played and poked until we added some seeds and water and said a little poem to help them grow. In hindsight, dirt inside was not the best idea - but they loved it. R gave his flowers to his Mom for Mother's day and I'm still praying the girls' will start to grow at some point.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJhajXAGaE5T1bB2PXYL9DmC2iaTYKqYQD-B3QMkDaomyHMROwafEzJcSOllsDWvcWMhDhGTXZbzU3yRJTya7oMTyEB261_Ucq9mQ907u9hkACpYDZBgzYUF113nWfQPmvG0B6_uXWnGM/s1600/paintingplay.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="376" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJhajXAGaE5T1bB2PXYL9DmC2iaTYKqYQD-B3QMkDaomyHMROwafEzJcSOllsDWvcWMhDhGTXZbzU3yRJTya7oMTyEB261_Ucq9mQ907u9hkACpYDZBgzYUF113nWfQPmvG0B6_uXWnGM/s640/paintingplay.jpg" width="640" /></a> <br />
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<br />
<h4>
Exploring Everything</h4>
<br />
My absolute favorite part of Spring is just getting out and soaking up the beauty of the new world, watching the rebirth after the long, cold winter. My backyard is a fantastic spot, filled with all sorts of trees, vines, flowers, birds and other woodland creatures. If it wasn't smack in the middle of a small city it would be perfect, but at least right now my kids can learn all about the city sounds of cars honking and sirens wailing (bright side, I'm really working on that optimism over here after my last post).<br />
<br />
Mostly they just roam around, pointing as I answer their inquiries and experimenting with their environment. Even the baby absolutely loves just chilling out, staring up at the trees and the clouds. I can't wait to get a second gate so I can trust putting him on a blanket on the ground but with 3 big kids running around it's not safe yet.<br />
<br />
The other day we watched as 3 squirrels ventured into the yard, unaware of our presence as we ate snack at the opposite end. They hopped and ran and tackled each other while we looked on, the kids stunned into silence and awe. They were just a few feet away before the saw us and hightailed it up the telephone pole, but it was magical for me and for them. And far better than any TV show.<br />
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<br />
<h4>
The Cherry Blossom Saga</h4>
<h4>
</h4>
I wouldn't feel right if I didn't include this in the tale of our Spring. Every year since we moved in I have loved watching and waiting for our huge cherry blossom tree to make its blooming debut. It starts as hairy gray buds and then one day they burst open and fill the sky with pink and white, right outside my kitchen window. Last year, I took some beautiful pictures of the girls in front of it and couldn't wait to do a comparison shot in the same spot this year.<br />
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<br />
Except this year, it bloomed too early. Who can blame it, what with the 75 degree temps in mid-March? But then, the very next day, the temperature dropped and the ground was covered in 3 inches of snow for only the second time all winter. And all those innocent, pure, beautiful blooms died. <br />
<br />
I hadn't even taken a picture yet since I knew it would only get better.<br />
<br />
And it never came back.<br />
<br />
I cried.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXm_DXhHPiT12EWvJ79PrfkaTxCqgHBSDBFTG3RPAS7QVeW7IPQb_su5rZbPKDwZ6ZCvv0TKD67ugebC2l9za1z-LTr1303mVud5794wrAW7ksubG9dhaUAahUL3MnIv2nFrd4krAE-gs/s1600/deadcherryblossom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXm_DXhHPiT12EWvJ79PrfkaTxCqgHBSDBFTG3RPAS7QVeW7IPQb_su5rZbPKDwZ6ZCvv0TKD67ugebC2l9za1z-LTr1303mVud5794wrAW7ksubG9dhaUAahUL3MnIv2nFrd4krAE-gs/s640/deadcherryblossom.jpg" width="396" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It wouldn't be so sad if they were just buds - but all that brown, those are dead blooms :(</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
But then, just yesterday, I noticed it. One single white bloom amidst a sea of green leaves. As if it were there just for me. I made sure all the kids got as close as they could to check it out.<br />
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<br />
It seemed to be just another reminder that even when it seems so, all is never lost. Somehow, light has a way of shining even in the coldest of darkness. Even after everything else has been torched - there is always a way to survive. I can't help but think of how ironic it is in relation to my previous post.<br />
<br />
Anyway, Spring is truly here and Summer is on its way. I hope you have a chance to get out and take in all the beauty that our world is giving us right now!<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-22483148113150737142016-05-10T19:35:00.000-04:002016-05-10T21:22:24.650-04:00Hey Jerk Who Tried To Ruin My Mother's Day - I Hope You're Happy.We went to the wedding last weekend and it was wonderful. I am so so glad I went. It was a beautiful, simple ceremony overlooking a lake in CJ's hometown. We are so happy for the bride and groom and had so much fun reconnecting with family, many of whom we haven't seen in years. We danced and drank and even went out afterwards - I'm pretty proud of myself for making it to 2am for the first time in years!<br />
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We missed the girls but they had a fabulous weekend, making tons of memories (and even a mother's day gift for me) with some of their favorite people. When we got home we spent the afternoon relaxing and laughing with our babies in celebration of Mother's Day. It was truly a wonderful weekend for all of us!<br />
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<br />
But, because I'm me, it all had to end in some twisted effing way that left me on a low note rather than a high one. I got to spend Sunday night being verbally harassed through text message, for hours, by a total freaking wacko who I have only had the displeasure of meeting once in my life. I won't even bother giving her the satisfaction of more attention than she is worth by telling you who she is or all the awful things she said. Suffice it to say she's out of our lives now.<br />
<br />
However, in its own messed up way, this experience, coupled with the events of the weekend, helped truly solidify my belief that the bonds of love are much stronger than bloodlines. <br />
<br />
You see, we spent our weekend surrounded by the most loving, supportive people I have ever known, aside from my own family. There is so much joy in our gatherings with them. Even though it is technically CJ's "side," I feel just as comfortable with them as I do with my own. My relationship with them is something I truly cherish and one of my favorite parts of our marriage. And yet, CJ is only biologically "related" to one single person in the whole group - his mom, who was adopted as an infant.<br />
<br />
I've never really been close to anyone who was adopted and I'll admit as a family historian, I was curious about it at first. It was always so important to me to know where I came from, in terms of both geography and genealogy. And yet, my own husband and mother-in-law do not really know. But that means very little when you see the bonds that they have with every member of their family. The love, support and laughs they share is all the evidence you need to know that biology does not determine who is part of our true family.<br />
<br />
This fact was made even more clear to me when, while relaxing after a wonderful weekend, I was berated out of nowhere for not presenting my children like a set of show ponies to a group of relatives, who <i>are</i> biologically related to them but who have no more of a relationship with us than that of a casual acquaintance.<br />
<br />
Without saying too much (it's not really my story to tell, or it wasn't, rather, until this person saw reason to drag me into it), I will say that there is a lifetime of history between these people and my husband and much that even I do not know.<br />
<br />
It's a story like many others, of young love, a bitter divorce, and a young child stuck in the middle. I watched many friends struggle with this over the years, but it's different being on this side of it. My own parents split, amicably, when I was 21. I never knew the heartbreak of having to choose, of feeling like a failure for not doing enough to maintain a relationship with a parent. I never experienced the pain of your blood tugging you in one direction, while your heart, in an attempt to protect your soul, led you in the other.<br />
<br />
Over our years together, I have watched my husband's relationships with these relatives go through some ups and downs, but mostly it's been radio silence on both ends. I have aided in repair attempts a few times, only to then see months go by without a word from either side. I have watched the person I love most in the world pine for a closeness that will never be with the only people he is biologically related to aside from his mother, and now his children. And it kills me, every single time, to know that it was all out of his hands long before he could even walk.<br />
<br />
We are who we are. There is no changing someone's true nature. You can blame time, distance and other circumstance, but at the end of the day, you either try, or you don't. You either care enough to give a part of yourself, facing the risk of rejection, or you don't. And eventually, the people who are supposed to give a damn, who are supposed to stick with you through and through, will realize this, and give up. <br />
<br />
And who can blame them? After all, when it's all they've ever known, why wouldn't they?<br />
<br />
But sometimes, the kids grow up, they are able to take control, make their own choices and, in the best cases, a shift in the relationship occurs. Words are exchanged, forgiveness is granted for mistakes of the past and there is hope for a future. All is not lost.<br />
<br />
Except when someone takes it upon themselves to interject, throwing off the delicate balance of this new-found acceptance. This person, taking the information they have garnered through drunken conversations, the rumor mill of a small town and their own imagination, becomes angry and resentful over something that has nothing to do with them. Then, in a fit of bitter, drunken anger, reeling from their own pain, they open their mouth and target the entirely wrong person. And all hell breaks loose.<br />
<br />
Old wounds are reopened. More people are hurt. And those relationships that just a bit ago were on the mend are now being thrown into the fire at the hand of a stranger.<br />
<br />
I know you're reading this, so, I hope you're happy. With your misguided accusations, disgusting lack of tact, incredibly hurtful and angry words, you single-handedly destroyed something that took years to rebuild. Up until that night, you had our sympathy, for we all know the hell you've been through. But you chose to take your pain and attack me in an attempt to make me feel sorry for things that are completely out of my control.<br />
<br />
Thanks to your inability to control your tongue (or your alcohol) you managed to hurt the one the person you claim to care so much for, as well as the truly innocent in this situation: the great grandparents of my children, who, through no fault of their own are now going to miss out on getting to know two of the best little people in the world.<br />
<br />
All because you feel as though you have some sort of right to try and forcefully fix this relationship that you are not a part of. Worse, you go about it in the worst possible way. As if shaming, humiliating and berating us is going to do the trick. As if we don't already know how difficult it is, for everyone involved. All because you seem to think you have some semblance of an idea about the events that transpired decades before your time in his life.<br />
<br />
As if you have no idea that you are the very reason we have stayed away for so long. Or does your brain simply choose not to remember the last time you did this to us?<br />
<br />
Here's the thing: you don't know us. You have no idea of what we have been though. You don't know me, and you certainly don't know my children or how I parent them. And now, thanks to your profuse word-vomit, you never will. I can only hope that you feel the regret of this choice and that it hurts, as you hurt me, although after that night I am not sure you have a heart with which to feel that pain.<br />
<br />
We, on the other hand, we will be just fine. Better, even. For now we know: blood does not make you family. True family is built with love, respect, patience and kindness. It's giving of yourself because you want to, even if it is inconvenient or hard. Going out of your way to build trust and strengthening bonds through communication and time. It cannot be forced and it does not simply exist because 30 years ago two people made a baby together.<br />
<br />
We know what true family is and I thank God every single day that we are surrounded by it. And now, I thank God that it will never, ever include you. In a way, I should say thank you, for taking the choice out of my hands.<br />
<br />
Like I said, I hope you're happy. I know I am. <br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
Maigen Maigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-39699478559793004852016-05-04T22:47:00.003-04:002016-05-04T23:21:31.279-04:00I don't want to go. But I do. And I don't. Growing up with anxious tendencies, a brain that would never shut up and a heart that felt everything way too much, I was a wreck most of the time. The most common phrases used to describe me have always been "worrywart," "dramatic," and "crazy." Yeah, I was fun to be around.<br />
<br />
I've spent a long time trying to fix these less than awesome aspects of my personality and have it pretty under control. Until I'm faced with something totally new and unknown and usually a little scary. Then I get sent into orbit.<br />
<br />
This weekend we're going to a wedding about 4 hours away. We'll stay overnight and be home mid-day Sunday. It's going to be fun and I'm excited to go. But I'm also freaking the hell out about my babies who will be staying behind. It's safe to say I'm in full-blown crazy mode, feeling like bundle of nerves, bursting into tears and talking to myself at random.<br />
<br />
It's a fun game that I know all too well. <br />
<br />
My stupid body cannot get it together and is pulling me in both directions. It's like one side <i>knows</i> that it will be good for us to get away. It's a great time to do it and they will be fine with my parents. The other side is like, "What in the eff are you thinking? This is the worst idea ever and you will regret it. Do not go, stay home!"<br />
<br />
Because I'm not ready. Because I'm afraid that they're not ready. Because it's Mother's Day.<br />
<br />
Nowadays, nine times out of 10 I'm able to trust the more reasonable side and get over my issues. I deal with the emotions of it all and just let it go. I learned somewhere along the way that whenever I don't listen to the logical side, I regret it. But even the pain of past regrets isn't enough to stop the war in my brain this past week.<br />
<br />
Going to the wedding is the rational, sane thing to do. But it is hurting my heart and I really don't want to. Except that I do. It will be fun and we need it and we're already committed so that's not cool. Part of me is terrified that I'll fall back into my old ways and just not go. It would be so easy and so typical of me, but disappointing to many, including CJ.<br />
<br />
It brings me back. I'm 18 years old, sitting on the floor of my dorm room, a hot mess of sweat and tears and begging my Dad to pack all my crap up
because there was no way in hell I was staying there.<br />
<br />
He almost
did it, but instead, he waited for and helped me deal with my stress - to process it and
breathe. And then it was over. Two hours later I was having dinner with
my "new friends."<br />
<br />
I can't even being to fathom right now how different my life
would be if I had actually gone home that day. <br />
<br />
Today, I pretty much decided I wasn't going. I was loving on my babies and telling myself that people would understand, we've got twins, I'm still nursing, it would be too hard. But then I realized I was doing it again. I was about to miss out on something simply because I was terrified of the what-ifs and unknowns. <br />
<br />
So, I cried. And then, I went out and bought new shoes. I spent $35 on myself at Target and bought a cute pair of shoes to go with my fabulous <a href="http://www.judeconnally.com/" target="_blank">Jude Connally</a> dress. I even bought nail polish since I should have gotten a pedicure (needed a hair cut and color too) but I
just kept putting it off as part of not wanting to go. <br />
<br />
But I am going, too-long gray hair and all. And I will have fun because if there is anything in this world I need right now it is a night away. Even if it means I will miss my babies so incredibly much that I'll probably cry a few hundred times and try to facetime them every ten minutes during the reception.<br />
<br />
I finally realized something today: they need this as much as I do. It's supposed to be hard because we are each others world right now, but we can't be <i>everything</i> for each other, not forever at least. <br />
<br />
They need to see that it's ok to get dressed up and go out and have fun. Even when you're a Mom. Especially when you're a Mom.<br />
<br />
They need to see that it's ok to be nervous about something new but not to let it ruin what could be a perfectly wonderful experience.<br />
<br />
They need to experience making memories with their grandparents without Mom nearby. It's one of the best parts of childhood, especially with my awesome parents. They will get spoiled and probably be nightmares for us but it will be worth it.<br />
<br />
They need to know that when I leave, I will come back and that bad things do not always happen when someone goes away for a bit. This is something I <i>still </i>struggle with. Considering we haven't been apart for more than 8 hours since they came home from the NICU 21 months ago, I'd say it's time.<br />
<br />
Wish me luck and pray I don't wake up Saturday "sick" or flat-out refuse to get dressed like I used to do when I was a kid/last year.<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-68984216548664799472016-04-29T08:00:00.000-04:002016-04-29T08:00:07.674-04:00Twin Toddler Obsessions Part 2: Where the Wild Things Are!I read somewhere that the average parent has at least 5 picture books memorized by the time their kid is a year old. I'm up to eight at 21 months (these are affiliate links. I'm a book snob so they are all decent books, I promise):<br />
<br />
<a href="http://amzn.to/1SxkaO3" target="_blank">Peekaboo Baby</a><br />
<a href="http://amzn.to/1SxkjRC" target="_blank">Goodnight Moon</a> <br />
<a href="http://amzn.to/1QE3XRC" target="_blank">Touch and Feel Farm</a><br />
<a href="http://amzn.to/1rmlM36" target="_blank">Llama Llama, Red Pajama </a><br />
<a href="http://amzn.to/1rmlQQh" target="_blank">One Love</a><br />
<a href="http://amzn.to/1QE45jU" target="_blank">That's Not My Owl</a><br />
<a href="http://amzn.to/1SOewpK" target="_blank">The Big Book of Happy </a><br />
<br />
and most recently, <a href="http://amzn.to/23arDEa" target="_blank">Where The Wild Things Are</a> <br />
<br />
This simple story, by Maurice Sendak, is 53 years old and has just over 300 words. It's a classic, topping tons of "best of" lists. It reads like a poem and the detailed images keep even the busiest kids entranced. And it
is the first book that my toddlers have really fallen in love/<a href="http://www.lifeandlovemultiplied.com/2016/03/twin-toddler-obsessions-pentatonix.html" target="_blank">become obsessed</a> with. I'm proud.<br />
<br />
That said, I have read WTWTA so many times now that I am actually dreaming about it. Weird, freaky dreams that don't end well for me - that's fun.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggIFJ2qfS23EiBHmh159VUyOdhjx03zClVlWXgQ1areLnTMUr9wKn-24N40DR672ktnME12blRYmguOj13BSDdSYND9Tuyr1MqjeuwXbgvhyphenhyphenZFmbHMpVJjufbhLeg1wIaoQCqtrWdM-nE/s1600/20160416_171435.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggIFJ2qfS23EiBHmh159VUyOdhjx03zClVlWXgQ1areLnTMUr9wKn-24N40DR672ktnME12blRYmguOj13BSDdSYND9Tuyr1MqjeuwXbgvhyphenhyphenZFmbHMpVJjufbhLeg1wIaoQCqtrWdM-nE/s400/20160416_171435.jpg" width="305" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Getting ready to show me her terrible claws!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
But they love it so much. I'm sure my dramatic readings (which are Oscar-worthy) have something to do with it, though they might be slowly driving CJ insane.<br />
<br />
We no longer hear "SHOES!" in our house. In fact, we haven't watched a PTX video in weeks. I'm not gonna lie, I might have claimed YouTube went away for a little while. They'll be fine.<br />
<br />
Now, Jules carries this large paperback book <i>everywhere</i> and just throws it at me and growls when she wants me to read it. <br />
<br />
<b><i>"I'll eat you up!" </i></b><br />
<br />
You can't read this book from a mom's perspective.<b> </b>Read it like you're Max. You're 8 years old and pissed because your mom won't play along with your fun and nobody really understands you and this is the only way you know how to express your love for and frustration with her. Keep up the rhythm of the words at the pace of a kid who's just making it all up as he goes along.<br />
<br />
Get excited because you're on the adventure of a lifetime. <br />
<br />
It's magical.<br />
<br />
And then there are the messages woven into the story. Yeah, I've gotta put a boring adult spin on it and read way too much into the complexities of a made-up 8 year old's psyche, but there is so much that my girls could learn from this simple tale:<br />
<br />
<i>Love is complicated and can make you feel all sorts of crazy. Like you want to eat someone up. That's ok. In fact, it's awesome. You should embrace that and run with it. Just don't really eat them.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>We all have different ways of expressing our frustrations and we need to be patient with each other. We should try to hear beyond people's words and listen to what they're feeling.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Imagination is a powerful tool. It has the ability to distract us from and help us process our struggles as well as help us heal.</i><br />
<i><br />"Be still." It's one of the best ways to feel calm and centered amidst chaos. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Friends can come in all shapes and sizes; you should never judge someone based on their appearance. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Sometimes you just need to let loose and be wild in order to gain some perspective and feel better. Dancing in the moonlight is pretty much one of the best ways to do this.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Even when you have all you ever wanted, you'll still want to be "where someone loves you best of all." </i><br />
<br />
<i>Because there really is no place like home. Wherever or whoever that happens to be.</i><br />
<br />
<i>Even when she makes mistakes, Mom will usually come through for you in the end. Be patient with her too.</i><br />
<br />
<i>Feed your kids. </i><br />
<br />
Really, what an awesome first book to be obsessed with, right? Hell, even if it didn't give me all kinds of feelings, I'd happily read it all day every day just to hear those giggles and see those little claws come out.<br />
<br />
But then, the unthinkable (not) happened. <br />
<br />
After six straight weeks of 10 times a day readings (a shockingly long time for a paperback book to survive in the hands of twin toddlers), WTWTA finally suffered an unfortunate death by toddler. Jules' excitement got the better of her and she shredded it during nap time.<br />
<br />
This threw Viv, who might suffer from some of her Dad's obsessive neat-freak tendencies, into a full-blown tizzy every time we tried to read what was left. She couldn't even look at the book without trying to "fix" the broken pages. They would battle it out until someone moved on or the book went away. It was a nightmare.<br />
<br />
What was left of their beloved book had to "get lost" for a few days until I could order another. I did my best to tell the story without the pages and read all their other old favorites but it just wasn't the same. <br />
<br />
Then last night, while picking out books for bedtime, Jules chose this huge one filled with 20 picture books. She opened it up and there they were, on the first page she flipped to, her wild things. <br />
<br />
Her tiny face lit up as she pointed and shouted, "AHHH! Dis! Tis!? Rrrraaaa?!" It's the first time I've seen her truly excited for something other than my boobs or her Dad.<br />
<br />
I still know it by heart so I played my part while she flipped through the pages with a fervor, zeroing in on her favorite images: the dog, the ocean and the dance in the moonlight. We roared and showed our claws and she squealed with glee.<br />
<br />
They repeated the last word with me like they always do. "Hot!" <br />
<br />
But then it was bedtime and she wanted to take this huge, gorgeous, expensive book to bed with her. I couldn't let her. Not after what she did to the one I got for a buck at a consignment store. We "found" old faithful and she happily traded. All was well! Good night!<br />
<br />
Then her sister spotted it and lost her mind at the sight of those torn pages. I ended up basically ripping the book in half. Viv got the few pages that were whole and Jules got the torn ones. Half an hour and 3 more readings later they happily went to bed, each with their half in hand. Peace - for now. <br />
<br />
Needless to say I already ordered few more copies. Although, considering how fast the PTX obsession died they'll move on by the time my prime shipping gets them here. Either way, I'm definitely going to hold on to the shreds of the original to share with them one day. I think they'll get a kick out of it.<br />
<br />
<h3>
What was the first book your children fell in love with? Did it survive your obsessive toddlers?</h3>
<h3>
</h3>
Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-70774631576334793772016-04-24T23:15:00.001-04:002016-04-24T23:31:47.462-04:00And for this, I am grateful.My 2 month old nephew started coming here when my sister went back to work a few weeks ago. It's been an adjustment for all of us, especially the girls and R, the 4 year old boy I watch. While I am by no means a "baby person," I much prefer toddlers and preschoolers, I am kind of loving having him here. He is satisfying my baby fever but I get to sleep all night (well some, at least.) <br />
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<br />
Little man Zack is so chill and already gives the best smiles. I love just hanging out with him when all the other kids are resting. He is still pretty much in the eat, poop, sleep phase but when he's awake he loves to snuggle and then have some intense hang out time in his little yes space we have set up. He's a mover and so smart, already grabbing things and trying to roll over. I love caring for him and watching him grow. But it's kind of killing me too.<br />
<br />
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It's not the stress of caring for a baby on top of the other kids. This was my life for years in daycare, mixed ages and mayhem. I can't even lie and say that caring for one baby is just as hard as caring for two (it's really, really a lot easier), but again, that's all I know. So that's not it either.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYNSW2S7-KStjNwzJ7PyzX1r7Cmlboffu23J1zZAwXiej7RqVLxEAFs7HtKHGQIn2gK1cXZP6ibauR5HdD7EuZzAYhsnrkWOqgl0hjqXih0nZNRrnehLKUaeuvwDg3ADZ1FxeHOdvCMhI/s1600/20160414_152231.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYNSW2S7-KStjNwzJ7PyzX1r7Cmlboffu23J1zZAwXiej7RqVLxEAFs7HtKHGQIn2gK1cXZP6ibauR5HdD7EuZzAYhsnrkWOqgl0hjqXih0nZNRrnehLKUaeuvwDg3ADZ1FxeHOdvCMhI/s400/20160414_152231.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh hey, look who mastered feeding 3 kids under 2 at once!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
It's the sadness I feel when I connect with him during those special, quiet moments - when he lights up as I change his diaper or when he just relaxes and is content lying on me after a bottle.<br />
<br />
It breaks my heart because I know my own babies so rarely had those same experiences. It wasn't for lack of trying - I know the importance of those moments - it was because it seemed like every single time I wanted to stop everything and just love and see and feel my baby, the other one needed me too.<br />
<br />
I have very few solid, seared-in memories from those early days. I remember the first time I felt them on my cheek and bits of seeing and holding them for the first time. But the moment that I will forever remember was the very first time I was feeding Jules and Viv woke up too early.<br />
<br />
They were in the NICU and on staggered feeds at the time. They were each awake for exactly half an hour every 3 hours and we had just that much time to change, temp, feed and snuggle with Jules before it was Viv's turn. They were taking forever to get through just a few milliliters at this time and the threat of going back to the feeding tube was real.<br />
<br />
It was one of those days already, I had missed Jules' kidney ultrasound that morning and then Viv kept pulling off one of her leads, setting off that freaking awful alarm while I sat there and wondered if she had just died until someone finally came in and said, "Oh, no big deal, just needs some more tape!"<br />
<br />
Anyway, I was feeding Jules. She had like .5 ml to go and it was getting close to Viv's time. I knew we could push Viv off a bit but I was alone and didn't want to risk someone else getting to do anything with her. I was actually begging Jules to just eat faster so we could snuggle before Viv woke up. And then I heard it. Viv stretched out her arms and let out a tiny little sound. I looked up and there she was, 3 feet away in her little box, eyes wide open, totally awake and alert. Staring right at me. They didn't cry out back then, not in the way people think babies do. She just looked at me, I swear she was willing me to go to her, and I felt this surge of helplessness. I looked at her, and back down at Jules, in my arms and still with a bit of bottle to go, and I knew: this would be the story of their life.<br />
<br />
They would never know the feeling of having my 100% undivided attention at their beck and call. Sure, I can say almost 2 years in that they've gotten plenty of one-on-one quality time. I think? I don't really know because<i> I'll</i> never be the mom who knows what it's like to devote 100% of my attention to one of my children. I will always be thinking of or wondering about the well-being of the other one. There's never not been "the other one" for any of us.<br />
<br />
In a way, they're lucky. It's all they know. If I were to ask them in 5, 10 or even 50 years what it's like to be a twin, they wouldn't be able to answer the question - because they have nothing to compare it to.<br />
<br />
For me, I see it, I feel it every day, the pull to be there for my child, to do everything to make her feel safe and secure and make her feel like the most important thing in my world. And more often than I would have ever liked, I've needed to ignore that feeling, as I was too busy making sure <i>the other one</i> knew that <i>she was also the most important thing in my world</i>.<br />
<br />
I missed things. Like the first time Jules rolled over. And when one of them took their first steps - worse, I can't even remember for sure <i>who </i>I missed and it's only been 8 months. I have forgotten so much already because there is so much more to remember.<br />
<br />
These things seem so petty but I guarantee singleton moms know. There is no question. The little big things that make up every day with your child. A mom of one child knows. There is never any confusion over who did what and when. Or who is crying or hurt before she gets there.<br />
<br />
She doesn't ever have to wonder if she put the right kid in the right crib last night.<br />
<br />
Or if she is seriously damaging her teeny tiny infants because one is starving and has been crying for a few minutes longer than she's comfortable with while she is trying to get the other, supposedly easier one, to latch.<br />
<br />
The entire first year was so hard and scary and so, so rushed. Everything. There was so little time to talk to them, to connect with and really slow down and see them. It was diapers, bottles/boobs, burp, squeezing in some not-so-quality time, sleep, wake and repeat. For months on end.<br />
<br />
By the time they were more alert and we were all better adjusted, this was just our routine and it worked so we never questioned it. Until, all of a sudden, they're almost two years old and things are finally slowing down and we're all like, "Who are you people!?" <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDp_NGL1aa1IKLgFJRq358-XK1FbCOdLzbS6uDifxZralYTAmWkR-75ABaJezENydhUjJIwVh6L5RRoNdLw9HF6jPpfMyhmT4e5s763OLu9U9-t5bknSCYX2D_RvKpmOraL_MfmJFWElc/s1600/20160408_103503.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDp_NGL1aa1IKLgFJRq358-XK1FbCOdLzbS6uDifxZralYTAmWkR-75ABaJezENydhUjJIwVh6L5RRoNdLw9HF6jPpfMyhmT4e5s763OLu9U9-t5bknSCYX2D_RvKpmOraL_MfmJFWElc/s400/20160408_103503.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
It's like we're just starting to get to know them. Because I'm not always distracted or busy or stressed so I get to sit and watch and actually see what they are really all about. <br />
<br />
I feel like I'm just getting the hang of actually snuggling and cuddling them, because I'm not always trying to juggle them or keep two floppy babies safe in my arms at once.<br />
<br />
I don't have to rush through baths or diaper changes because no one is screaming to be fed or put to sleep in the background.<br />
<br />
I can enjoy outings and get-togethers again, as they will play and eat real food and sit with others and I can just hang out. <br />
<br />
And, of course, they have each other. To play with, to snuggle, and just talk to. <br />
<br />
I can finally breathe.<br />
<br />
But with those deep breaths, the ones that come with no longer having to hurry and keep everyone happy, there also comes this intense regret.<br />
<br />
For letting the day-to-day tasks of care-giving get in the way of actually caring for my children.<br />
<br />
For not giving them the peace and calm and connection that I think babies need in those early days.<br />
<br />
Mostly, for the fact that I tried so hard to do everything <i>right </i>that I mucked up the most important thing - just being a new mother and embracing the madness that came with it.<br />
<br />
I focused so much on keeping everyone alive and happy that I forgot to be grateful for, and bask in the amazingness that was becoming a mother of twins.<br />
<br />
It's hard not to dwell on this but I'm reminding myself
that I'm the only one who even gives a damn and that they<i> are</i> <i><b>fine</b></i>. Even if I doubt every single day that it was enough, I'm smart enough to know that they are fantastic, that they love me and I love them and that is all that matters. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWrokQrTNx6jnZETxsq4lUP8Xjs7Mfu7jrvDi-y-kFLoHmmuKUTyU_PuSIZW1cQf0pWYQyQRsd3LJIQJPShA_KhBLvrQzV19Alv9SLmtgQHB0hSvcoqhnmV9ffPe_qSnsKxxQpt5WNxZk/s1600/20160408_104545.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWrokQrTNx6jnZETxsq4lUP8Xjs7Mfu7jrvDi-y-kFLoHmmuKUTyU_PuSIZW1cQf0pWYQyQRsd3LJIQJPShA_KhBLvrQzV19Alv9SLmtgQHB0hSvcoqhnmV9ffPe_qSnsKxxQpt5WNxZk/s400/20160408_104545.jpg" width="300" /></a>In a sense, I'm grateful for the regret. It's making me, 21 months in, be much more mindful of all the little things. Our first little conversations that we're having and all the words they try to say and mispronounce. When they look at me with joy as they discover something new. Every single time they offer me a hug and a kiss without me doing it first.<br />
<br />
Maybe I'm just hoping to make up for lost time and attention, but a part of me believes that all is not really lost. I know now that while the bond of those first few months is super important, it is hardly going to define our relationship as mother and daughters.<br />
<br />
Because now the connection is two-sided. We not only see, but hear and understand each other. We are bridging the gaps that opened when I was just trying to survive.<br />
<br />
Every time we connect over something silly that I could have easily missed or they grab my hand just because, I know I'm succeeding. I'm filling those spaces where those early memories should have been. And for this I am grateful. For this awareness, this new found appreciation and my ability to forgive myself for just not knowing at the time.<br />
<br />
All is not lost. There are still thousands of moments to share and love and connect. And this is when it really matters.<br />
<br />
At least that's what I'm going to keep telling myself.<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-91227004464240431062016-04-04T21:45:00.003-04:002016-04-04T22:36:02.481-04:00General Hospital Tackled Public Breastfeeding and It Was Amazing<br />
<i>Yes, this post is about a soap opera. And breastfeeding in public. Have I officially hit housewife status or what? </i><br />
<br />
I remember when I was about 10 years old I thought for sure I had a brain tumor. I did not have any symptoms of one, but I was convinced it was there. Because Dominique Baldwin, a character on my favorite show, General Hospital, had one. Yeah, I was <i>that</i> kid. I thank Vada from My Girl for that personality quirk of mine.<br />
<br />
By age 9, I was hooked and learned quite a bit about life from GH, including how to kill someone, fall in love, have an affair, what to do if an evil Russian woman cursed you and that people can come back from the dead multiple times. I watched religiously for 12 years until I graduated from college and had to get a real job which got in the way of my habit. Luckily soap operas are just like old friends and after almost 10 years off I was able to pick right back up where I left off when I stopped working while pregnant with the girls.<br />
<br />
Little has changed in Port Charles and many of my favorite characters are still alive and up to their same antics. The dead just keep on rising and even veteran characters who were long gone have returned. I was devastated to find out that Luke and Laura Spencer had since parted ways but, despite Luke leaving the show last year, I'm pretty sure even that is only temporary.<br />
<br />
Now that I am older I have a better appreciation for the real-life issues that GH portrays. While it can be a hotbed of fantasy with a healthy dose of paranormal, the writers have never shied away from tackling tough subjects such as rape, breast cancer, HIV, homosexuality, alcohol and drug abuse, infertility and domestic violence. And lately, finally the point of this post, public breastfeeding.<br />
<br />
Here's a recap in case you missed it (which you did because you're not me):<br />
<br />
Olivia is meeting with the Mayor of Port Charles, known only as Lomax, in the restaurant of her hotel when her baby gets hungry. She starts to feed him, much to the mayor's horror. Instead of excusing herself or just looking away, the mayor makes a huge fuss, using her power to belittle Olivia and essentially bully her into either making her child wait to eat or ending the meeting because she "shouldn't have to see that."<br />
<br />
Olivia refuses to stop trying to feed baby Leo, despite being humiliated and told that she "shouldn't be doing that in public where people are eating." That's when the Mayor threatens to have her arrested for public indecency. If you know anything about public breastfeeding you probably know it's perfectly legal. Olivia knows that too. She gets up to leave in a huff and accidentally bumps the table, which is when she's arrested for assaulting a public official.<br />
<br />
Olivia's baby-daddy, Julian, is married to superstar lawyer, Alexis Davis, (my favorite GH character of all time/<a href="http://www.nancyleegrahn.com/" target="_blank">Nancy Lee Grahan</a>). While Julian, a local media mogul, is able to convince the mayor to drop the charges in order to avoid a public scandal, Alexis announces that she and Olivia are now suing <i>her</i> for assault. The mayor clearly provoked Olivia and forced her into leaving through shame and humiliation. She created the issue herself when she berated a woman for feeding her baby, which she is legally allowed to do. And when she realized she had no legal ground to stand on, she had Olivia arrested, because she's the mayor and<i> she </i>felt threatened<i>. </i><br />
<br />
Last week the case went to court. I watched in tears while I nursed my own babies as one side battled for a woman's right to feed her child anytime anywhere and the other actually fought for the public's right to not be exposed to "that kind of stuff." After two breastfeeding women entered the courtroom all hell broke loose and the mayor even went so far as to proclaim that, "What's natural to them is inappropriate and offensive to most others!"<br />
<br />
Ultimately, the judge ruled in favor of Olivia, but not before the
women of Port Charles bared it all for every woman's right to not feel
shame or judgement for feeding their babies. Several women in the crowd tore open their shirts in solidarity with Olivia (which is perfectly legal to do! You don't even need to have a kid on your boob!) It was incredible. <br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6-YcBnbwZljP2BVu-_uMBU5pDUWJr7KXoJVq4DAC1VA_H7SoTK-dlGedg-BpAc19LddfldQkXonkaWHRpPBaLL7sbDWyv2kgw3x0bcPkVpwFLtW0ReijdXbC6lHtjpevYF2KRyOfQfHs/s1600/girlssilly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6-YcBnbwZljP2BVu-_uMBU5pDUWJr7KXoJVq4DAC1VA_H7SoTK-dlGedg-BpAc19LddfldQkXonkaWHRpPBaLL7sbDWyv2kgw3x0bcPkVpwFLtW0ReijdXbC6lHtjpevYF2KRyOfQfHs/s400/girlssilly.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I feel like I should reward some of you for reading a soap opera recap.. So here's a cute pic of my crazy kids.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I have to admit, this means so much to me <i>because</i> I've never breastfed in public. I could blame the fact that they're twins who always want to eat at the same time or because we don't get out much but really it's because I don't feel comfortable doing it. Because I don't like making other people feel uncomfortable, almost to a fault. I care so much about what others are thinking that I'll stay home or excuse myself to another room when my girls are hungry, rather than risk putting someone else out of their comfort zone.<br />
<br />
It's the reason I've never shared a pic of myself breastfeeding. Well, I'll change that now.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigoWd-s_sSV7RJ6J1oQjkaz0H1WiBTvOMbCmIkLoycOPYvS0W5KjP7MKy5flS2nLCOjfalL8YLTUq7mzKyf4ivuFvSNihmp13QlMIKWU4EqDF8r2YmiGpJN7RHN41_86ARIAYr1fgGCdI/s1600/brelfie2.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigoWd-s_sSV7RJ6J1oQjkaz0H1WiBTvOMbCmIkLoycOPYvS0W5KjP7MKy5flS2nLCOjfalL8YLTUq7mzKyf4ivuFvSNihmp13QlMIKWU4EqDF8r2YmiGpJN7RHN41_86ARIAYr1fgGCdI/s640/brelfie2.jpg" width="364" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My first public breastfeeding selfie!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<i>That's why this story matters. </i><b>Because I shouldn't have to feel that way at all</b>. I should feel confident feeding my kids in front of anyone - strangers, my father, my best friend's husband or my landlord, without even a second thought. I shouldn't think twice about sharing a picture of something so natural online. Because they're my kids and they need to eat and that's how they do it. Because it's what I think is best for them. <br />
<br />
But I don't, because I have learned that people aren't comfortable with it and that it's wrong to make people feel bad. Never mind that my kids suffer for it.<br />
<br />
I hate that I care more about what other people think than my kids' needs and I have to wonder, how would I feel if people weren't allowed to berate us for it? No, I can't be arrested, but I can be judged. What if the tables were turned and I could call the cops on you for side-eying me? <br />
<br />
I'm not allowed to walk up to strangers and ask them to stop eating because I don't like the meal they are having. I'd probably get beat up if I told a woman to cover up her earlobes because I found them offensive. And god forbid I ever vocalize my disgust to a mother doing <b><i>anything</i></b> with <b>HER</b> children that I disagree with, unless she was actually hurting them. Sure, I'm legally allowed to do all of those things but I'd be insane to and society would likely shun me.<br />
<br />
And yet people are constantly insulting women who nurse in public. Some times it's with <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mom-seeks-legal-action-after-being-humiliated-for-breastfeeding-on-plane_us_56b4d8cbe4b01d80b2460667" target="_blank">blatant</a> <a href="http://www.people.com/article/breastfeeding-against-policy-cleveland-museum" target="_blank">threats</a> and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UeaPQl8X4g" target="_blank">shame</a>. But more often than not it's simply a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/moms-viral-breastfeeding-photo-shuts-down-shamers_us_565db875e4b08e945fec83aa" target="_blank">look of disgust</a>, a tsk-tsk, a sigh or a huff. Or a <a href="http://www.people.com/article/breastfeeding-mom-responds-stranger-tgi-fridays" target="_blank">rant on social media</a>. Just enough to make the woman know you disapprove but not enough for her to say or do anything about, let alone file a law suit.<br />
<br />
I wonder if, unless you're a breastfeeding mother, it might be hard
to understand why this GH story was so awe-inspiring. Obviously it's a soap opera,
so it's over the top and dramatic. Plus, if it's already the law, who
cares if people complain? They can't stop you and you don't have to listen to it, right? You might even say, just ignore them or walk away, it doesn't
matter since you have rights.<br />
<br />
But it does matter. Especially if you're not a
breastfeeding mother. This story was written because there are still so many people who just don't get it, who continue to perpetuate lies about
breastfeeding or the idea that it should be hidden away, like some
shameful secret. These people who just can't seem to grasp that it's not about sex or nudity or indecency. And it's
not about what makes you comfortable or what you don't want to see. It's
about a mother, feeding her child, the way she was literally born to do. Plain and simple.<br />
<br />
Isn't that something we all want, no matter where or when it happens? Fed babies?<br />
<br />
I've seen people turn a blind eye to abuse of all kinds, to outright racism and hate, to poverty, to the plight of the environment, etc. People can pretend to see past all sorts of terrible things, and yet these same people will go out of their way to berate a mother for feeding her child. How backwards is that?<br />
<br />
I have to wonder how people would react
to if they actually saw it on a regular basis? Breasts being used for their intended purpose and<i> not </i>just
to sell everything under the sun or in porn? I mean, it's not like there are droves of women going out to
dinner and target at the exact moment their child needs to eat. When a
woman does nurse in public, she's not usually doing it just for
fun or even because she wants to. Even my husband admits I'm the only person he's ever actually seen breastfeed. It's not like it's everywhere. But if it was, would people finally just see right past it and stop this crap?<br />
<br />
Whatever happened to, if you don't have anything nice to say then just shut up? Or, even, live and let live?<br />
<br />
Thankfully it seems the tide is turning. We are seeing more stories like
the one on GH and hearing more about people accepting and <a href="http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/1042277/mom-breastfeeds-at-starbucks-employee-stands-up-for-her" target="_blank">standing up for</a> nursing moms everywhere. Multiple <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Mothers-hold-nurse-in-to-protest-SF-7218647.php" target="_blank">"Nurse-ins</a>" are being held in protest after a woman is
shamed by a business or employee. <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/morganshanahan/alyssa-milano-shut-down-wendy-williams-on-her-own-show#.af06Ajb8z" target="_blank">Alyssa Milano stood up for all nursing moms against Wendy Williams</a> on national television. <a href="http://normalizebreastfeeding.org/" target="_blank">#Normalizebreastfeeding</a> is booming. Brelfies (breastfeeding selfies shared on social media) are a thing. It's happening. Women are feeding their babies, regardless of who might see or say something. <br />
<br />
So, bravo, General Hospital for holding nothing back (literally) and helping empower breastfeeding women. I am an incredibly proud fan these days, even if it does make me the ultimate housewife.<br />
<br />
Here's another, more updated, #brelfie, just for good measure.<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
To watch scenes from this epic General Hospital storyline click <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASrof0EsyVQ" target="_blank">here</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33WuFYvvaOc&ebc=ANyPxKqKmIQ5WftcPP0Aq9aMc9lv2kB8X0EXCLvWwoUWVeBhXUp2ZrX7noP0x5k9M_c_TrWqD-dgvmSbVXkNGDS670jwE_VXYQ" target="_blank">here</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wixVBc6VD0k&ebc=ANyPxKpDGraAArRgQkiOJOsciNnJUKuyPw1FXNm_xKkh6qpG9nJwTGb2GNAMBigq1p65xlvErLm0eO2E5GvMZlE48MUKBZEoDQ" target="_blank"> here</a> and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5gUqh9NUh0&ebc=ANyPxKp7P5OyRJKJ5DDSCfs1hN3RDXYARuSU6Vd7cnmYdIbl77fhPmlZQ0f9bGtfGE9dTig3Y0ForuHM9a8oRNZJFZ5r0Y5OxQ" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
<br />
To learn more about breastfeeding in public <a href="http://www.phdinparenting.com/blog/2010/5/14/50-reasons-for-breastfeeding-anytime-anywhere.html" target="_blank">click here</a>.<br />
<br />
If you're a nursing mom and you need to know where you can and should breastfeed check out <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQFqFELTiVY&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">this amazing video</a> by Latched Mama.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
And if you're not a nursing mom but want to support acceptance of public breastfeeding just be a decent human being and keep your opinions and looks to yourself. Have your friends do the same and the world will be a better place.<br />
<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
Maigen<br />
<br />Maigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-41905895033835475282016-03-21T15:42:00.000-04:002016-03-21T16:00:37.844-04:00Twin Toddler Obsessions: Freaking Pentatonix"I have created a monster."<br />
<br />
Many parents said that to me while we tried to figure out how to channel their kid's newest obsession. Obsessions, or fixations, are a natural part of life with toddlers. It's why they throw tantrums over the color of a cup or why you have to read the same book 17 times a day. Sometimes they are innocent, other times they can be dangerous, but they are always totally normal.<br />
<br />
Toddlers are crazy. And what's the definition of crazy? Doing something over and over and expecting different results. In the case of a toddler, though, it's a good crazy since they are learning, exercising their sense of control and it can be a comfort to them. But that doesn't mean it's not annoying as hell for busy parents and caregivers.<br />
<br />
I once cared for a girl who absolutely had to be the one to open and close
any door or cabinet within a 15 food radius. If she saw you close even a drawer she'd start stomping her feet and demand
to do it. I then had to sit and watch her do it over and over
and over until she was ready to move on. It was cute and usually not a big deal but in a room of 12 kids it was not the most
convenient obsession. <br />
<br />
We are in this fun little phase and while it's mostly great, they are learning so much and I love letting them explore, there is one thing I am sooo sick of: Pentatonix. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/PTXofficial" target="_blank">YouTube them</a> if you have no idea what I'm talking about. <br />
<br />
Super random but here's a little backstory:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/PTXofficial" target="_blank">I wrote before</a> how I want to help them develop a love for not just music but singing as well. Music is a big part of our days and I love browsing for good instrumental lists that match the feel of our day or just putting on some RadioDisney for an impromptu dance party. But my favorite thing is to put on songs that I love to sing along to - don't judge me, it's all I have some days! So around Christmas I played all my favorites around the clock including Pentatonix's <a href="http://amzn.to/1LBD4lZ" target="_blank">PTXmas</a> and <a href="http://amzn.to/1pvLeSz" target="_blank">That's Christmas to Me</a> albums. Then one day I discovered I could use YouTube on the TV and found the PTX videos. They were immediately sucked in, more than anything I'd ever put on the TV before, even though it's just people they don't even know standing around and singing.<br />
<br />
And that's the day I signed my life away to a semi-famous acapella group. PTX has played almost non-stop in my house for a good three months and as much as I loved them I now want to cut my own ears off. <br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikjYgJWxGbPU2m_SJCFSf2F0XLsb8L_erUmtixg8p1K54M37Y_6KycFPYqqtmnhBIHHviHzA6TFVoFKphODi_FiRlzMAEXgdjNHuCVTTjKmep1wiJEiiqU-2VqNnuMR0h8VlApiTwAhkg/s1600/20160318_105900.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikjYgJWxGbPU2m_SJCFSf2F0XLsb8L_erUmtixg8p1K54M37Y_6KycFPYqqtmnhBIHHviHzA6TFVoFKphODi_FiRlzMAEXgdjNHuCVTTjKmep1wiJEiiqU-2VqNnuMR0h8VlApiTwAhkg/s400/20160318_105900.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
They can't see my phone or computer or TV without patting their chests and ooooooohing or shouting "SHOES!" at the top of their lungs. Because their most favorite songs are <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o10drRI3VQ0" target="_blank">White Winter Hymnal</a>, a beautiful arrangement of the Fleet Foxes song (which they hate by the way) and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkVeKb2igrg" target="_blank">The Wizard of Ahhhs</a>, a mash-up musical type thing based on the Wizard of Oz by Todrick Hall and Pentatonix. It includes samples of everything from Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Daughtry to Kanye and Motley Crue. It's totally not something I ever thought a kid would be into but they absolutely love it.<br />
<br />
So why are they walking around yelling "Shoes!" you ask? Well aside from their other recent obsession with wearing shoes ALL THE TIME, that's the one part of this video they have glommed on to. Remember in the movie, when the first Wicked Witch dies and Glinda the Good Witch gets those ruby red shoes for Dorothy? This scene is summed up in just the repetition of one word (guess which one) inspired by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCF3ywukQYA" target="_blank">Kelly and her shoes</a>. <i>(Warning: Language! This is not a kid's song! My children do not know this video exists although I'm sure they will someday.)</i> So when they need their fix it's all about the "SHOES!" Also, I guess shoes is probably easier for them to say than Pentatonix.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp3ui5A5Biu5Gma_q-1UDdxzfdQGKMSjDHV8FShWwTRFpBq6IU9jM9PIpxeWwwSM7aeKklcuMVVg6XqihQs6WO3FaESfsYhqza9qt9fD0KywwtNv5Zh1rZeZ8S9OkbpOaau4OCB4EmyuA/s1600/20160318_105958.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp3ui5A5Biu5Gma_q-1UDdxzfdQGKMSjDHV8FShWwTRFpBq6IU9jM9PIpxeWwwSM7aeKklcuMVVg6XqihQs6WO3FaESfsYhqza9qt9fD0KywwtNv5Zh1rZeZ8S9OkbpOaau4OCB4EmyuA/s400/20160318_105958.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SHOES.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I love that they love to dance and hum and ooooh and I'd be lying if I didn't admit to using it as a distraction when I need to pee in peace on a rough day or when they need a pick me up. But this is getting ridiculous. They won't watch regular kids shows (although Mr. Rogers does work sometimes, until they realize his singing isn't exactly up to their standards.) We've tried putting on the music videos of our favorites but they did not share our appreciation for classic rock or country. Now when we try to play something else we just get "the look," some chest patting and "SHOOOOOES!" Usually I just give in and play it once so they're happy and we can move on with our day. <br />
<br />
I'm treating it like I have always dealt with quirky toddler obsessions: embracing and allowing it since it's mostly harmless (to them, I might go insane), setting limits and using it as a chance for them to learn. What are they learning? Well, I'm not exactly sure but maybe they have a future in musical theater? Maybe they'll win a singing competition and be semi-superstars! For now I'm just hoping to catch an adorable video of them dancing and singing along to PTX - hey, maybe we'll go viral! That just might make it worth it, right?<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h2>
What are some of your kids' obsessions or quirks that were tolerable at times but eventually drove you crazy? Share in the comments or let us know on our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/lifeandlovemultiplied/" target="_blank">Facebook page</a>!</h2>
<h2>
</h2>
<h4>
</h4>
<h4>
Xo,</h4>
<h4>
Maigen</h4>
Maigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-55599479598182489162016-03-10T08:00:00.000-05:002016-03-10T08:00:04.516-05:00The Struggle Is So Real - But So Worth ItIt's been a long time.<br />
<br />
The last month has been the longest of my life. I really think it was worse than my last month pregnant with twins and their first month of life.<br />
<br />
The wonderful chaos of toddler twins punched into high gear a few weeks ago and I kind of lost my footing in this here parenting game. Like always, just as I started to feel like I knew what the hell I was doing they decide to switch up the rules and I'm caught totally unprepared and overwhelmed.<br />
<br />
Up until last week they were up to pretty typical toddler stuff - throwing food and eating like birds, testing limits and into absolutely everything. Seriously who thought it was a good idea to put outlets at a baby's eye level? Thank you for making my life just that much more difficult. But then, the cold and boredom of winter started to set in and all of a sudden my babies were miserable. Without a car, leaving the house is not an option when it's only 15 degrees outside. We were all starting to go a little crazy. Luckily I have 32 years of experience channeling that crazy. Toddlers just embrace it in the purest form - it is sheer madness.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlNjMfZfWdhvoPT31zdUofWLOCkpFWda-bmKKb1NFTFwEDSYDox_gx773c9dD5-LJBSqewLvCvz2Fkn7umsUct60aNI9XCvkq0AbP5uLaVqay-CJNl0ZGimDUe0NvprN5wmkRZkStXTf4/s1600/20160306_112209.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlNjMfZfWdhvoPT31zdUofWLOCkpFWda-bmKKb1NFTFwEDSYDox_gx773c9dD5-LJBSqewLvCvz2Fkn7umsUct60aNI9XCvkq0AbP5uLaVqay-CJNl0ZGimDUe0NvprN5wmkRZkStXTf4/s400/20160306_112209.jpg" width="225" /></a>And then, we all got sick. Horrible colds for all of us that ended in double ear infections for them. I spent more time on the couch nursing and snuggling them than I ever have. It was both amazing and exhausting but we survived fine the first few days. Until the sleep regression, possible growth spurt and teething hit (oh hey 2 year molars, you're a bit early!) All of a sudden I had these incredibly willful, but bored, sleep deprived, pained and feverish babies on my hands, all by myself, for a week. R wasn't even here as his Mom just had her baby girl. I am not even going to lie, I almost lost my bits.<br />
<br />
That is not easy for me to admit. Most people probably wouldn't bat an eye but for 19 months I have worked so so hard to change every damn thing I know about effective parenting, all those bad habits and stupid nonsensical tips and tricks that I picked up working in daycares. I'm trying to shed my skin as an old-school authoritarian drill sergeant who yells waaay too much and overuses time out, counting, consequences and lectures. Basically, I want nothing to do with how most people raise their kids or how I spent years raising other people's kids. <br />
<br />
I am changing the very foundation of how I believe children should be treated. It has been a long and arduous process of breaking habits and associations, dealing with my own triggers and experiences as a child and consuming everything I can about how to raise healthy, happy, well-adjusted and kind people.<br />
<br />
I have been challenged and side-eyed by nearly everyone I know, including my husband. Like when Jules grabs a toy out of Viv's hands and instead of shouting "No!" and making her give it back, I simply say, "Viv had the toy and now Jules has it." and wait. Or when I didn't stop them from climbing full staircases at a year old. Or how I will flat out tell you to please refrain from telling my child that she is ok and to stop crying. It's different to many people, hell it was all new to me just a few years ago, but it has worked and it feels right and damn if I don't believe in my heart that it is the best thing I can do for my babies. That we ALL can do for ALL our babies.<br />
<br />
<i>(I will eventually write more about what I believe now but check out Robin Einzig at <a href="https://visiblechild.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Visible Child</a>, Janet Lansbury at <a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/" target="_blank">Elevating Childcare</a>, Sarah Ockwell Smith at <a href="http://www.gentleparenting.co.uk/" target="_blank">Gentle Parenting</a> and the team over at <a href="http://www.respectfulparent.com/" target="_blank">Respectful Parent</a> for now.)</i><br />
<br />
But in the last month, all of my hard work being so patient, engaging and gentle went up in smoke as they tested my very last nerves. I swear they cried and nursed more than they have in the prior 18 months combined. They are demanding, indecisive, frustrated and wild. They hit, me and each other and the cats and my Mom. They scream and run away and fall apart over the color of a cup or a serving of peas. They feed off each other and push every limit I set multiple times an hour. They are killing my desire to be kind to them.<br />
<br />
This month was hard. <i>They</i> were hard. So fucking hard. Every
single thing was a battle. From wiping noses and giving medicine to
going to bed and getting a diaper change. Personal care activities were my own personal hell. They are smart and know what they want and unless I time it
exactly perfectly that shit is not getting done. If you're rolling your
eyes and judging me then gtfo. Or better yet, come try to work your
magic one day. I dare you. Here's the catch: you can't yell at, punish or otherwise try to "train" my kids. Still think you can do it? <br />
<br />
I don't blame you if you think I'm crazy/stupid/a bad mom. Hell if I didn't know better I'd probably be saying the same thing and calling them spoiled, bold or even bad. Three years ago I would have agreed with you, all shaking my head and giving myself a pep talk to get it together and get these little shits in line. I'm the boss here, who do they think they are, right? If I would just <i>make</i> them do it no matter how they feel, no matter what I have to say or do, then they would be good and I'd be a good mom. Even if it was the result of threats and humiliation and isolation and emotional manipulation. Because that's how you don't raise assholes, right? <br />
<br />
Thankfully I do know better now. And instead of turning tail on all I have learned, instead of reverting back to punishments and losing my shit on them, I dug in deeper and recommitted to being a present, gentle and respectful mother. I worried every minute that it was going to backfire, that the naysayers were right, but I kept on the path.<br />
<br />
And finally, when I was feeling the most discouraged after yet another hard morning and yet another lecture about how I need to be "harsh"
and "tough" on them, I came across this in the Visible Child group
on facebook:<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIwKx-cK35qo_Q4ZvvfvkE5sB7c5lvqhTHp8lFs3zwRr2k6bbuepCnv2bYiEC-iCpSJuji7BEP3CDwDHs00Xz2bwUcezfmTUh7uGw-rV_y58KWJ1f6EMHmRdrrSwCj52j2YoD297hRt1Q/s1600/12806152_10208338785688491_8133853591314231944_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIwKx-cK35qo_Q4ZvvfvkE5sB7c5lvqhTHp8lFs3zwRr2k6bbuepCnv2bYiEC-iCpSJuji7BEP3CDwDHs00Xz2bwUcezfmTUh7uGw-rV_y58KWJ1f6EMHmRdrrSwCj52j2YoD297hRt1Q/s400/12806152_10208338785688491_8133853591314231944_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
It completely affirmed the choice I have made to view them as intelligent, capable people worthy of compassion and kindness, rather than the spawn I must beat into obedience.<br />
<br />
It affirmed every battle that I diffused with empathy or avoided with gentle guidance, <br />
<br />
every soul-torturing minute I waited for them to do it rather than rushing in and doing it myself, <br />
<br />
every agonizing tantrum that I acknowledged with kindness while offering support for those big emotions,<br />
<br />
every time I used real words in response to their frustrated screams when they knew exactly what they wanted but just couldn't tell me.<br />
<br />
I just kept shining, even when I felt like I was nearing the end of my rope.<br />
<br />
I stayed committed to showing love, patience, kindness and above all, respect.<br />
<br />
And finally, just today actually, we reached the turning point. It actually paid off and I am so freaking glad it did.<br />
<br />
They are feeling better and sleeping more and it was gorgeous outside and I swear the sun brought us back to life. But the best part of it all? They are talking. So so much. All of a sudden they know words and things and can talk to us! Not only that but they are actually hearing and understanding us now! I know we're a little late the party by typical standards but I have tried so hard not to force them to communicate and I'm so freaking excited I could not care less how "delayed" it may be.<br />
<br />
We actually went for a walk - as in they walked and held my hands when I asked them to. Granted it was only to the neighbors but if you'd told me a week ago we'd be doing that I'd have laughed in your face. They are being silly and playful again. Not only do they feel good but something has changed and they are so aware now, it's incredible. They bridged the gap and opened up a whole new wonderful world. For the first time in their lives we are finally speaking the same language.<br />
<br />
This I can handle. Contrary to most people I actually think 2 year olds are less challenging than babies and young toddlers (dear god I pray that is the case here but I know it's not likely given our track record.) Either way, for the first time since getting pregnant I find myself in pretty familiar territory as they've gone from babbling, erratic babies (I am so not a baby person) to
talking, intelligent toddlers.<br />
<br />
I am in my element and so ready to embrace this wonder-filled time of their lives. And the best part is that I am finally confident in my ability to parent effectively without aggression, shame, unnecessary/arbitrary consequences and punishment. Because, would you look at that, despite the hardships and the side-eyes of others, we're all thriving.<br />
<br />
No, we're shining. Here are some pics to prove it.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-c3zLjwwq5jNOCENakQFqXVwEbUIyGFCsowzRAVGojxf3DPSU1v_g26Q4_t7AVyLprO1eQy0HV53q7jI43awgDLvug2UJDl5ew8iYOTpyLViH4MY9uHUuivm6bfIxiIh3Cpa5JqHktrY/s1600/stillaliveshining30916.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="510" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-c3zLjwwq5jNOCENakQFqXVwEbUIyGFCsowzRAVGojxf3DPSU1v_g26Q4_t7AVyLprO1eQy0HV53q7jI43awgDLvug2UJDl5ew8iYOTpyLViH4MY9uHUuivm6bfIxiIh3Cpa5JqHktrY/s640/stillaliveshining30916.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlNjMfZfWdhvoPT31zdUofWLOCkpFWda-bmKKb1NFTFwEDSYDox_gx773c9dD5-LJBSqewLvCvz2Fkn7umsUct60aNI9XCvkq0AbP5uLaVqay-CJNl0ZGimDUe0NvprN5wmkRZkStXTf4/s1600/20160306_112209.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a>
<br />
Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-6276427594257049672016-02-07T21:42:00.002-05:002016-02-07T22:18:16.729-05:00Keeping Traditions Alive: Our First Sick BowlHappy Superbowl Sunday! We don't really watch football anymore since cutting out cable but we're using our antenna to get the game because what else are you going to do after a dreadful sick-filled Sunday? Also, did you happen to catch a Giants game this season? From what I hear, I'm kind of glad we missed them.<br />
<br />
Anyway, while I'm battling a super fun cold and pretty much down for the count (thankfully I can still type!) we also fought another nasty little war today: toddler puke. Clearly I won't go into too much detail but suffice to say we got to initiate the family tradition (at least in mine) of quickly choosing the best receptacle to contain the worst mess ever (seriously it's like toddlers try to get it everywhere). We designated it forever more <b>the sick bowl</b> before cleaning and sanitizing it and hiding it under the sink for the next use. Which will hopefully not be for a very long time. Although I have a sinking feeling it will be sooner.<br />
<br />
Yes, we keep our sick bowls. If you don't then good for you but bad for your food storage since you obviously cannot reuse it after for anything else other than sick! Mine growing up was a nice, deep, green tupperware container. Tonight we
opted for the wide but shallow popcorn bowl. RIP popcorn bowl. Dad chose wisely since we
never use it anymore and it served it's job well and will hopefully last
us a while.<br />
<br />
Ugh, ok I'm grossing myself out now.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizbblH48D1GoNl90dEclLUvLYrIEyH-40_4oCZX9FizOE6C-rtu2xuL4NzELXYOUszLv2MjY8sUaQDyWOHIrjVojZHNoBq_C4ttmCnYcA1dq7pfSx7rj7SQi6tS-3J2GVbv5sgztcYgfA/s1600/dadbabiessickday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizbblH48D1GoNl90dEclLUvLYrIEyH-40_4oCZX9FizOE6C-rtu2xuL4NzELXYOUszLv2MjY8sUaQDyWOHIrjVojZHNoBq_C4ttmCnYcA1dq7pfSx7rj7SQi6tS-3J2GVbv5sgztcYgfA/s640/dadbabiessickday.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can just tell it's been a fun day. CJ is a champ though, I even got a nap in!<!--3--></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
But my poor Viv. It might be post nasal drip or a bug or it might be a side effect of the vaccinations she received on Friday. She hasn't kept much down all day. If it continues after 24 hours I'll call the Dr. but she's otherwise fine so I'm not worried.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile we are scarred for life after our first and second bouts with this freaking mess. I am absolutely dreading her being sick in the mega-crib tonight since we'll have to get them both up, clean everything and and I'll nurse them before trying to lay them back down. They will likely end up in a pack and play or my bed tonight so I can clean while they go back to sleep. And I know it'll be an hour long process at least. We've never really dealt with truly sick babies in our last 18 months so I'm scared! But hey, at least we'll get to cross a few new parenting experiences off our list in one day. Bright side, right?<br />
<br />
In other news, they finally broke 20 lbs! And at about 31.5 inches each they're officially on the growth curve for the first time in their lives. The Doctor is super happy with their size and says they seem healthy - since she could barely get close enough to look at them. Apparently no amount of gentle talking to and reminders or role-playing will prepare an 18 month old for the Doctor. They lost their damn minds as soon as they spotted the stethoscope. I'm pretty sure Jules' traumatic experiences trigger her and Viv just goes along for the ride. I'm praying the next visit is better otherwise I worry our lovely nurses and PA, JoAnn, won't let us back!<br />
<br />
Keep us in your thoughts tonight since I seriously need a good night sleep to feel better myself and send healing vibes so my girl feels better too!<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-36535505387506908182016-02-05T08:09:00.000-05:002016-02-05T08:34:28.181-05:00Making Peace With The Regret<br />
It's going to be quite the exciting few weeks around here. We have lots of big changes coming this Spring with new babies! My sister is due in just a few weeks with our little man and my best friend is due mid-March with her first baby girl. I am over the moon for them and so looking forward to all the newborn snuggles and cuteness to come.<br />
<br />
My brain is being all logical and <a href="http://www.lifeandlovemultiplied.com/2015/05/on-having-just-one-more.html" target="_blank">I know I do NOT want another baby</a>, I know, I know, I know, but my heart is like, waaah, don't you want to have another baby? No, I do not have baby fever. I have... labor fever? Normal pregnancy fever? I don't know what you would call it, but I'm wishing there was a way that I could just carry and deliver my own baby without having to actually raise and pay for another child. God, that sounds awful. Hear me out ok?<br />
<br />
Exactly two years ago this week I was forced to reconsider everything I thought I knew about pregnancy and childbirth. I had to make decisions about things that I never envisioned myself having to even think about. For someone who likes to be prepared and have things organized and planned out due to potentially debilitating anxiety, this was
obviously the worst thing ever. Worse yet, all the things I knew I wanted and all my knowledge of how to have a safe, natural, hell, even just normal a childbirth experience, were no longer in my best interest. Essentially, I would have to change everything or risk losing what I now knew was not just a baby but identical twins.<br />
<br />
I don't think I need to tell you how much that sucked.<br />
<br />
I planned my perfect pregnancy and birth years before we were even married. I have Ricki Lake to thank for a lot of it, thanks to her film The Business of Being Born. I'm still so grateful for the perspective that movie gave me. It challenged everything I knew about giving birth in America and helped me make informed choices as I began learning so much about real child birth and what we are capable of. Today, I am proud of the choices I would have made but heartbroken that I may never get to use them.<br />
<br />
After getting that big fat positive I called my midwives to schedule our first appointment and started planning and researching my baby's birthday. I felt in control, ready to face this challenge and reap the benefits of one of the most natural and amazing experiences a human can have. <br />
<br />
Three weeks later we met with the home birth midwives from HeartSpace Midwifery and decided that I would have a home birth as long as everything looked great on the ultrasound the following week. I started looking into tips and tricks, working on getting CJ more comfortable with letting me put a birthing pool in the living room. I would use hypno-birth techniques and water and be ready to deliver whenever baby was ready. I would feel every contraction and
try to embrace the insanity, all hopefully in the comfort of my home
with my husband, a doula and my midwife there to welcome our little
love. We would do delayed cord-clamping and immediate skin-to-skin. We
would slowly begin nursing and cloth diapering and spend a few days just
bonding before anyone else got too close. I had back-up plans, including two hospitals within five minutes of my house, but I wasn't worried. I was ready to do this.<br />
<br />
I saw my original midwives for the ultrasound a week later. We were in there for all of two minutes when that home birth plan dissolved right before my eyes. Yeah, there was no way in hell was I going to deliver twins at home. Sure some people do it. <a href="http://offbeathome.com/2012/05/surprise-twin-roadside-vbac" target="_blank">Some people also deliver them spontaneously on the side of the road</a> (identicals at that), but I couldn't do it. I wasn't willing to take the risk.<br />
<br />
While adjusting to the news that we were having two we also settled on Delivery Plan B: our amazing midwife would deliver them at the local birthing center and I could still labor in the water and would have complete control and minimal intervention as long as everything went well. They were prepared for everything, there was no need to worry. I was referred to a Maternal Fetal Monitoring Specialist just because they were twins but otherwise I had no indication that my plans would change yet again.<br />
<br />
A week later we were in Dr. Margono's office when he basically laid it all out there and crushed my hopes and dreams. I know, I'm being melodramatic, but to this day I still feel like this one man, amazing and wonderful as he was, created my birth plan for me and I was to stick to it or suffer the potential consequences. It wasn't really him though - it was the identical twins. My babies, the ones for which I would already do anything, at just 10 weeks pregnant, changed everything on me just because they shared a placenta.<br />
<br />
After an intense and seemingly hours long ultrasound, Dr. M. explained exactly how the next 7 months of my life would go, right up through the birth of my children:<br />
<br />
- I would have bi-weekly ultrasounds starting at 16 weeks - these scans included extensive anatomy, growth and fluid screenings to <a href="http://twiniversity.com/2015/09/proper-care-for-your-identical-twin-pregnancy/" target="_blank">monitor for complications</a> such as TTTS, TAPS and sIUGR.<br />
<br />
- I would be changing my doctor because my midwife did not have privileges at a hospital with at least a Level II NICU<br />
<br />
- I would deliver at 35 weeks no matter what. Whether I was induced or had a scheduled c-section was my choice (yay!) but Dr. Margono, as well as my new OB, believed it was in my best interest to deliver at 35 weeks. Current recommendations are that identical twins deliver by 36.6 weeks.<br />
<br />
I never felt so weird in my life. I'm really lacking in my descriptive words right now but this experience is still so surreal to me, it's hard to explain. A forced hospital birth? Just like that!? Inducing FIVE weeks early? What the what? Possible NICU time? Really?! What the hell man? And here I thought having two babies was going to be fun!<br />
<br />
I kid. I never thought that. But I won't lie and say I wasn't kind of psyched at the prospect of taking my carefully crafted birth plan and throwing a second baby into it just for fun. But that just wasn't meant to be.<br />
<br />
I tried to roll with the punches but I very much did not want my babies to be induced at 35 weeks. I regret that choice and not a day goes by that I don't wonder what if? But everything I had learned after years of research told me that it wasn't right. I didn't want to put my body, or my babies, through that. Selective induction was something I was absolutely against from the get-go and avoidance of it was an integral part of my birth plan.<br />
<br />
I wanted this experience in a way that was best for both my babies and my body. Of course, I can make a case for inducing when you're way overdue, but I just cannot jive with the idea of forcing something like the birth of a child who, by all medical standards these days, clearly isn't ready.<br />
<br />
Then I had to consider what would happen if there was a complication due to the interventions. I know that complications can happen with any labor but they are more common with inductions. What if I needed to have a double-whammy? The prospect of recovering from both types of birth with newborn twins was not something I was prepared to face. I regret it now, but back then, I let the fear of loss get to me. Whether it was because I forced them to come too early or because I let them stay in too long, I was taking a risk with their lives. And I wasn't prepared to do that. If they were to be evicted five weeks early I wanted it to be as quick and painless for all of us. I just wanted them here.<br />
<br />
So, naturally, like I do with all hugely important decisions in my life, I hastily decided on a scheduled c-section and booked it practically that day. At 10 weeks pregnant I knew I'd become a mother by 3pm on July 30th.<br />
<br />
All went according to plan, we had "healthy" 35 weekers who needed <i>only </i>two weeks in the NICU.<br />
<br />
This is where the regret comes in. <br />
<br />
I didn't get to hold my girls until they were hours old. And even then they were attached to tubes, too fragile to nurse and so small I thought I'd break them. I wasn't relaxed and bonding, the private moments of just me and my family were few and far between. We didn't even do skin-to-skin or hold the babies together until three days later. And then, on top of it all, I went home without them.<br />
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<br />
Not a day goes by that I don't wonder what would have happened if I had tried. How different it would have gone. Would it have been better or worse?<br />
<br />
I wish I hadn't let the fears and what-ifs change all the things that I knew.<br />
<br />
I wish I had fought harder to keep them in longer, especially knowing what the general recommendation is for mono-di twins.<br />
<br />
I wish I had at least gone into labor, even if it was an induction.<br />
<br />
I wish I had felt just one contraction.<br />
<br />
I wish I hadn't been strapped down to a table the first time I met my daughters.<br />
<br />
I wish I would have trusted myself and my body enough, rather than just giving into the very same modern medicine that I had spent years cultivating a plan to avoid.<br />
<br />
I wanted my babies here and safe and this was how it was done. That's the only peace I get from this. And I guess at the end of the day that's what makes me a good mother. From that day back in February 2014 I sacrificed myself for them - to ensure that they crossed this bridge in the safest way possible, even if it went against everything I ever thought was best. They are alive and mine, no matter how they got here.<br />
<br />
My one hope is that I can take my knowledge and empower other women, like my best friend and my sister, or other identical twin moms. I want them to know they can be comfortable and confident in their choices and that they are capable of doing this in whatever way they see fit, no matter how terrifying it is and no matter what choices they make.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I just really wish I knew what the hell I was talking about.<br />
<br />
I'm thinking tonight isn't about making peace after all, since I feel worse now than I did before. I could take solace in the not-so-great reminder that at least I have two healthy babies, but that does little to calm my desire to give birth the way I always wanted to. So for now I just have to push all of that to the furthest part of my mind and enjoy what I have since we are absolutely not having another one any time soon.<br />
<br />
Maybe.<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-3126987245277647752016-01-29T16:34:00.003-05:002016-03-18T10:40:59.302-04:00Five Things That Save My Sanity as a Twin MomI've been meaning to write some sort of "must-haves" list for the first year of twin parenting since they turned one, (oh ya know, six months ago...) But every time I sit down to write it I realize something: this list looks really familiar. Because it's just like all those other parenting must-have lists. You already know the things you really need to feed, change and play with your kids, you don't need me to tell you again. So I started thinking outside the box - things that seriously save my sanity but that I've never seen on a list before. So I guess instead of a must-have list it's more of a hey-if-you-thnk-it-might-work-try-it list to help you keep <i>your</i> sanity.<br />
<br />
<h4>
1. A climber/play structure in the playroom (or in our case, the dining room)</h4>
<br />
I never really planned on having to squeeze by a slide on my way to bed every night but I also didn't plan on having twins who would age into insane toddlers in the middle of winter. Before they were even a year old I knew I'd need something to help them burn that energy and work out their new skills. I looked at a ton of options but ultimately we put <a href="http://amzn.to/1SiiQxL" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the Step 2 Play Ball Fun Climber</a> on our amazon wishlist because it was small but had stairs, a slide, a chill spot above and below and a cool ball drop thingie. My awesome Dad gifted it to them for their birthday and we set it up a few weeks later. It is a lifesaver.<br />
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<br />
Because, what is every toddler's favorite thing to do, besides turn your world upside down? Climb, of course! Climb and explore all of the things! So what do we do when they're climbing on the couch/chairs/TV stand/each other? "Hey! Let's go on the climber!"<br />
<br />
So far, it works every time. I walk over and they follow me and get to work going up and down over and over, crawling underneath, just hanging out reading a book or kicking their legs off the side, or dropping balls down the tubes. Now they love to push it around and slide down into different parts of the room (or just trap each other in places.) They even mastered climbing up the slide before learning how to walk which was really cool to see. While it won't last long-term on it's own (hello, we definitely need a jungle gym or something like that) I love that it is (relatively) small, considering the 800 sq. ft. apartment we live in so it is a perfect indoor option. <br />
<br />
<h4>
2. My iPod and a $20 cat docking station </h4>
<br />
I actually almost threw my ipod away a while back. It was glitchy and I hate earbuds and my dock had died so it just sat in a drawer. Then I was registering for the girls and looking into sound machines and couldn't find one I loved so I thought about a CD player but who even buys CDs anymore? I know I don't have any from the last 10 years. So I'd have to burn them... is that a thing even still? And then I remembered old faithful, who was already chock full of lullabies and our amazing irish relaxation music from daycare days. Perfect.<br />
<br />
I picked up a cheap speaker at rite aid while they were in the NICU and had it ready to go in our room when they got home. When they were newborns we added some white noise and the womb sounds to it and I swear to you it was a miracle worker. We moved it from room to room and often had it blasting in the living room just to cover all our bases on wherever babies might fall asleep. I know entirely too much about what it sounded like in my mom's belly now.<br />
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<br />
I used the cheap speaker for 3 months but it was a PITA since I had to keep charging both of them and it had this awesome trick where the sound would just cut out at the WORST moment and come back on at the highest volume - that was so fun! Then we got this adorable <a href="http://amzn.to/1SiiWW3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">cat</a> one (affiliate but it's out of stock which is sad because you definitely need it) from my Aunt and it's been on 12 hours straight, every night for over 16 months and hasn't failed us yet! It'll die tonight though, because that's my life.<br />
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<h4>
3. Place-mats in the High Chairs </h4>
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My genius/mild neat-freak of a husband came up with this one. After only two or three real baby-led meals we realized that those freaking high chair covers are a joke. First, they do little to actually contain the food so you end up having to take them off anyway and they're a pain to clean themselves. Who actually has time to wash and dry them between every meal?<br />
<br />
While the mess rarely bothered me, it drove CJ insane. We ditched the covers after a few weeks of frustration but then found that the chairs themselves were so full of food that it was even harder to clean. So while we got used to feeding and cleaning two very messy babies, we now had the added fun of full-blown dumping and wiping down two high chairs after every meal. No way, man, there had to be a better way.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOtPKxuCS3Gntvx8VFW2Jxn4xdZebdZphlPyyAqCYe3CfQm2mDA30qWTTAfdWW9syqRvLt9SVaKIaSeXjM1YgssfcN-aGGH3cPy5vpl61XtSo2avpSTWgu8kfwdO0zwwYSjsBlPU-u4_4/s1600/sanitysaversplacemats.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="404" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOtPKxuCS3Gntvx8VFW2Jxn4xdZebdZphlPyyAqCYe3CfQm2mDA30qWTTAfdWW9syqRvLt9SVaKIaSeXjM1YgssfcN-aGGH3cPy5vpl61XtSo2avpSTWgu8kfwdO0zwwYSjsBlPU-u4_4/s640/sanitysaversplacemats.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Macaroni, beans and peas got nothin' on us!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Then CJ found a crap ton of these cloth placemats that I bought at yard sales or that were "passed down" to us that we have actually never used. Life changing, I kid you not. We tuck them in between the two parts of our spacesaver high chair (where the booster seat part is) so they don't move and they catch everything! After meals they are easy to remove and clean, we just empty them over the garbage and toss them in the wash. The chairs themselves rarely need cleaning more than wipe down and the covers are still pristine since we never use them. We store the mats in the kitchen and put a new one down every morning or whenever they get really messy (hello, pasta night!) Amazing!<br />
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<h4>
4. The XBox/Amazon FireStick/Roku/Whatever else you have! </h4>
<br />
We cut the cable cord years ago and relied on our Xbox for any shows via hulu or netflix. While we don't usually watch a ton of TV, I would not have survived the last year without the Xbox. It is so much more than just TV (although the $7.99/month hulu subscription also helps so I can keep up my Grey's Anatomy and General Hospital habits.) We recently picked up the Amazon Fire Stick and it's even better than the Xbox - no more lagging or buffering and we don't have to keep that thing running when we just want to have music on.<br />
<br />
During the day I use it for music with Pandora or iHeartRadio and unlike using my phone (even with a speaker) the sound can be heard all over the house without being deafening. Netflix has these amazing moving art films with gorgeous scenery and music that they just love (many thanks to Stephanie over at <a href="https://doublecrunch.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Double Crunch</a> for making that suggestion months ago in our twin due date group!)<br />
<br />
Recently, I've started playing Pentatonix and Janet Lansbury videos on YouTube and the girls are obsessed. We have dance parties and they ask for White Winter Hymnal by patting their chests and I'll put some Janet on while changing their diapers (one of our biggest battlegrounds) and instead of fighting or running away they chill right out, watching the babies play and listening to her incredibly soothing voice. And I get a refresher on respectful parenting during one of our most stressful times.<br />
<br />
I could be so wrong but I feel like I'm helping them develop a positive relationship with the TV itself, since they don't associate it with just watching a show and tuning out. Sometimes it's on all day long but it's not just noise and lights to distract them, it's music to play by or interesting images to look at, things that are meaningful and thoughtful, at least I hope they are on some level.<br />
<br />
I'm just so glad there is so much more out there than just Disney Channel or Nickelodeon and that we get to access it like this. Plus, the internet has everything so we got to learn all about David Bowie and Professor Snape in honor of their passing a few weeks ago. Win win for everyone!<br />
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<h4>
5. The Mega Crib</h4>
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<br />
Ok, sorry for the super twin specific last one but it's gotta be one of my favorites of all time. The Mega Crib is amazing! And all you need are two cribs and some zip ties.<br />
<br />
Going way back, my girls never slept together. Well, ok, that's not really true, a few times I put them in the same crib for a nap but they <i>always</i> woke up too early. Oh and for 4 months we all shared a bed for half the night, but they were on either side of me so that doesn't really count. They always had separate everything and their cribs (that are solid, not slats, on the ends) were kiddie-corner so they couldn't even really see each other when they were in their room.<br />
<br />
When they were about 11 months old I was watching on the camera one night and I realized they were looking for and reaching through the slats trying to reach each other. It broke my heart and we put them side-by-side the next day. Then a few months later they started holding hands through the slats, or stealing each others books or blankets. And then they started pulling hair or hitting to wake the other one up. We took a risk but decided to tear down that wall - and they sleep so freaking well.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK3HGkEIojLOk0QLBiHUjlGrI0XjNPpi7VjKb7uhgIUG-zwOsw4TVzY4RVOBdd96i_38DrugnleJy8hsQleE-ftRp4kJJfoUzk2-JOfhicJthHCwJ3Gl1XIfL1SbKnzoUcztfoOmdfWHA/s1600/sanitysaversmegacrib.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK3HGkEIojLOk0QLBiHUjlGrI0XjNPpi7VjKb7uhgIUG-zwOsw4TVzY4RVOBdd96i_38DrugnleJy8hsQleE-ftRp4kJJfoUzk2-JOfhicJthHCwJ3Gl1XIfL1SbKnzoUcztfoOmdfWHA/s640/sanitysaversmegacrib.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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They play and chit-chat until they fall asleep, roll all over each other while getting comfortable and then fall asleep, only sometimes snuggling, but almost always touching. When they wake up in the middle of the night they will cry out but sometimes before I can even consider going in they roll over and find their sister and fall back asleep. <b>Best. thing. ever.</b><br />
<br />
Oh and <b>bonus</b> <b>number 6, </b>one<b> </b>that is truly specific to our family: <b>My trusty tote bin</b> from Wal-Mart that I am so grateful to have simply for the ability to <a href="http://www.lifeandlovemultiplied.com/2015/11/bath-time-with-twins-without-bath-tub.html" target="_blank">bathe my kids semi-easily</a> in my bathtub-less house. Definitely not a must-have for everyone but it is for us!<br />
<br />
All of my lists have had some super random items and have definitely been unique to me but I like to think I'm helping at least one parent save their sanity. So please let me know if any of these have ever worked for you!<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-4257420385844037382016-01-21T00:14:00.004-05:002016-01-21T07:45:51.108-05:00*Insert Random Curse Word Here*We Have Twin Toddlers. And It's Insane.We are in the midst of toddlerhood times two here in the B
household and I am definitely feeling the affects of this major life shift. I always said I was
dreading the days when they learned how to walk and now if you spend just
five minutes here you will know why. We are but peasants to two tiny
tyrants who, sweet and adorable as they are, have discovered they have
real live wants and needs and feelings and words and the need to explore
and express these things at all times at about 100 miles per hour.<br />
<br />
It's
insane. Sometimes I just sit back and look around at the books and
blocks strewn about, the scooters half upside down and the climber that's been shoved across the room while I listen to them alternate between fighting, chattering and running. All I can think is - I used to handle a whole mess of kids ranging in age from 6 weeks to 12 years at one time and YOU GUYS got me beat? How? I know it's because they're mine but I'll be damned if the twin thing doesn't have something to do with it. Even when I had two or three two year olds at one time I don't ever recall it being this bad. They're practically on top of each other half the time and for no reason (that I can see) other than that they're twinsters.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn8ZMff7J4_SC2zm8oD6wd7m_qD89ZDsF-yVXooH_V41ii3Ce1Yzdn9MupYt4q1FFNMKsuxXiipPVUxoMVsik4A3ii9ekBeF2oVvskzxdCzSHIjUKihF2tw1YgzukY5aHjb39PqiZDQ14/s1600/20160117_175059.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn8ZMff7J4_SC2zm8oD6wd7m_qD89ZDsF-yVXooH_V41ii3Ce1Yzdn9MupYt4q1FFNMKsuxXiipPVUxoMVsik4A3ii9ekBeF2oVvskzxdCzSHIjUKihF2tw1YgzukY5aHjb39PqiZDQ14/s640/20160117_175059.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Although it's sometimes so cute.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
They've started this lovely little game of fighting over absolutely everything. It's an even better version of siblings arguing because I don't have the benefit of an older kid who actually understands consequences and <i>might</i> back down (although I guess they often make the whole thing worse). I hate every single object that doesn't have multiple parts of the same color or that we don't have two of. I think things daily like: "Do you really <i>HAVE</i> to be on the slide the second your sister climbed up there when you haven't even LOOKED at it in two days?!" or "Seriously. There are 37 books on that shelf and you both have to have the owl one right now!?" It's like a perpetual play date except when they fight I can't just second one home.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrzdqIWAIOq4Zpwm4mdYaZ9LObIcpR91uND4TZOkNXHJmClvZoqTeku2vPkBT-CIBWlK9LvOPKtgY32IiRZj6uWiTnnxWGzp4ULKydq82tVO45Zpne_GU6-4Z6dJto-87NN95QmTtYXAs/s1600/20160116_105346.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrzdqIWAIOq4Zpwm4mdYaZ9LObIcpR91uND4TZOkNXHJmClvZoqTeku2vPkBT-CIBWlK9LvOPKtgY32IiRZj6uWiTnnxWGzp4ULKydq82tVO45Zpne_GU6-4Z6dJto-87NN95QmTtYXAs/s640/20160116_105346.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't do it! Noooo!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Obviously I know <i>why</i> my life has been turned upside down. I get it all, the blah-di-blah developmental psycho-emotional stuff but that knowledge does not make this any easier. I still want to rip my hair out sometimes, like when I'm chasing one down the hall trying to get her shoes on while the other one is sitting by the door, ready to go 2 seconds ago, taking off her hat, mittens and shoes that I just got on. Thank god they can't unzip their coats yet. Oh, and the grabbing. We can't even go to the supermarket anymore because it's like I have an octopus in my cart and I'm terrified of that one loose jar of spaghetti sauce crashing to the floor. I still loooove my buggy bench but I'm hoping to try one of those car carts out next time I get the whim to grocery shop with them instead of taking my time all alone at 7pm on a Tuesday night while Daddy does bedtime.<br />
<br />
Still, that knowledge that they are in the throes of coming alive and literally can't help themselves and where it all comes from is helping me do everything I can to facilitate and nurture ALL of us. While my patience sometimes wears thin I've got a pretty good handle on getting some chill time when I need it. Thankfully, they rock at playing alone right now - which isn't exactly true since neither one has been without the other for more than a few hours in 18 months. So, I guess they play well with others already? Either way I get a good chunk of time in the day that I don't have to be on top of them. It's far from "me" time since I'm usually cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, washing diapers or dishes but at least I can get some of that done.<br />
<br />
But then, inevitably and ever the bane of my existence, the guilt sets in. As I watch them play or break up another battle or feel one run up to me with a big hug, I catch myself, no matter what I'm doing, and remember: I have twin toddlers. And I worry about all the things.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifyUwKwPMy7GADcg9B3EOD4EbG77vT-RPAiYoXtMboLctwW0tZkEZgKvKQn7YQ8kSJFws3NofWY7Im1bx4uDqRGQJMv6gA-Dq8ddVpT_48ry7pvTYfayBwv5Qf__OHqqQfYpiODkHG7R0/s1600/20160117_175435.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifyUwKwPMy7GADcg9B3EOD4EbG77vT-RPAiYoXtMboLctwW0tZkEZgKvKQn7YQ8kSJFws3NofWY7Im1bx4uDqRGQJMv6gA-Dq8ddVpT_48ry7pvTYfayBwv5Qf__OHqqQfYpiODkHG7R0/s640/20160117_175435.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No one does a worry face better than me, except Viv.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
That I'm not talking to them or interacting with them enough. Never mind that I talk too much as it is and they already have each other. Although neither one is really talking yet, so they just repeat each other (all the time. in stereo: "cat, <i>cat</i>, cat, <i>cat</i>, <i>ball</i>, ball, <i>ball</i>, ma, <b>ma</b>, ma, <i><b>ma</b></i>.".) Or that I'm not being playful enough in one day or that I'm on my phone too much. Like I don't spend every waking moment thinking about, planning for and cleaning up after all of us on top of the countless time we play. And Daddy is amazing at playing - he gets them going so fast and laughing so hard!<br />
<br />
Thanks to this guilt, I used to drop everything and go and try to get an activity started or talk to them or do something to make us all feel more connected and although they used to light up and crawl on me for a snuggle, now they will shoot me a cheese face and go back to their business. I've finally learned how to peek in but not interrupt, I just watch and touch base when they're ready. It's great and they clearly enjoy their time alone/together. You'd think that would be enough for me to lose the self-loathing crap but I'm starting to learn that just comes with the new mom gig.<br />
<br />
Because now I stress that they aren't attached <i>to me enough</i> because they don't care that I'm<i> not</i> there all the time. No worries though, we recently hit the awesomely amazing separation anxiety phase and I want to jump off a bridge sometimes. My minutes to myself have all but vanished and everyone we know is now a perfect stranger requiring 20 minutes of screaming upon arrival. <br />
<br />
Like I said, it's all insane.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7KGBgGLkCQE45RyqJyIjPK_KgHu6toghQepO48aLS0LjlDJkl0-8dlRgLYOcuxIUYwZ_WLmGaKQxK1RIXaKDU23r4bWqT3lNecSIDWZmG_F0Kjk1hUTm1XrD8-1CMAOHl2WddCVsuseM/s1600/20160113_105113.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7KGBgGLkCQE45RyqJyIjPK_KgHu6toghQepO48aLS0LjlDJkl0-8dlRgLYOcuxIUYwZ_WLmGaKQxK1RIXaKDU23r4bWqT3lNecSIDWZmG_F0Kjk1hUTm1XrD8-1CMAOHl2WddCVsuseM/s640/20160113_105113.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
There's lots of Let It Go singing (by me, they can't sing yet) and I am seriously <b>so</b>
grateful for my depth of knowledge in the fine arts of playroom
organization, kid's songs and mid-run diaper changes. There are days
when I don't know how anyone who has ever worked with a toddler before
would willingly choose to have a baby knowing it becomes one. Are we
all crazy? <br />
<br />
No, because as hard as it is, it is so much fun! Toddlers are silly. And capable of SO much compared to their babyselves. And toddler <i>twins</i> rock even more because they have each other. I read a listicle once that said that was one of the best parts of twins was that built in playmate and although sometimes I am ready to lose it with the fighting I have to say it's a huge perk.They are weighing options and making choices rather than acting on straight up raw emotionally fueled impulses all the time. Because half the time that ish gets shut down by their mirror image and they realize, oh hey, I'm not totally the center of the universe - at least, I have to share it with someone else.<br />
<br />
It's cool because they don't have a choice - nobody is going anywhere, remember? So they're figuring out what works and what makes their lives harder and I get to watch it all unfold. They don't give a crap what makes my life harder yet though and I don't foresee that changing. Ever. But damn if they don't make me laugh so hard every day.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAD0WnREgypd0oQYGMnNjQiTIT1YO6nmIWA9dCKicVgI1WCeNWGBYXwUDDt_6rkael1Tqqr3YtOoE2zy0zqCbUsglCCvM9fdUm_KeGgg8vSo6iF29D0H9yuSmoXDe7L7syJtRU832Sw8g/s1600/20160108_101742.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAD0WnREgypd0oQYGMnNjQiTIT1YO6nmIWA9dCKicVgI1WCeNWGBYXwUDDt_6rkael1Tqqr3YtOoE2zy0zqCbUsglCCvM9fdUm_KeGgg8vSo6iF29D0H9yuSmoXDe7L7syJtRU832Sw8g/s640/20160108_101742.jpg" width="640" /></a> <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How long do you think we lasted before there were beans and pasta everywhere? A shocking 13 minutes!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
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I don't know when I'll feel comfortable taking them somewhere where they could run away by myself and it's too damn cold to go outside but luckily we've got a fresh stock of books, art and exploration supplies and an upgraded playroom (complete with a huge empty box that I cant bare to throw out because they are obsessed.) Now if I could just get them to put things away when they're done playing with them ... ha!<br />
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<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZFegsfg7B24sFacTVpziFkDhA2NXzatj1wcWWROLmAKFFCI_pzxKHRs-AN0GdeNHwAZ3-Csm9TUvLWiUml0wSvc0AhXmoFYBRFlFIMLP9GcygkvcPVcUH-h7mMyy3EQNQqBPQtzkyBpM/s1600/20160105_155144.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZFegsfg7B24sFacTVpziFkDhA2NXzatj1wcWWROLmAKFFCI_pzxKHRs-AN0GdeNHwAZ3-Csm9TUvLWiUml0wSvc0AhXmoFYBRFlFIMLP9GcygkvcPVcUH-h7mMyy3EQNQqBPQtzkyBpM/s640/20160105_155144.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
I hope you all out in the real world are doing awesome. My Bff who is 8+ months pregnant broke her hand tonight so please send her happy and wonderful vibes! Don't forget about me as I trail off into the vast new world of twin toddlerdom. If you wish to reach out, please send me messages and chocolate and wine.<br />
<br />
Actually, just send wine.<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-38256085973240285202016-01-05T23:46:00.002-05:002016-01-07T07:58:25.073-05:00Oh goody, another thing to feel guilty about! Or not.I was scrolling through facebook earlier and saw an adorable picture posted in one of my twin groups of a Dad feeding his baby boys. They were probably a month or two old and he had them laying in front of him on a boppy pillow, holding the bottles in one hand and his phone in the other. It made me laugh because it was so familiar. It was exactly how we spent the first months of our girls' lives - every 2-3 hours of every day. Aside from the fact that when it was me I was attached to a pump as well.<br />
<br />
Like always I had to read the comments, although I knew they'd all say something along the lines of "So cute" or "Good job" or "That's how we did it!" But then this chick comes in and, very politely I must say, gives this peachy bit of advice: <br />
<br />
<i>"I know they eat often but if you plan on holding them at least half of their feedings, <span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">they will be brighter, appreciate touch more and not rely
on one another as much as they rely on you. Not only that but it lowers
your blood pressure and it bonds you. Instead of being exhausting, it
becomes a happy place and you begin to not want to put them down."</span></span></i><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><br /></span></span>
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">My initial reaction: </span></span><br />
<br />
<b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Eff my life. Did I not freaking hold them enough? Oh my god, no, I didn't. Jesus eff I've ruined them. No wonder they don't want to snuggle and love me all the time. And yet they looooove each other. And they are a little slow, aren't they? I mean not walking until 15 months, even for twins, isn't that late? Would I call them bright? Can I even know that yet? And omg I</span></span><i><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"> </span></span></i><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">really</span></span><i><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"> </span></span></i><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><i>was</i> stressed out during feedings a lot, wasn't I? That's it, they felt that and now they hate me because of it. </span></span></b><br />
<br />
<b><i><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">If only I had tried harder to hold them and feed them, at least half the time. It's all my fault. </span></span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><br /></span></span></i></b>
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Thankfully, I'm a Gemini and I am finally learning to let things go so I quickly realized that this "advice" was absurd and obnoxious and actually quite rude. But I had to say something.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">First of all, my kids are fine. The OP's kids will be fine. Of course they will be. Because we did the best we could and, for me, that meant my babies <i>were</i> <i>not held for the majority of their feedings. </i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Maybe that's a shocker for you, but if you had any idea you probably wouldn't advise me otherwise. Even if you did catch me on a good day, which this post clearly did not. </span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><br /></span></span>
First things first,<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"> "one up-both up" (wherein you actively wake the other baby to eat when one wakes up) was never actually an <i>option</i> for us. As in, they didn't give us a choice. They wanted to eat at the same time <b>or else</b>. It took 72 hours for their nice 1/2-hour staggered NICU schedule to wear off and then if one was up and eating the other was too, otherwise she was screaming. Since I was usually alone and figured out in the first few days that it was awkward and terrifying as hell to criss-cross babies and bottles, I opted for the safer, easier route of pillows 95% of the time. </span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"></span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><br /></span></span>
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Also, I pumped. Religiously. Every 2-3 hours for 12 weeks because it was important to me that they have breast milk. And because formula for two is freaking expensive. It was by far easiest for me to pump while they ate on their pillows and just hold them to burp (thank GOD for my hands-free pumping system - it's probably the reason I survived.) Of course there were times when I held them while I pumped but this, as you can imagine, was not an optimal situation for anyone and not one I would actually choose, no matter <i>what</i> the benefit.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Worse yet, when they finally latched, I used my nursing pillow for every daytime feed until they were about a year old. At night I rotated between them in my bed for months until they got down to one feed a night, for which we used the pillow because why the hell not? Boobs out, baby on either side of me, pillow on my lap, usually phone or food in my hand or catching a few zzz's (not really but I would prop pillows on either side of my legs just in case.) It was easier than positioning them on me and trying to keep them latched and I was hands free, something you very rarely are when you're a twin mom. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Sure, there were nights when we would hold them for the bedtime bottle and I would pump after they went to bed. But so many times CJ was cleaning or making dinner or I was grocery shopping or taking a much needed break. Again, it was just easier this way. Boppies, bibs, bottles, and in half an hour it was cuddles and love, and lots of it, I swear. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">The thing is, I know in my heart that even if we didn't try to hold them a few nights a week it wouldn't have mattered. Because <b>we did what worked for our family</b>, depending on the day, hour and even minute. Otherwise we would have lost our minds.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Not to mention, </span></span>I co-slept for almost 6 months and was up every hour nursing one after the other thanks to a nightmare 4 month sleep regression. And <span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">after 4 months of pumping around the clock, I nursed on demand from the days they latched and I continue to breastfeed at 17 months old. </span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"></span><span class="UFICommentBody">I don't think I should feel guilty for whatever I did or didn't do when they were newborns when I was just trying to survive. And I know several hundred (probably even thousand) twin parents who would say the exact same thing. </span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><br /></span></span>
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">So why am I writing this if I don't actually feel guilty? Because I just feel like the
last thing we need to be doing is commenting on how other people make it work, especially when we've been there ourselves. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Even if there is some magical benefit to the act of holding while feeding, does this mom really need to hear about it right this second? It's a personal choice and not one that is intentionally inflicting harm so it probably doesn't need to be mentioned, am I right? </span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Aside from it not working for us, I, and so many other twin parents, made the choice for sanity's sake. </span></span>Like all the other decisions we made pre-kids that went right out the window when that tech said there's two. I sure as hell never pictured myself not holding my kids when they ate but life had other plans for us. And really, does this commenter honestly think the OP doesn't know it's good to hold a baby when they eat? </span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Come on. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">I liken it to all those choices we make every day that could-maybe-possibly-at-some-point-in-the-future impact our kids but that has little to no measurable difference at the time. Like formula or breast, shots or none, co-sleeping or cribs or conventional or organic food. If you feel some type of way about it, say it to your friends, don't post it on facebook as a well-meaning bit of advice to another mom, especially one that <i>you know</i> is in the trenches.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">This mom who commented, she meant well, I know, or least I hope she did. Or mayyybe she's one of those mythical sanctimommies who so many claim do not exist. Yeah, I'll go there. I don't think she is, really, but I can't help but shake my head and ask what the hell her point even was, if not to "educate" and, no matter how nicely, pass judgement on a completely innocuous and necessary thing. Babies are being fed, who gives a damn how it's happening? It's not enough we shame people for <i>what</i> they feed but now we're gonna tell them <b>HOW</b> to do it too? Or else their kids won't be as bright? <b><i>Really?</i></b></span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">As a twin mom herself maybe she should have run that comment through her head a few more times and she might have decided it was not in the best taste to tell a bunch of survivalists that their best could be better.</span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><br /></span></span>
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Maybe I'm too sensitive, because it's something I've genuinely wondered about. I know about the benefits of touch and the importance of establishing that connection. I wondered all on my own if I hurt them, long before reading this. Like when it took forever for them to smile or the fact that they still hate snuggling, save for a few 10 second hugs here and there. Did I do that to them? Could I have changed it?</span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><br /></span></span>
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Is it not enough that I kept them, and myself, alive and thriving through one of the most terrifying times of my own life? Or that I, through 4 months of pumping and 13+ months of nursing, have constantly sacrificed my own comfort, sleep and sanity, just trying to keep them happy, healthy and secure? </span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Nah, I refuse to let her get to me. It is enough. It's more than enough.</span></span><br />
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">As for the notion that feedings would have been less "exhausting" or that I wouldn't want to put them down, I thought she might be on to something at first. I know how much I love nursing for the physical and emotional benefits (for all of us) and I wondered if we really missed out on that in those early months. That is until I remembered the fact that bottle feeding two babies is a pain in the freaking ass, especially when they want to eat and burp and poop at the same time. </span></span><br />
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">And you want to talk exhausting? I know for a fact that it's damn near impossible to actually hold and bottle feed two itsy bitsy rag dolls and feel anywhere <i>near </i>relaxed. My stress level was through the roof worrying about dropping and burping and all that crap. So I guess maybe if you always have a partner around but neither one of you has jobs or ever sleeps then your kids will be awesomer (I'm sorry, I mean "brighter") because you can feed and hold them at the same time? Hmmm... for some reason I doubt that!</span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><br /></span></span>
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">The bottom line is we all do what we have to do. <i>Some</i> might say that what ultimately worked for us wasn't the best thing we could have done. The same argument could be made (and is regularly) of my choices to feed them food rather than purees, to keep them rear facing as long as possible or to homeschool them. So instead of letting it get to me I'll just add this one to my long list of other people's opinions that I don't give a crap about. But I just had to say something. If not to her then to the great abyss of the internet.</span></span><br />
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Again, I'm likely reading way too far into it but I needed to get it out and, shocker, I haven't written a blog in forever and I feel better now! </span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Happy New Year!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Xo,</span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Maigen </span></span>Maigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-25636071266120253922015-12-17T11:02:00.000-05:002015-12-17T20:27:30.908-05:00Christmas Time With Toddler Twins!I am so looking forward to Christmas with two 17 month olds. It's going to be insane and it's obviously so different from how we used to do things, but it's also so much fun!<br />
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We went to my Dad's this weekend to help decorate his tree. The girls helped a bit when we did ours at home but I gave them bead necklaces to hang while I completed our "toddler tree". All ornaments of any sentimental value go on the top 3rd, paper and cloth go in the middle and the bottom is bare, since the beads they put up were pulled down in like ten seconds. They had a blast doing it and instead of barricading the tree all the time I let them play with it when they want to. They tend to leave it alone most of the time or just stare at it (except for when I want to take a picture of them in front of it, of course)!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbrtj2lULl34UX-o1RFA8tIJtKxCJoh4CN1ogSXob9v5FI8bd4f2kGLD37jHPRu-Ag3RoQxxBWRLrpq0hreZmJd4knLbuG2XFOROiaoYJW4Y0_3dK7hI1lfHgbs2QsuZU391QpxjNjllE/s1600/christmastreedecorating.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="438" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbrtj2lULl34UX-o1RFA8tIJtKxCJoh4CN1ogSXob9v5FI8bd4f2kGLD37jHPRu-Ag3RoQxxBWRLrpq0hreZmJd4knLbuG2XFOROiaoYJW4Y0_3dK7hI1lfHgbs2QsuZU391QpxjNjllE/s640/christmastreedecorating.jpg" width="640" /></a> <br />
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This was not the case at my Dad's. My saint of a niece (who is 4) was having so much fun decorating and the girls got a kick out of following her around taking them all down. J was being so patient and I was trying to help, giving them their own ornaments to hang or look at, but hooks and glass balls and toddlers do not mix very well. Thankfully they got distracted after a bit by the cats and pictures and books and had their own fun exploring and we were able to finish the tree.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrNu0h5w8DH1f4NMJl-qblzRAAIN9LJ7Wv9Dq_NpmQWCwU4VDm23s9jawdWYSKixfUz6NbgFDmZ6-b4g8bC-d4GTLkf5fQLzR2EXgkozvzxuMZGTah9xEmE0mm516DzjziE8zO0Qq-PYU/s1600/christmastreedads.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrNu0h5w8DH1f4NMJl-qblzRAAIN9LJ7Wv9Dq_NpmQWCwU4VDm23s9jawdWYSKixfUz6NbgFDmZ6-b4g8bC-d4GTLkf5fQLzR2EXgkozvzxuMZGTah9xEmE0mm516DzjziE8zO0Qq-PYU/s640/christmastreedads.jpg" width="640" /></a> <br />
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One big difference between life before the twins and after is how I decorate. I used to go all out for Halloween and Christmas. Now, Halloween was some paper jack o'lanterns and painted pumpkins and our Christmas decor consists of the toddler tree, some kid-safe decorations they can play with and explore placed at their level and a few figurines smushed together on a table that are out of reach most of the time until I can sit with them and let them explore.<br />
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At least I'm OK with the minimalist yet cluttered look at this point. They love playing with the Santa nesting dolls I got from my grandmother and the ancient Styrofoam snow girl that my mother may or may not have knit clothes for 25 years ago (I seriously don't know who made it but we had it in my house growing up and I just can't get rid of her). <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJmuUVE3ews6jdfdOVm08cZttWHZX8kEZ7sGih-ooMxQgBelsvyfpCWMgFA4oH3kzIfRJP2U0L0yLpY3XNUNnYXktypmM7Xa5RHJu4Hed43eXEpNJ5rNTNbGf4SIBW82Bx_3ngy9IO5I/s1600/christmasdecor.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="630" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJmuUVE3ews6jdfdOVm08cZttWHZX8kEZ7sGih-ooMxQgBelsvyfpCWMgFA4oH3kzIfRJP2U0L0yLpY3XNUNnYXktypmM7Xa5RHJu4Hed43eXEpNJ5rNTNbGf4SIBW82Bx_3ngy9IO5I/s640/christmasdecor.jpg" width="640" /></a> <br />
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I've also put together some fun Chrstimassy activities for them to enjoy. So far the favorite was the Christmas sensory bin filled with bead necklaces, jingle bells, pom-poms, pine branches and cones, ornaments and Christmas tree shapes.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicyL7krJfS_IVGh3N5sPFWS_Iv8QjMPFGE8XnMp0VixlmX_l0TYK_G7G68TO3zUbhwI1dJdy5e-AvkAXv6BvmAGQ_WTgIQ7FPD4YlL-ilSwATDbZilsV4qfRnB2blLRkCMVJNb4iSGDt0/s1600/christmastreesensorybin.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="370" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicyL7krJfS_IVGh3N5sPFWS_Iv8QjMPFGE8XnMp0VixlmX_l0TYK_G7G68TO3zUbhwI1dJdy5e-AvkAXv6BvmAGQ_WTgIQ7FPD4YlL-ilSwATDbZilsV4qfRnB2blLRkCMVJNb4iSGDt0/s640/christmastreesensorybin.jpg" width="640" /></a> <br />
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They also love their Christmas tree discovery bottles (spice bottles filled with pine branches, cones and jingle bells - they can open the top and smell them without getting needles everywhere!) We have a ton of Christmas books that I kept hidden until now, including four copies of The Night Before Christmas - my favorite holiday story (and not just because the author, Clement C. Moore, wrote it in my hometown of Troy, NY).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIsk-LCIzoWPmeGsJwhogQqCPk0IEMeRtCuTDmYhMLw3yVwv_kVxjB4km_Dtx8Q7aRiI2WogbYnFQzfLvQXmh3W931BomC4hy6LsutPhCoo1soMckXBnWyk8RB1MEk4dh-dqOCMWmO9v0/s1600/christmasbooksdiscoverybottles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIsk-LCIzoWPmeGsJwhogQqCPk0IEMeRtCuTDmYhMLw3yVwv_kVxjB4km_Dtx8Q7aRiI2WogbYnFQzfLvQXmh3W931BomC4hy6LsutPhCoo1soMckXBnWyk8RB1MEk4dh-dqOCMWmO9v0/s640/christmasbooksdiscoverybottles.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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They can really participate in activities now so we've had fun painting with Christmas colors and they loved the gingerbread play-dough we made last week.<br />
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I've started clearing out our playroom in preparation for Christmas and since the girls dropped down to one nap last week (completely without issue or major disruption to anyone's sleep, I have to add) I don't really have a lot of time to get things done without them in tow. I'm using it to my advantage though and having them test toys before deciding if they stay or go. They still love their cups and caps but they are also really into baby dolls, dressing up with hats and scarves and carrying around bags or backpacks. They are loving their stacking blocks and tool box too.<br />
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I packed up four boxes of toys that they just don't use and so far they haven't missed them. I'm hoping to clean them up and donate them to a local family on one of my swap groups. Someone did that for me last year when I was looking for toys for the girls (not for Christmas but just to have) but I didn't have much money to spend. She showed up here with the toys and wouldn't take payment for them. In coming years I would love for that to be a part of our holiday tradition so I'm starting it now. We're far from where we'd like to be financially (really, we're technically poor and getting more in debt every day, just keepin' it real) but it is so important to me that they know the true meaning of giving to others, especially at Christmas. If there is one thing about this whole time of year that I want to stick with them it's that we give, to show love and because we want to.<br />
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Speaking of of giving, did you send a card to <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/US/girl-lost-family-fire-receives-195000-christmas-cards/story?id=35762934" target="_blank">Sa'fyre Terry</a> this year?
We did! This precious girl is local to us (only 15 minutes away) and as
soon as I heard her story I had to make sure we created some homemade
cards for her. We used a golf ball or fingers to paint over Christmas shapes, I cut them out and we glued them onto cards and wrote messages to her. I used the extra to make the ornaments above. I know with receiving 195,000 cards a day it's likely Sa'fyre won't even see them but I'm so glad we could be part of something so amazing!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVT-BUyouZ5e6g2RKSd0G_OOmcH1_YSt7sxfcYcerIi-GRFjJVkbi5656rODiA3xW28_w55nOcYeoR-GPKZqcE9hNLMNokNqtS5be39GswktI8FUJYYph-l2_Xr7Fax_YaRmy2XbqMgTk/s1600/christmassafyrecards.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="404" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVT-BUyouZ5e6g2RKSd0G_OOmcH1_YSt7sxfcYcerIi-GRFjJVkbi5656rODiA3xW28_w55nOcYeoR-GPKZqcE9hNLMNokNqtS5be39GswktI8FUJYYph-l2_Xr7Fax_YaRmy2XbqMgTk/s640/christmassafyrecards.jpg" width="640" /></a> <br />
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As for the girls, I am sticking with my theme for gifts that I did for their birthday and last Christmas only I've added a category this time. For any gift giving holiday they each get a maximum of 4-5 gifts from us - something they need, want, to read, to wear and, new this Christmas, something to do. So far we've budgeted $100 each but it varies based on what we buy, and it's not always all included in presents - their outfits for their birthdays were their "wear" gift, for example.<br />
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This year we got them each two pairs of leggings, two of <a href="http://amzn.to/1mafrVl" target="_blank">Gerda Muller's Seasons books</a>, <a href="http://amzn.to/1mafGzJ" target="_blank">a magnet puzzle from Melissa and Doug</a>, a winter coat and a small wooden block set. We've spent just under $60 each as most were on sale and some were bought with gift cards. I am not doing stockings until next year since CJ and I never really did them before and when I was a kid Santa did the stockings anyway!<br />
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Speaking of Santa, I'm so thankful I don't have to deal with the headache of figuring him out until at least next year. I had two blogs going all about my feelings on Santa and his elf buddies (and baby Jesus too for that matter) but I haven't even figured out what I want to say or do yet, let alone how it goes over, so I don't feel right writing about it yet. That said, <a href="http://lauragraceweldon.com/2010/12/16/do-you-tell-the-truth-about-santa/" target="_blank">many other people</a> have <a href="http://www.modernalternativemama.com/2015/12/04/why-i-wont-do-elf-on-the-shelf/" target="_blank">so check them out </a>if you want an idea of why I am actually having a moral fit over introducing Santa to my kids. Also, CJ thinks I'm a grinch for not going all-in, just so you know.<br />
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I did take them to have breakfast with Santa. Aside from them freaking out when we got up to see him and them being called boys not once, not twice, but three times, it went great. I loved that no one had to sat on his lap, they had a chair for the kids to sit in front of him. It was fun and part of the tradition of experiencing what our community has to offer this time of year.<br />
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Last weekend we went to the Victorian Stroll in my hometown of Troy, NY, which again is the very place where Clement C. Moore wrote The Night Before Christmas (can you tell I'm proud of that fact?). We stayed for the Christmas tree lighting and heard my high school choir sing (still directed by the amazing Mrs. Mack, one of my favorite teachers ever). It was so awesome having the girls there to see that - I can't wait until next year.<br />
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The absolute best part of Christmas this year: I'm happy.<br />
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I can vividly recall so so many Christmases (far too many really) that I was miserable, sad and desperate to feel the way I did when I was a kid. Years of being alone during the holidays, always missing someone or not feeling comfortable with my own people took a toll on me and at times I dreaded the holidays. Not anymore. I'm finding it's near impossible to feel lonely, worried or sad when you've got two 16 month olds to keep you laughing.<br />
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Their wonder and joy at all the sights, sounds and music of this time of year is enough to keep me happy. They are in love with <a href="http://amzn.to/1maj1iq" target="_blank">Pentatonix's Christmas album</a> and we listen to it all day long. Add to that the fact that they are the MOST fun ever right now, the memories we're making and the start of new traditions, I am almost scaring myself with how wonderful I feel. Clearly good enough to never have time to blog, but it was time for an update, so I hope you enjoyed the glimpse into Christmas with the <a href="http://www.instagram.com/beau_leo_twins" target="_blank">#beaulieutwins</a>.<br />
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I hope you and yours have a happy, healthy and joy-filled holiday season!<br />
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Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-73595201651163120892015-12-01T16:15:00.003-05:002015-12-01T16:15:51.502-05:00Happy Thanksgiving!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We had our first big holiday away from home this week, taking a road trip to Syracuse for Thanksgiving at GG's house. The last time we took any sort of extended drive was back in July and we learned enough then to make sure we were prepared but this time. However, it was so much easier in general, thanks to them being toddlers now (and not nursing for their main source of food). Aside from Viv's fear of the dark that kicked in at 45 minutes from home, it was a totally stress free and fun trip. It's a different ballgame with toddlers versus a baby so here are the things that got us through our road trip and holiday visit this time around:<br />
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<h4>
Entertainment for the car</h4>
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I know a lot of toys are no-nos for car seat safety so I made sure to pack soft things that will keep the girls entertained. We're trying not to use DVD players or tablets in the backseat until they're old enough to ask for it so some hands-on entertainment on long car rides is a must. I packed them each a taggy stuffed animal or blanket, soft and crinkly books, a sensory ball and some rings and links for them to play with if they woke up on the drive. I'd transition them out from the front seat diaper bag if they got bored. Everything worked great until the last hour of our ride home when we needed...<br />
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A cell phone for when those fail</h4>
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Viv woke up screaming on our way home and despite 20 minutes of singing songs and sitting rather unsafely in my seat trying to touch and calm her I gave in and handed her my phone. Thanks to Dad using this neat little trick during diaper changes, it almost always calms them down. I really don't like doing it (for a number of reasons) and we always say, "This is so bad, we don't want them relying on screens for anything..." but we know now that you'll do just about anything to stop that screaming in the car when you're still 45 minutes from home. I need them to know that my phone is mine so I have zero kids games on it but the game Little Things Forever is awesome for toddler distraction in those much needed situations.<br />
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<h4>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVln6Ce7UXuw0NDAisZT20jR6HsB-nxozgBAcjbSJEJQu-JpkjHSnPIB-yLbcrUsZUylSZCY0hxiAZ0tiA7AvWaFqsv23sADHWGEWWXWyGqFwPwZ7y3OQz3Az8maYGBSjAFt4knoyos7s/s1600/IMG_20151126_144713220.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVln6Ce7UXuw0NDAisZT20jR6HsB-nxozgBAcjbSJEJQu-JpkjHSnPIB-yLbcrUsZUylSZCY0hxiAZ0tiA7AvWaFqsv23sADHWGEWWXWyGqFwPwZ7y3OQz3Az8maYGBSjAFt4knoyos7s/s400/IMG_20151126_144713220.jpg" width="400" /></a>Boppy or other Booster Chairs for eating at the table</h4>
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When I was a kid my grandmother had one of those restaurant wooden high chairs for the grandkids to sit at and eat. It worked well and we always put it at the head of the kids table in the kitchen, which usually meant that Mom or Dad of the baby had to sit there too. Coming from a huge family I JUST got the chance to sit at the grown-up table a few years ago and I hated the idea of having to go back to the kid's table with the girls. Thankfully CJ's family is smaller and when we were discussing Thanksgiving a few weeks ago I told GG and Jama that I wanted the girls to sit with us - right at the table, on real chairs with their boosters. While we did need an extra table for the first time ever, the girls fit comfortably and we were able to enjoy our meal together without babies on our laps or being segregated to another room! Big win! We'll see how it goes next year with my side of the family!<br />
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<h4>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLa04xypd7fs1YX2gCWR0C6Uq9IYbDZiDdnvX71AGHfY61YMNAa1NJeQ5XtrHJ_-WvP-Zu-UP_c0m-WAt3Fx-V5ficlhCUwNicQMq9jYVW9FguUGNUg8BeXfGv9Xly0OsuvE1PimMnxJs/s1600/IMG_20151126_154946677.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLa04xypd7fs1YX2gCWR0C6Uq9IYbDZiDdnvX71AGHfY61YMNAa1NJeQ5XtrHJ_-WvP-Zu-UP_c0m-WAt3Fx-V5ficlhCUwNicQMq9jYVW9FguUGNUg8BeXfGv9Xly0OsuvE1PimMnxJs/s320/IMG_20151126_154946677.jpg" width="179" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT8S0rwYu5woaOOHpy8YWkbrtNiQlwGnwNJG55yWzLTwbJf5avdgGFBCtG7aUuTTFZssDPBCSCAS1enf4vtOt-bRJy3CRPjqMEM0-KzTAuSre-hj4yURMc-LAoCkWHu3iR-pmNPWMflJM/s1600/IMG_20151126_154926102_HDR.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT8S0rwYu5woaOOHpy8YWkbrtNiQlwGnwNJG55yWzLTwbJf5avdgGFBCtG7aUuTTFZssDPBCSCAS1enf4vtOt-bRJy3CRPjqMEM0-KzTAuSre-hj4yURMc-LAoCkWHu3iR-pmNPWMflJM/s320/IMG_20151126_154926102_HDR.jpg" width="179" /></a>Fun stuff to keep them entertained in a new (not babyproofed) place</h4>
<br />
A lot of the things they enjoy these days are not so easy to transport: boxes, musical instruments, push and pull toys and their climber. I needed things that would keep them occupied and wouldn't bore them. I packed a big bag with two stuffed animals, our thanksgiving books, plastic balls, our caps and homemade drop-in containers, peg dolls and wooden bowls. I packed their backpacks with tool-kit bolts, foam blocks and a few "home" items, such as keys, our toy phone and binoculars and scarves. I made sure to pick things they weren't playing with a ton at home
for the novelty aspect which helped get me some more adult conversation
time in. I would only introduce a toy if they were needing a distraction/redirection or if they were melting down and needed to reconnect and feel secure. Although they entertained themselves just fine with GG's little rocking chair and a few stairs to climb on!<br />
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<br />
<br />
<h4>
Baby Led Weaning</h4>
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvpaRIEV2uno5mWe1nrfCtw6rZ6A_bVKszapwrSDTy7ZxhcN76qF93JYtSi6OzkHt35MWor2RWFSWNFVbUrHaDusajrHPKT_o97KiBJOb6uMrL48yMgo3qQ24sqwzZYUNzw8QB0A_WSvs/s1600/IMG_20151126_150225107.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvpaRIEV2uno5mWe1nrfCtw6rZ6A_bVKszapwrSDTy7ZxhcN76qF93JYtSi6OzkHt35MWor2RWFSWNFVbUrHaDusajrHPKT_o97KiBJOb6uMrL48yMgo3qQ24sqwzZYUNzw8QB0A_WSvs/s320/IMG_20151126_150225107.jpg" width="179" /></a>I have no idea what they would be doing if we had done baby food but I swear, they did so great at the table for dinner, I myself was impressed with them. I got to enjoy a full meal, lots of adult conversation and dessert without any sort if issue with my 16 month old twins. They sat right next to us, laughing and playing and, best of all, eating what we were eating, with no problem. I admit I was terrified going into it as I didn't want either one of them to end up on my lap but I also didn't bring any other snacks or food for them so I was hoping they wouldn't be too freaked out or bored with the food. They did awesome! I loved not having to have a separate meal for them either - they ate the turkey, corn, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, stuffing, squash and fresh vegs from the salad! Again, I really don't know for sure if not doing BLW would have made a huge difference
at this point but I can't help but feel like it<br />
contributed to how well
it went!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5QU9QYqYlLR3iNMssq9dzhb7ubsWxpbaybwRzl9SmGMgb0loZegRvPpGNzH5FOltokRextT19kdE9X9a87Vin2SqDHmC5D93FL1O1i800-RD1YzPhnRgEYbGQq0Hs6IWKzvEDtMZf4WQ/s1600/12309872_10207274634200591_3765508940402837079_o.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5QU9QYqYlLR3iNMssq9dzhb7ubsWxpbaybwRzl9SmGMgb0loZegRvPpGNzH5FOltokRextT19kdE9X9a87Vin2SqDHmC5D93FL1O1i800-RD1YzPhnRgEYbGQq0Hs6IWKzvEDtMZf4WQ/s400/12309872_10207274634200591_3765508940402837079_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
All in all it was such a great day. We also celebrated Daddy's Birthday (tomorrow he turns the big 3-0)! Although we are seeing a bit of anxiety when we get to new places and in large groups, they warm up quickly and love having the freedom to explore.<br />
<br />
We followed it up with a fantastic family filled weekend of trips to Great Nana's and Papa T's houses and a visit from our friends Josh, Maddi and Chris and baby Dominick.<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
We hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
Maigen<br />
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Maigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-90798138157575670282015-11-15T08:00:00.000-05:002015-11-15T10:58:58.063-05:00October Activity Roundup for Preschoolers and Toddlers<div dir="ltr">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFZQGTzs7ltGSeUYhHatjT4VxnVFpEABxL4UVKHnTsl7XtcbutJeRkbDs0nPJYikDdSJprueGVUP-UaeNQWSWKqX50O-XeThOC5DFREYsCvXgenBhnAIfYoWrHZSqxHsGf0FEpqnOB9OU/s1600/octoberactivityrounduptop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFZQGTzs7ltGSeUYhHatjT4VxnVFpEABxL4UVKHnTsl7XtcbutJeRkbDs0nPJYikDdSJprueGVUP-UaeNQWSWKqX50O-XeThOC5DFREYsCvXgenBhnAIfYoWrHZSqxHsGf0FEpqnOB9OU/s640/octoberactivityrounduptop.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
Last month was amazing and so much fun. We had such beautiful weather and there was so much to see and do with the three little ones. I don't think I've enjoyed my favorite season this much in years.!<br />
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We really soaked up the changing leaves and the weather cooling down (although we also enjoyed the 70* weather in the first week of November). Having a big kid here to do all my favorite activities with has added so much to the fun. Between Halloween, pumpkins and leaves we were super busy playing, learning and creating.<br />
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Here are some of our favorite things to do in October!<br />
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<h2>
Nature Walks and Collecting Treasures</h2>
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Nature walks are awesome in any season but the fall in Upstate NY makes it extra special. We are lucky to live near a park and in a neighborhood that are filled with tons of different trees. I love taking pictures of the colors and talking with the kids about the how and why of the change. This is prime nature collection time too with the
branches, leaves, acorns and pine cones falling all over the place.
There's so much to see and do that you don't even need a ball or a
playground to have fun outside in the fall. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqTvFJASNrXMpGygmGVd_7Gg-qXNY3uEVrYgLK3OCn1yHDYSRFkPA2SeGSuPn6i_9qomH4u_K5Ay4e6FUtYHtCzICGUELkBTcZqzTAq8GkXjb93e0HXYf3jqteILisErBxggotAtUeYQY/s1600/octoberactivitynaturewalksdone.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="418" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqTvFJASNrXMpGygmGVd_7Gg-qXNY3uEVrYgLK3OCn1yHDYSRFkPA2SeGSuPn6i_9qomH4u_K5Ay4e6FUtYHtCzICGUELkBTcZqzTAq8GkXjb93e0HXYf3jqteILisErBxggotAtUeYQY/s640/octoberactivitynaturewalksdone.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<h2>
Nature Collection Exploration Box</h2>
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After we have a decent stockpile of nature items I put them into bins or boxes to explore. We had a look at tons of acorns, pine cones, leaves, sticks, rocks and pumpkins through out the season.</div>
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<b>Preschooler:</b>
We talk about colors, shapes, sizes and textures. I
added tongs and buckets for some transferring practice. Later we added
beans and rice for a more sensory-ish bin as well as some foam letters
and shapes for R to find and match.<br />
<br />
<b>Toddler:</b> We explored the real stuff a few times
then I swapped it for some fake leaves and added random objects for them
to find including small pumpkins, letter blocks and animals.<br />
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<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfldqUs_MCtjxvtCyvyARxAMJrmDHKBhHWR0bMb-P6TKxWaohqRBxMpyDmzA6XTk7NaA8gIzwLckIdH-cdSgm1XwiuMfdNEvdoLBYgcNK3PV_d4jkXW5O7ZYlmk7P8tli9ywdnkM98H4g/s1600/octoberactivityfallexplorationbins2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="390" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfldqUs_MCtjxvtCyvyARxAMJrmDHKBhHWR0bMb-P6TKxWaohqRBxMpyDmzA6XTk7NaA8gIzwLckIdH-cdSgm1XwiuMfdNEvdoLBYgcNK3PV_d4jkXW5O7ZYlmk7P8tli9ywdnkM98H4g/s640/octoberactivityfallexplorationbins2.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<h2>
Leaf Creations</h2>
Not only were the colors incredible this year but we had an overabundance of leaves - I think I collected well over 500 over the month! Aside from using them in our sensory bins and just playing with them we had fun creating with them too:<br />
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<b>Rubbings and Prints: </b><br />
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We made leaf rubbings with crayons and leaf prints by painting the bumpy side of the leaf and pressing it on to paper.<br />
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<br />
<b>Leaf Changing Book: </b><br />
<br />
We started this one the
first week of Fall back in September. I found a great book that explains
why the leaves change and wanted to document the change as best as we
could. We started collecting them while they were still green from the
backyard and the park. Each week we would try to find leaves of the same
shape and size and note if they had changed yet. We displayed them to
watch the progression and at the end of week 4 I wrapped them in contact
paper and stapled them together to finish our book.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_zqz6MYvWord5CtvjBDUP0ywDnzD__2U36zM2xtM6YoDV0jrr-VK900YYGM_Uent5if3IuiRWgpZHlZHeirjEXc_vBhgijpXR1c6T-kDLOVI_WfpgZpxKayHYno_5H5kgmXtFWrvIk3g/s1600/octoberactivityleafprints.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="420" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_zqz6MYvWord5CtvjBDUP0ywDnzD__2U36zM2xtM6YoDV0jrr-VK900YYGM_Uent5if3IuiRWgpZHlZHeirjEXc_vBhgijpXR1c6T-kDLOVI_WfpgZpxKayHYno_5H5kgmXtFWrvIk3g/s640/octoberactivityleafprints.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<h4>
</h4>
<h2>
Dye Coffee Filters with Fall Colors</h2>
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<b>Preschool:</b>
We used fall colors to dye coffee filters. We started using just red
and yellow and watching them mix into orange, then added orange to
brighten it up a bit. We experimented with mixing colors and I gave R a
dropper to try too. I traced leaves onto a few and cut them out to make a
falling leaf decoration.<br />
<br />
<b>Toddler:</b> I didn't get pictures of it for some
reason but I froze the dyed water into ice cube trays and had the girls
slide them around in bins on paper. They were more interested in
touching and tasting them but they made some cool designs too! We also took some of the coffee filters and balled them up to toss around. They liked pulling them back apart too.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsVqjut40DQ6IQoPWq3QFwwp83zdt7X6-_kVsApfTD_0-U4wdSN3H-MO7fX9w-Ew4J88RYWEaBtsGEUQzAmCcyC7hM8m5qCwgMFBbKhNGw72T0n0RU4Msi_3yq_XPcTuzPGt3nINzlCkY/s1600/octoberactivitycoloredcoffeefilters.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="486" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsVqjut40DQ6IQoPWq3QFwwp83zdt7X6-_kVsApfTD_0-U4wdSN3H-MO7fX9w-Ew4J88RYWEaBtsGEUQzAmCcyC7hM8m5qCwgMFBbKhNGw72T0n0RU4Msi_3yq_XPcTuzPGt3nINzlCkY/s640/octoberactivitycoloredcoffeefilters.jpg" width="640" /></a> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU7lJQDUBdLfcZfy7NXwndaJFS1pK1HmvZLFsa1TJyKMf84y-SSx2W2IA09Tkm4wN1qkpEC2ZLRF0AazqFzTqQ_gFHOQ7l8KjyZ1Pql_l7wuVSd3I7F4V2YiQZNNc2RxmjaWUi9CY7wRU/s1600/Octoberactivityexplorationboxes.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a> </div>
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<h2>
Fall Scented Play Dough</h2>
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We used <a href="http://theimaginationtree.com/2012/04/best-ever-no-cook-play-dough-recipe.html" target="_blank">The Imagination Tree's</a> awesome play dough recipe because it is easy to make and the play dough is super soft and lasts forever! We added some pumpkin spice and green or orange food coloring. We will use it all season in different ways.<br />
<br />
<b>Preschool:</b> I added some of our nature collection items and other odds
and ends to explore. We made monsters and cut out leaf prints with dull
plastic knives. Closer to Halloween I printed monster play dough mats and
added lots of odds and ends to make monsters. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcLhok3_aSNMZnsXJDRVu-QZijzBHlC0Hp0fiVSmKd_e0gY_jCDx5G48CFeBqz5nBGFm3cq3GvGcPROgHt5UM4YJiPHP7ztDyf-oI-tcfsxksGemmXMwE_8w9NNuCJPs_dqrxan9pHiwo/s1600/octoberactivitymonsters2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcLhok3_aSNMZnsXJDRVu-QZijzBHlC0Hp0fiVSmKd_e0gY_jCDx5G48CFeBqz5nBGFm3cq3GvGcPROgHt5UM4YJiPHP7ztDyf-oI-tcfsxksGemmXMwE_8w9NNuCJPs_dqrxan9pHiwo/s640/octoberactivitymonsters2.jpg" width="640" /></a> </div>
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<b>Toddler:</b> The girls wanted little to do with the play dough and were more interested in the leaves and plastic bags. I did get them to roll it a little in their hands before they started eating it!</div>
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<h2>
Painting With Fall Colors </h2>
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<b>Preschool:</b> We talk about how and why the leaves are changing colors as the season changes and what colors we start to see as the world turns from green to orange, yellow, red and brown. We used a ball of foil for a cool fall tree effect and did a lot of free paint with these colors throughout the month.<br />
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<b>Toddler:</b> I
gave them a small amount of red, orange, yellow and white paint in a few cups
and some brushes with paper. It took them all of 2 seconds to move on
to painting the mirror. I let them have at it and it added a whole new
fun dimension to their play.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgevZ-VrzOOMq_lBRR9AFJvGIry1uprOERDH-lXIsJqAkGiW13xGWShztwzN0eTc6ompYaaijrGN9iwBAmpG-v7W6JUkSvxoeyyroKleyW1aKW61oLTNHVk5iCPI7IZAtjkmJa5bN0XDtE/s1600/octoberactivitypaintingwithfallcolors.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgevZ-VrzOOMq_lBRR9AFJvGIry1uprOERDH-lXIsJqAkGiW13xGWShztwzN0eTc6ompYaaijrGN9iwBAmpG-v7W6JUkSvxoeyyroKleyW1aKW61oLTNHVk5iCPI7IZAtjkmJa5bN0XDtE/s640/octoberactivitypaintingwithfallcolors.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<h2>
Cutting and Pasting Jack o'Lanterns</h2>
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<b>Preschooler:</b> We used our coffee filters from before and some orange paper to practice cutting. R (who is a rock star at using scissors) free cut and followed lines I drew while I cut out some shapes with black paper. We talked about the shapes while he glued them on to the coffee filters to make Jack o'Lanterns and whatever else he could come up with!<br />
<br />
<b>Toddler:</b> I gathered up the scraps from R's cutting and the extra jack o'lantern shapes and put them in a box for the girls to sift through. I
gave them white paper that I had painted glue onto and showed them
how to stick the scraps on and they made their own fall color creations.
They loved sticking and unsticking them. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilsdD7-etZ5yook4nrIP6qwreoPJGQTmkDRsQbLSr5J86K5X8fLjel1i8VIqmC9d6WmnnbqSVTlPayAgRA-CAg_uPh4IghGsUBoVD0bby4EcYhTTglTcvviNxn-PsWZeX3z5YHP6R7s28/s1600/octoberactivitycutandpastejackolanterns.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilsdD7-etZ5yook4nrIP6qwreoPJGQTmkDRsQbLSr5J86K5X8fLjel1i8VIqmC9d6WmnnbqSVTlPayAgRA-CAg_uPh4IghGsUBoVD0bby4EcYhTTglTcvviNxn-PsWZeX3z5YHP6R7s28/s640/octoberactivitycutandpastejackolanterns.jpg" width="570" /></a><br />
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<h2>
Measuring and Weighing Pumpkins</h2>
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<b>Preschooler: </b>We've been singing the song Five Little Pumpkins all season so I tied that into this activity. I bought pumpkins here and there over the season and ended up with a bunch of different sizes. I traced them in order by size on a few pieces of paper and taped it to the floor near the pile of pumpkins for R to find. He came right over and started trying to figure out how to match them up. We sang the song and talked about size and cardinal and ordinal numbers (1st, 2nd). We got out my bathroom and kitchen scales and a tape measure and talked about height and weight before it turned into rolling the pumpkins all around the room!<br />
<br />
<b>Toddler:</b> The girls ripped our paper as soon as they woke up so R
organized the pumpkins by size for them and we sang Five Little
Pumpkins. Then they all started stacking them and R showed them how to
roll them around. </div>
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<h2>
Ghostly Footprints</h2>
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As much as I love open ended art I also love creating seasonal keepsakes, especially using hand and footprints. This is one of my favorites. Just paint the kids' feet white and press it on to black paper. When it dries glue on some googly eyes and draw on a spooky mouth. So cute!<br />
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<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Painting Pumpkins</span></h2>
<h4>
<b> </b></h4>
<b>Preschooler:
</b>I wasn't going to attempt to carve a jack o'lantern with three kids
running around so I looked up No-Carve pumpkin ideas and we decided to
paint them. R and I
looked at some pictures online to get ideas and created some beautiful
works of art with tempera paint, paintbrushes and glitter. I clearly had fun with the glitter (the middle one is my sparkly rest time creation)!<br />
<br />
<b>Toddler:</b> The girls loved this
activity. For them I used washable paint in just a couple colors so it
wouldn't turn into a brown mess. I used tape to put their letters on
them to make a tape resist initial after the paint dried. Most of their
paint came from them picking the pumpkins up then rolling them in it or mushing it all over with their hands. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzmdKNx0otUscdwQav5UVJTgdVxHL3x5_-tU3oINRmiOY4aVdULiWBw39Mr31yPEDm4ABXPeVbiQptJ8oB8uzwTpokiL6WIA3ExhyfHzlOIXqS9-hYBGnUZmpb6-XL22xivhs-IlOkFZU/s1600/octoberactivitypumpkinpaintingdone.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="408" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzmdKNx0otUscdwQav5UVJTgdVxHL3x5_-tU3oINRmiOY4aVdULiWBw39Mr31yPEDm4ABXPeVbiQptJ8oB8uzwTpokiL6WIA3ExhyfHzlOIXqS9-hYBGnUZmpb6-XL22xivhs-IlOkFZU/s640/octoberactivitypumpkinpaintingdone.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<h2>
Making Masks</h2>
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I love making masks for Halloween. Usually we look at some spooky stuff in books to get an idea of what they want. I offer half a paper plate and whatever color paint they want while I cut out the details. R wanted to be a monster so I cut hair and bolts and hunted down a good piece of string or shoe lace to tie the mask together. I poked a hole on each side and added shoelaces that tied in the back
for the perfect fit. I meant to but never got around to making masks for
the girls :( Next year!<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmWkPKB_3To8ETkYdHeNDAnnpaRjTt33_lYfz6G2BitFPQc_lo1Va6Qvhgp8flzrn2uMHv0stdo1iuTMIGU-nX8YjphAodI3H9mxo_iKZrNDSC7PiHvDRtjWsWuG9v0JBxMfMTJJqPQCE/s1600/octoberactivitymonstermasks.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmWkPKB_3To8ETkYdHeNDAnnpaRjTt33_lYfz6G2BitFPQc_lo1Va6Qvhgp8flzrn2uMHv0stdo1iuTMIGU-nX8YjphAodI3H9mxo_iKZrNDSC7PiHvDRtjWsWuG9v0JBxMfMTJJqPQCE/s640/octoberactivitymonstermasks.jpg" width="640" /></a> </div>
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<h2>
Ghost Pancakes and other Halloweeny Food:</h2>
<h4>
</h4>
One of my favorite parts of Halloween is themed food. I thought of the pancakes that morning and instead of our usual blueberry pancakes I just put the pancake batter in a squeeze bottle and added blueberries or chocolate chips for eyes and a mouth.<br />
<br />
The best part is that it's all about what you call the food so it's easy to turn an ordinary lunch into a spooky one. For lunch we had snake's eyeballs or boogers as R came up with (peas), brains on bread (english muffin pizza) and witch's toenails (quartered grapes)!<br />
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</h4>
<h2>
Going On a Witch Hunt</h2>
<h4>
</h4>
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One of my favorite Halloween activities that I do every year! To us adults it sounds a little strange but only because we know about the real witch hunts. To a 3 year old it just sounds like a seasonal version of Going on a Bear Hunt. You use the traditional pattern of Going on a Bear Hunt (whatever you use, I've learned several over the years) and just change it to spooky stuff. Since it's Halloween you have to act it out too - lots of running, jumping and ducking!<br />
<br />
We had to climb a tree filled with spiders and their webs, run through a cave filled with bats and a tunnel filled with ghosts before we got to the witch's house. We spied her big black hat, crooked nose and fingers and green, glowing eyes before we turned around and ran home. Every kid I've ever known loves this. You can sub anything you want too - ghost, zombie, vampire, monster hunt, whatever!<br />
<br />
It's even better since I've been a Witch every year for Halloween forever. Don't you love my hat?<br />
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<h2>
Our Favorite Songs:</h2>
<h3>
</h3>
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<a href="http://balancinghome.com/2015/09/five-little-pumpkins-sitting-on-a-gate-halloween-printable.html" target="_blank">Five Little Pumpkins </a>(Link includes a cute little printable!)<br />
<br />
Five little pumpkins, sitting on a gate<br />
The first one says "Oh my, it's getting late!"<br />
The second one says, "There are witches in the air!"<br />
The third one says, "But we don't care!"<br />
The fourth one says, "Let's run and run and run!"<br />
The fifth one says, "It's time for some fun!"<br />
Then "Wooooooo" went the wind and OUT! went the light<br />
And they all rolled away on Halloween night<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.canteach.ca/elementary/songspoems74.html" target="_blank">Grey Squirrel</a><br />
<br />
Grey squirrel, grey squirrel, shake your bushy tail<br />
Grey squirrel, grey squirrel, shake your bushy tail<br />
Wrinkle up your little nose, crack a nut between your toes<br />
Grey squirrel, grey squirrel, shake your bushy tail! <br />
<br />
<a href="http://dragon.sleepdeprived.ca/songbook/songs3/S3_76.htm" target="_blank">I'm a Nut</a><br />
<br />
I'm a little acorn round, lying on the cold cold ground<br />
Everybody steps on me, that is why I'm cracked you see<br />
I'm a nut *click click*<br />
I'm a nut *click click*<br />
I'm a nut *click click*<br />
and you're craaazy.<br />
<br />
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<h2>
Our Favorite Books: </h2>
(affiliate links!)<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<a href="http://amzn.to/1McNxAL" target="_blank">The Hallo-weiner </a><br />
<a href="http://amzn.to/1NRryli" target="_blank">Llama Llama Trick or Treat</a><br />
<a href="http://amzn.to/1OJJm3h" target="_blank">The Berenstain Bears and the Spooky Old Tree</a><br />
<a href="http://amzn.to/1McNSU3" target="_blank">Cheerio's Halloween Book</a><br />
<br />
We had so much fun this month and I'm happy to start a new series of full of our favorite monthly play, create and learn ideas!<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
Maigen</div>
Maigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-55016199884390552032015-11-11T11:26:00.000-05:002016-09-14T22:23:41.732-04:00Please Be Mindful of What You Say To My KidsI get a lot of questions and comments as a twin mom. I'm used to it and usually it doesn't bother me. But lately we're getting this one question that I had been humoring but is really starting to get to me:<br />
<br />
"Which one is the troublemaker (or boldie, handful, evil twin, easy one, enter some other insulting but "cute" descriptive term)?"<br />
<br />
or<br />
<br />
"Double Trouble! You've got your hands full, Mom!"<br />
<br />
Just last week at the grocery store a woman looked at my girls for all of 3 seconds and stated very matter-of-factly, "Oooh, I can tell <i>you're</i> the troublemaker," to Jules. I asked her why she thought that and she said, "She's got that smile, the other one just looks more cautious."<br />
<br />
She was right, Jules was smiling and Viv was furrowing her brow at her like she tends to do. It seemed innocent but this exchange really made me stop and think about what happens when people make assumptions about kids, often based solely on the looks on their faces. <br />
<br />
At the very least I wonder since when did a smile equate troublemaking behavior? Just because she's a little more outgoing? Isn't that a desirable trait? But I'm really trying to figure out why it's ok to say that to her face? Even if that smile does mean she's a little more brazen, does it warrant being called a troublemaker? That's not the association I want my daughter having with smiling, would you?<br />
<br />
Are we not at the point yet where we realize our words have meaning, even for the youngest of people? People still don't understand that what we <i>say</i> impacts how they <i>feel</i>, about themselves and the world around them? And, more importantly, would she have said anything at all if her sister wasn't sitting behind her, not smiling?<br />
<br />
I've noticed that we don't tend to do this with typical siblings - make guesses about what type of people they are, at least not in comparison to their sister. But it seems like as soon as you mention the word twins everything becomes black or white. We try to find their differences and define them, to figure out who they <i>really</i> are. Just because they were born at the same time.<br />
<br />
Just being a twin does not mean one is inherently good or bad. Yes, they came from one egg that split but not in such a literal sense that they each inherited only one kind of particular personality traits. That's just crazy. And yet, when you ask my toddlers "Which one likes to give Mommy the hard time?" you are insinuating that one of them was born to be bad.<br />
<br />
We need to remember, not just for twins but for all children: <b>who they are at any given moment does not define them</b> and certainly doesn't give us any logical reason to label one as "trouble" or as "the good one". <br />
<br />
The last thing I need is one of my kids thinking she has an excuse to be a rebel just because she was born that way - while her sister got all the "good" parts.<br />
<br />
Trust me, neither one gives me an easy time all the time. I'm fairly certain that's normal, yes?<br />
<br />
Also, for the love of all things, please do not call them double trouble.
Yes, there are two of them. Yes, kids can be hard at times - ALL kids are hard.
But they are not double trouble. I can't figure out why people say it - <b>so many do</b> - but I think they just think it's cute. It's not. At least not to me.<br />
<br />
Would you ever stroll past a family with just one child and randomly proclaim, "She looks like trouble!"? No, right? So, why is it different for my kids? Oh right, because they happened to be born together.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: center; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMyF03x4kqqTEYqq2WDnAQXzhANw8e20eu92FCfSRVz1zv_iD8hSQdV8rdqOMGmrTvYYiI-kewZisd-wkM4RUZTuu9NLE91BNmTd50qZevgG2hE1hhFJcR-Mp5E5ERWytmmUem5yIfS5Q/s1600/IMG_20151021_140656265.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMyF03x4kqqTEYqq2WDnAQXzhANw8e20eu92FCfSRVz1zv_iD8hSQdV8rdqOMGmrTvYYiI-kewZisd-wkM4RUZTuu9NLE91BNmTd50qZevgG2hE1hhFJcR-Mp5E5ERWytmmUem5yIfS5Q/s400/IMG_20151021_140656265.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Exhibit A</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: center; margin-center: 1em; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg82iBHKfBfK0vXyn-B5vcUuOBUacGkAUZ9H8Fl1cOi-tXcYFmebtx5vMyxXApBnrhhTbELUNUc4NeDFCf6OVbQqtEOEGsgYpPfMX0bULFRVvT0v_4kDgFAKt8pkP8wH2ptp9Kf-mi3ML0/s1600/IMG_20151021_140623182.jpg" style="margin-center: 1em; margin-center: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg82iBHKfBfK0vXyn-B5vcUuOBUacGkAUZ9H8Fl1cOi-tXcYFmebtx5vMyxXApBnrhhTbELUNUc4NeDFCf6OVbQqtEOEGsgYpPfMX0bULFRVvT0v_4kDgFAKt8pkP8wH2ptp9Kf-mi3ML0/s400/IMG_20151021_140623182.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Exhibit B: Each exercising their right to be 1 year old<i>. Not</i> double trouble. Just 1 year old sisters.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I remember people categorizing me as a child and it drove me nuts. Even though a lot of the time people were making accurate assessments it stung to hear that the adults I cared about thought I was a worry-wort, dramatic, a smart-ass or a know-it-all. I didn't choose to be these things, it was partly my temperament and partly just me trying to figure out how the world worked.<br />
<br />
Instead of bucking those descriptions I chose to embrace them - it's what everyone thought I was anyway, so why not? I made it a point to be as obnoxious and theatrical as I could, to garner attention with my outbursts and seemingly uncontrollable emotions. By the time I was 18 I had made up my own mental illness and was on my way to getting myself committed when I realized I didn't want to play this game anymore. I made a choice to break the trend and change the way people thought of me. I reinvented myself in college, lost a lot of my old friends as a result and ultimately became a happier and healthier person. But I really wish I didn't have to go through all that to get there.<br />
<br />
Would it have been different if I never tried to fit in the boxes people put me in? <br />
<br />
At 15 months old I have no idea who my children are and even if I did I certainly wouldn't want to slap a label on for them to carry through their lives.<br />
<br />
Yes, it can be fun to draw comparisons and psychoanalyze them, especially because they are identical twins (trust me my inner psych major is always itching to experiment with them). But the fact is that aside from our most basic personality traits, those that make up our temperament (think: would you rather be alone or in a crowd, do you prefer reading or running, are you anxious or easy-going?) we are meant to be fluid - changing and adapting as we grow. At the very least none of us are still the same type of person we were at 15 months old.<br />
<br />
We need to realize that what we say matters. What seems innocent can cause harm. Those labels can and do stick and they can hinder growth, especially when there is a negative connotation attached. Like the word trouble. That's not something I want for my girls. My fear is that at some point they will internalize the idea that one is good and one is bad, or worse that they are both bad just because there's two of them. And who knows what will happen next.<br />
<br />
So, please, when you see a set of twins out and about, don't ask which one is the troublemaker. Don't ask which one is the favorite. Don't assume to know
anything about who they are based on the few seconds you've
watched them or the looks on their faces. You wouldn't compare and label a set of adult siblings you
just met so why treat my toddlers any differently? Imagine how you'd feel if someone labeled you as "the bad one" just because you were having a moment. Or if you were the "good one" because your <i>sister </i>was scowling. It's not fair and it's not ok.<br />
<br />
Instead, say something like, "Are you having fun shopping with your Mom?" "I like your pink shirt." or "I see you have a sister, I bet you have a lot of fun together!"<br />
<br />
Again, I know it's hard - they're identical twins and that changes the way people think of them. I can't change that (but I'm going to try). Regardless of
what you see in those few minutes you talk with us, it means nothing in the grand scheme of
things. Your words, on the other hand, do mean something, so please choose them wisely. <br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-58115274987596190002015-11-06T11:45:00.005-05:002015-11-14T00:37:45.092-05:00How We Do Bath Time With Twins (without a bath tub!)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. <br />
<br />
We all know now that my own <a href="http://www.lifeandlovemultiplied.com/2015/06/my-dirty-mom-confession-plus-review-of.html" target="_blank">personal hygiene took a back seat to the babies</a> but I had no idea how much I would come to hate THEIR bath time. It was once the bane of my existence.<br />
<br />
They love baths so me hating it broke my heart. We were so blessed to have two babies who absolutely love water and never so much as whined in the bath, from day one.<br />
<br />
But over time it became a nightmare. All because of one thing. Actually, the lack of one thing.<br />
<br />
An actual tub.<br />
<br />
How the heck do you bathe two babies when you don't have a freaking bath tub?<br />
<br />
A little back story: Three years ago we lived in a vast and spacious three bedroom apartment with a huge kitchen, double sink and all. The bathroom was small but had a massive 80 year old claw foot tub. We should have loved it but we didn't. The apartment was nice, but it was old, dusty and drafty. The one thing we really hated was that damned tub. I know, le gasp! Claw foot tubs are <i>awesome</i> and everyone wants one, right? We couldn't stand it. The shower curtains didn't fit right no matter what we did, water sprayed everywhere and it created a wind vortex that made the curtain swallow you. Just picture being touched by a shower curtain constantly while trying to get clean. Ick. After six months we were done and when we found our current "cozy" two bedroom with a big backyard and no bathtub we were over the moon.<br />
<br />
Just about a year later we got pregnant with twins. Oops. Looking back I realize our last place would have been perfect for our new family of four - including that massive bath tub that I hated so much. Alas, here we are and here we will stay until we buy a house so we've had to be a little innovative when it comes to cleaning the babies.<br />
<br />
When they were small we used a great baby tub and bathed them one at a time. The <a href="http://amzn.to/1TvMhPG" target="_blank">Fisher Price 4-in-1 Sling 'n Seat Tub</a> fit great in our large kitchen sink. The newborn sling worked well for the first couple months. I would put one baby in a bouncy seat on the floor next to me and bathe the other. We dried off and dressed right on the kitchen table then switched them. The whole process took about an hour and by month four I was itching to bathe them together.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXB36-s1Qh9vAKx1rYlE1PdfYURB54MOr7OAgombDhtgFbyO3kCSweVj1er_ACVHZumjlMQmxmEjOjmWJi1QZftHeDyY7fkpNz7NtlJF5fEcKGl2q6ZJkhZi1vPZNTWqZdKpinBvrnO94/s1600/IMG_20140815_192751361.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXB36-s1Qh9vAKx1rYlE1PdfYURB54MOr7OAgombDhtgFbyO3kCSweVj1er_ACVHZumjlMQmxmEjOjmWJi1QZftHeDyY7fkpNz7NtlJF5fEcKGl2q6ZJkhZi1vPZNTWqZdKpinBvrnO94/s640/IMG_20140815_192751361.jpg" width="358" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Teeny Tiny Jules!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
As they got bigger and moved on from the sling I wasn't as happy with the tub. They kept slipping down and rolling over and baths became downright scary. We only bathed them once a week because it was so stressful trying to get it done.<br />
<br />
<br />
But then the best thing happened - they started sitting up on their own. After making sure they had it down well enough to avoid head injuries I ditched the baby tub and went old school with the kitchen sink. My sweet grandmother gave us this old Flipper toy to cover the faucet and we laid a towel down on the bottom to keep them comfortable. This worked for a glorious 3 months until they started pulling up and standing. All of a sudden the sink was too short and we were risking them falling out with each bath. Back to square one.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4u9TDTpznfJ0cCjxWuxPMpGc_ohQ6NJZsJ9laBjGmSqy7CQ9aAnuoO08XJMLek4fHahoDaYrZiw6vHFBowElsXpv7OnjlKkoWMgqoPUOZNPaCKwiG3-qucrUp5uPUNyGTQAtHyW_igzs/s1600/IMG_20150401_180516174.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4u9TDTpznfJ0cCjxWuxPMpGc_ohQ6NJZsJ9laBjGmSqy7CQ9aAnuoO08XJMLek4fHahoDaYrZiw6vHFBowElsXpv7OnjlKkoWMgqoPUOZNPaCKwiG3-qucrUp5uPUNyGTQAtHyW_igzs/s640/IMG_20150401_180516174.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Happy and Easy Bath!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I asked for tips in a group of twin moms and one Mom suggested using a deep and wide storage tote in the shower. A make-shift bath tub! Brilliant! I happened to have a large one just sitting in my room waiting to be filled with stuff. That night I threw it in the shower, filled it with water and popped them in after dinner.<br />
<br />
It was awful.<br />
<br />
For the first time ever they screamed and cried and tried to escape the whole bath time. Every time they tried to stand up they would slip and fall under the water which led to more hysterics. I won't even talk about what happened when I turned the shower on to rinse them. I pretty much resolved that we would just not bathe them ever again until we moved. If that meant we never left the house then so be it. I would not torture my babies because society thinks they need to be clean. Until we figured something else out it was baths in the baby pool out back!<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglEyG1GjD1VoWIsjbg_9YjkSydedRfIUshEjVxWmI5mNp0K8UYAkXI_g5G4fUSzDiIy6lh8NI_GHSY_JACFr3DGXYfDV0X7OtemC6SWCnyOnqhQZJiVv0aBmaC2g7VawNK_eykbaKqo78/s1600/IMG_20150613_172131727.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglEyG1GjD1VoWIsjbg_9YjkSydedRfIUshEjVxWmI5mNp0K8UYAkXI_g5G4fUSzDiIy6lh8NI_GHSY_JACFr3DGXYfDV0X7OtemC6SWCnyOnqhQZJiVv0aBmaC2g7VawNK_eykbaKqo78/s640/IMG_20150613_172131727.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How we took baths all summer!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Until the epically sticky poo-splosion of August 2015 (sorry for that visual). I had no choice. And yet I knew I couldn't put them through that again.<br />
<br />
So I tried one more thing. Instead of putting the tote in the dark and echo-filled shower, I put it in the middle of the bathroom and turned the heat on - yes, in August. Oh the things we do for our babies. I also ran the shower for a bit to warm up the room quickly. I had picked up a bath mat for the bottom of the tote to fix the slipperiness. I filled the tote with warm water and added their favorite toys and talked them through the whole thing while we got ready. I braced myself for the screams and slowly put them in.<br />
<br />
It was wonderful.<br />
<br />
They laughed and splashed and played and we had our first non-nerve-wracking bath in months.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg8v257aSLj976a-GHkoc52c5k1hx8L9ghqt3S8tp6m17ZufkVxRCVK9nQVH3mYDcI6U0Ro8fk-i4NFvrdOsj32Fsu3gb8ULZ1DHUVdgqnUnfrxp4xxozmck1xPe0Kwq4JuKPgK-YK434/s1600/IMG_20150828_180543799.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg8v257aSLj976a-GHkoc52c5k1hx8L9ghqt3S8tp6m17ZufkVxRCVK9nQVH3mYDcI6U0Ro8fk-i4NFvrdOsj32Fsu3gb8ULZ1DHUVdgqnUnfrxp4xxozmck1xPe0Kwq4JuKPgK-YK434/s640/IMG_20150828_180543799.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Success. No tears, no screams, happiness!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Until I tried to wash them. Up until then I had just used my hands and soap. But that was not an option with this glue-like poo (thank you solid foods). So I soaped up one of our washcloths and tried to wipe them off. I should have known better from the way they act like you're murdering them when you try to clean their faces after a meal but I didn't realize they would hate it so much. Ugh. I tried to talk them through it but in the end just pushed through what ended up being another miserable bath. As if that wasn't bad enough I watched in horror as Jules' skin flared up right before my eyes after washing it. It had taken us months to find a soap that didn't anger her skin and now I realized that even the gentlest soap would still hurt with the harshness of washcloths. I tried multiple cloths and every one was just too rough for her sensitive skin.<br />
<br />
I was at my wit's end.<br />
<br />
Then I got the chance to review these incredible <a href="http://amzn.to/1MoaIcH" target="_blank">bamboo washcloths</a> from <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Motherhood-Collection/926963267361114" target="_blank">The Motherhood Collection</a>. You guys, they're like butter. They are the softest, most luxurious washcloths I've ever felt. If you buy any washcloths for your baby, make sure it's these. Not only are they perfect for Jules' skin but cleaning is a breeze - they don't even act like they feel it! Instead of pulling away and crying they just let me do it, even with their faces after meals. I wish I had found them months ago!<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYrnp-xcSvR_3Y1qqnozovd5f9GVnJlhP3a_hTq-S23EiV-iNQKGd9yf6r2kv70JIIfG5hf3KJB7ORwwRN1gUDZB4_Stg3ohlhffQy5QYuHVYivmlTh0p9aI-AsjwRLuLHVYG0YUfhCdA/s1600/IMG_20151010_182814889.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYrnp-xcSvR_3Y1qqnozovd5f9GVnJlhP3a_hTq-S23EiV-iNQKGd9yf6r2kv70JIIfG5hf3KJB7ORwwRN1gUDZB4_Stg3ohlhffQy5QYuHVYivmlTh0p9aI-AsjwRLuLHVYG0YUfhCdA/s640/IMG_20151010_182814889.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My mother is paranoid and only let them have like 3 inches of water. They didn't care!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
I got a glimpse of how easy bath time could be when we gave them one at
my mom's. It almost made me cry with how easy and stress-free it was, how happy they were to have space to crawl around and play. If we could
do that every other night we would but for now, at 15 months in, I have finally found the winning combination for the perfect bath time without a tub:<br />
<ol>
<li>A storage tote from Wal-Mart placed in the middle of the warm bathroom. Use a removable shower head to fill it. We place towels under and around the tote to soak up water and to help move it over to the shower to empty it. </li>
<li>A soft suction cup bath mat from Wal-Mart. I just bought a standard size one and it fits pretty well with the sides folded against the side of the tote.</li>
<li>The cleanest, most hypo-allergenic soap we can find. For us it's <a href="http://amzn.to/1PsCcyL" target="_blank">Exederm</a>.</li>
<li>These <a href="http://amzn.to/1LZfSdI" target="_blank">amazing bamboo cloths</a> from The Motherhood Collection</li>
</ol>
<br />
I hope no one else has to go through all this drama just for clean kids, but if there's anyone out there struggling like us may you find some relief in what worked for us!<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-10815056320362730802015-11-02T16:25:00.001-05:002015-11-02T22:37:31.630-05:00Happy Halloween!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs7oVh3MIY5deDHH_F0H3j6J6E2AySLYOU1wPGMjVpdnvi8mb2-9rDM4zhoEED5_gWOlLbpRS0_R3nHQyhJP7B-inYOU36j5rzqAi-WzDKMSN1DyZ6oCpccvVQyUcvcVINWEaOfl_46eU/s1600/IMG_20151031_173146973.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs7oVh3MIY5deDHH_F0H3j6J6E2AySLYOU1wPGMjVpdnvi8mb2-9rDM4zhoEED5_gWOlLbpRS0_R3nHQyhJP7B-inYOU36j5rzqAi-WzDKMSN1DyZ6oCpccvVQyUcvcVINWEaOfl_46eU/s400/IMG_20151031_173146973.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It is impossible to get "great" family pictures these days but we got 3/4 of the way!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
What a great Halloween we had this year! We are loving having Daddy home all weekend and it was a great treat to have Halloween be on a Saturday so we could spend the whole day together.<br />
<br />
We started the day with spooky ghost pancakes for breakfast. I used a squeeze bottle to make ghost shapes and added blueberries or chocolate chips for eyes and a mouth. We finished painting our pumpkins and put them outside for trick or
treaters to enjoy. The girls painted theirs earlier in the week using
their fingers and brushes over tape resist J and V. I wish I could keep
them forever!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGQAnpm_KfNmUIwgc6crhcJU-BjJILI3UmWkimMH1FphH30Thu2gDkVCCuIX2wn7fGgDYSRBLJV3rWRvThP-WcgzDZgaMVIIxJ5IZ3eVkUFnx1-paHKpmEppQC41drcZAato3aMB0BNrE/s1600/halloweenrandom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGQAnpm_KfNmUIwgc6crhcJU-BjJILI3UmWkimMH1FphH30Thu2gDkVCCuIX2wn7fGgDYSRBLJV3rWRvThP-WcgzDZgaMVIIxJ5IZ3eVkUFnx1-paHKpmEppQC41drcZAato3aMB0BNrE/s640/halloweenrandom.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
Then we spent the day watching scary movies and listening to Halloween music while playing games and dressing up in silly outfits. We took our mandatory holiday glamour shots for <a href="http://instagram.com/beau_leo_twins" target="_blank">instagram</a> with our lion hoodies on. We even got to watch the city Halloween parade go right by our house - the girls LOVED that.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ0GVpCXaiB50SNmbH0LE_2VDgZX0fGXmdO_P0oGVfpRJl0ORrXay7Skz16NapI-Tn0uY54EZyV8Zc9B3TO-27tprBI_wCXySMJ4TscN_twkAq7hYPQUWyZ5t-MIT0HjdYvIk38_OJDJM/s1600/halloweengames.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ0GVpCXaiB50SNmbH0LE_2VDgZX0fGXmdO_P0oGVfpRJl0ORrXay7Skz16NapI-Tn0uY54EZyV8Zc9B3TO-27tprBI_wCXySMJ4TscN_twkAq7hYPQUWyZ5t-MIT0HjdYvIk38_OJDJM/s640/halloweengames.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
The best part about this year though - I actually made costumes for the girls - with some big help from my Mom. She made all of our costumes when we were kids and I knew she'd love to help make some for her granddaughters.<br />
<br />
We originally planned on the girls being companions to my niece's Pocahontas costume as Flit and Meeko. But then my niece changed her mind and wanted to be a princess instead. The weeks leading up to Halloween were so busy that I didn't even come up with them until the week before. I saw an adorable lion costume on Pinterest and since they're Leos I had to do it. I also found a few great DIY posts from <a href="http://thehappyhousewife.com/home-management/the-lion-costume/" target="_blank">The Happy Housewife</a> and <a href="http://www.tryitmom.com/2011/10/super-easy-diy-baby-lion-costume.html" target="_blank">Try It Mom</a> and borrowed some ideas and tips. I sent it over to my mom, she helped me buy the supplies and got it started.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLtb4YcEqWkEgwd7rOtCcvllOYddsoLWqe42eJgf9MEzIkuMSEjVyl8liw2nrrhEZ72CqO3VnW5G_pI9dU_AwvYc9n46GIxQQHhnBkSKu1bJffWCdAM4A8voxh_JrYNQ6xC1nP0WAqEe8/s1600/20151022_182810.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLtb4YcEqWkEgwd7rOtCcvllOYddsoLWqe42eJgf9MEzIkuMSEjVyl8liw2nrrhEZ72CqO3VnW5G_pI9dU_AwvYc9n46GIxQQHhnBkSKu1bJffWCdAM4A8voxh_JrYNQ6xC1nP0WAqEe8/s200/20151022_182810.jpg" width="163" /></a>We picked up two fleece hoodie and pant sets that were meant to be
monkeys. My mom bought two styles - one with ears and one without. We
ended up picking the one without ears and adding our own. My mom sewed tan fabric over the monkey face and the feet. She also added some shoelaces into the
hood to tie it. I cut out the
manes and we sewed them onto the hoods and a then added a tail. We painted their noses black and voila, two
little lions!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwPwaJB0Q5nFdJ63MgT9QVEKyNVcG5MIE1XH7zGopxS8se-eg4yRkYZ3VCrSRYeFd06FXtaV7FItqtY3XXyn81DOIYc6Hk0jAJY6wNrkNQTJOkxU8ErdEKRhnlOYEdk9x28zmcILwdZ3s/s1600/_20151031_182154.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwPwaJB0Q5nFdJ63MgT9QVEKyNVcG5MIE1XH7zGopxS8se-eg4yRkYZ3VCrSRYeFd06FXtaV7FItqtY3XXyn81DOIYc6Hk0jAJY6wNrkNQTJOkxU8ErdEKRhnlOYEdk9x28zmcILwdZ3s/s640/_20151031_182154.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Who's who? I feel like they become really identical when their heads are covered. But if you know our trick you'll know.</td></tr>
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I absolutely love the way they came out and I'm pretty proud of myself for finishing one completely on my own. I have only sewn a handful of times in my life so it was quite the accomplishment for me. It was also really frustrating and annoying at times. I had to start over three times due to stupid mistakes I kept making but I didn't give up and it came out great in the end!<br />
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<br />
We go Trick or Treating every year at my Dad's apartment complex. It's great because the management hands out signs for people to put on their doors letting trick or treaters know where to go and where to avoid, so no wasting time! We brought the wagon and the girls loved seeing everyone and making people smile. And of course getting candy. I'm not sure it will last until they can actually eat it so I'm doing my part by making sure none of it goes to waste!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF-411AmYvCGvPg5nLalksBPER2Xt9edR-kroEo-wgt7Kd8jiY2iyUeI0djfshJA0GZqXELo6OWV_zzsgSqoGPrs-tSGkHbDnr704jF63TPsFOvtXYKojOcRQDZ5Q7_9r4GcqLL7LQZvI/s1600/IMG_20151031_172822242.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="355" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF-411AmYvCGvPg5nLalksBPER2Xt9edR-kroEo-wgt7Kd8jiY2iyUeI0djfshJA0GZqXELo6OWV_zzsgSqoGPrs-tSGkHbDnr704jF63TPsFOvtXYKojOcRQDZ5Q7_9r4GcqLL7LQZvI/s640/IMG_20151031_172822242.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Renaissance Princess and her Little Beau-Leo Lions</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOXwpeBlyNOxnPxhyphenhyphenjEtuVAeeC5Sa9ZEOYI8pWiHRyPOnJrqZSfORVj4EoMaiv5ykdxeewLFuITq_MknXEE8ufi_ldsk8c-oWiZLk13nyYNEJK9Z7WWzAXNiUNkKzsTlX9gc_O2unPQHo/s1600/IMG_20151031_174529799.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOXwpeBlyNOxnPxhyphenhyphenjEtuVAeeC5Sa9ZEOYI8pWiHRyPOnJrqZSfORVj4EoMaiv5ykdxeewLFuITq_MknXEE8ufi_ldsk8c-oWiZLk13nyYNEJK9Z7WWzAXNiUNkKzsTlX9gc_O2unPQHo/s640/IMG_20151031_174529799.jpg" width="356" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Going .2 mph 'cuz they won't sit down!</td></tr>
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I'm already thinking about next year and tossing around some coordinating costumes instead of matching. They'll be walking so I think it will be even more fun for all of us. So far my favorite ideas are Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe, peanut butter and jelly (with us being the bread maybe?) or The Wicked Witch and Glinda The Good Witch. My sister and I wanted to have the 3 girls be the Sanderson sisters from Hocus Pocus and my nephew be Binx the black cat but Jillian quickly shot that down because the witches are "so mean!" I have a whole year to decide but I definitely won't be waiting until the last minute again!<br />
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We hope everyone had a great Halloween!<br />
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Xo,<br />
MaigenMaigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-50148123010679022632015-10-21T08:14:00.001-04:002015-10-21T11:37:52.600-04:00Because I have nothing better to write about here's some pics of the girls!<div style="text-align: left;">
I have the worst case of writer's block. </div>
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I have six "really ok" blogs ready to be tweaked and published but I hate all of them every time I read them. I don't know why. They're fine but every time I go back and get ready to post them I can't imagine hitting publish. They're just not that great. Or they're too long. Or a disorganized mess of thoughts with no point. I just don't like them.</div>
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It's like when you start to hate the sound of your own voice, you know? </div>
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Life has been busy - happily and wonderfully busy, but for the first time in my life I'm not able to stay up all night writing and wake up at 6am well rested. So we go to bed at like 10:30 now. And still wake up tired. We're old. And there's officially not enough hours in the day.</div>
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At least we're getting lots of snuggles lately from these two little love bugs.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh59Et_lDTOIw7W2-UhT_mKoOzfmR6-TbKNH-IJbmIu6vrY-J3KXhA_N5hM9LXpKI8nEHsQW7iK5-8O7Z__P6rljKqg6sYSq4oo3me0e3IfhPVATq-zJX4DELbTP-VSVWLwA3jRM-znPMg/s1600/octobersnuggles%25281%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="376" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh59Et_lDTOIw7W2-UhT_mKoOzfmR6-TbKNH-IJbmIu6vrY-J3KXhA_N5hM9LXpKI8nEHsQW7iK5-8O7Z__P6rljKqg6sYSq4oo3me0e3IfhPVATq-zJX4DELbTP-VSVWLwA3jRM-znPMg/s640/octobersnuggles%25281%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I am elbow deep in family history stuff right now and I really want to focus on that for a bit. There is so much
awesomeness that needs to be documented and digitized and I can't just let it sit in piles taking up space anymore. My mom gave me
some amazing albums of my great grandmother's family. Then my Dad gave
me an incredible family history written by my grandmother plus some
really important original documents that I've been searching for for
years. All of that plus the family history letter and file I received
last summer and my desire to participate in a genealogy do-over has me
totally overwhelmed. </div>
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It's hard and boring but so necessary. I have a goal to make something of it all for my grandmother that I've put
off for years and I'm determined to accomplish it this year. </div>
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Also, this is my favorite time of year to spend looking for <strike>dead people</strike> graves of relatives. Because fall + cemeteries = the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4X5pnLSb0nJmYOjbT6elH2mK2Fqxh_QoBxB-PMRftr0v-BNEZiS7QA7q2TlQebviz26nmhsyVzEILUDT_r6VF7Sk9wS6c5m-6xGFR0rgJm1iuyOec5CJd38tNsQ-f2k1qPLFxpTSCmjA/s1600/octobercemetery.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4X5pnLSb0nJmYOjbT6elH2mK2Fqxh_QoBxB-PMRftr0v-BNEZiS7QA7q2TlQebviz26nmhsyVzEILUDT_r6VF7Sk9wS6c5m-6xGFR0rgJm1iuyOec5CJd38tNsQ-f2k1qPLFxpTSCmjA/s640/octobercemetery.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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CJ got a great new job. He's happy. It's hard work but he loves the challenge and doesn't miss retail one bit. And the best part is that he's home on Saturdays for the first time since we
have been together, aside from when we were both unemployed. Yay for
family time! Last weekend we went to the pumpkin patch at Liberty Ridge Farm with Papa T, Aunt Kate, Uncle Justin and Jillian. It was awesome. </div>
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Our little red wagon from Grandpa Charlie was fantastic to have! It fit 3 kids and 3 pumpkins at one point with room to spare. What a great gift!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbzH1-xFefOAt4N64rG0tRYfIxCXoEvV7Tbo535Ak4sH-2s0qJgyKr7Yd4D5NkHZEJU6OF-tv-HrDQJUZ2p_3DC8xLsBJpyjM8fH3lyAKMy3-gQwmgDVQ9SXrm1KOdEULPWHnunuaP5wQ/s1600/pumpkinpatch.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbzH1-xFefOAt4N64rG0tRYfIxCXoEvV7Tbo535Ak4sH-2s0qJgyKr7Yd4D5NkHZEJU6OF-tv-HrDQJUZ2p_3DC8xLsBJpyjM8fH3lyAKMy3-gQwmgDVQ9SXrm1KOdEULPWHnunuaP5wQ/s640/pumpkinpatch.jpg" width="640" /></a> </div>
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We've been doing some super fun stuff at home too. I love having a big kid around to do activities with and then modifying them for the girls. We're exploring painting, chalk and markers, getting into new textures like play dough and shaving cream and the fall sensory bins have been a big hit all around.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim40MGdRLxhVDuj0cHHW0Mf0z9kSW_CdJuNw9NZCn8SyVE8Ko3NHcJmhpl2x77garhhjjSqMsOsDN7pP-hiVC0iHwCiWZWv3spEFF_HvqW-TtgrO7Zoj_Ipl4LYlmEaXWsaP0E7Xnwdm0/s1600/octoberart.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="552" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim40MGdRLxhVDuj0cHHW0Mf0z9kSW_CdJuNw9NZCn8SyVE8Ko3NHcJmhpl2x77garhhjjSqMsOsDN7pP-hiVC0iHwCiWZWv3spEFF_HvqW-TtgrO7Zoj_Ipl4LYlmEaXWsaP0E7Xnwdm0/s640/octoberart.jpg" width="640" /></a> </div>
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We are also taking in all the fall sights during our outside play.
The girls are just as into the colors (and the squirrels!) as we are. </div>
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One of our favorite adventures was visiting Queen Mab's Enchanted City in Troy a few weeks ago. A street festival of all things steampunk and magical there was so much for them to look at and enjoy. We can't wait to go back next year when the girls can dress as fairies and run around!</div>
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Jules is walking almost all the time now. Thank god she hasn't mastered it yet so she's much slower for the time being. Viv is getting there too but she can crawl so fast I don't know if she'll ever pick walking! They mastered going up and down stairs in one try at my mom's last week so good to know they can do that now too! They also had their first real bath in a real bathtub. I know, I know, at 14 months old, really?? I have a post in the works on how we bathe two babies with no bathtub. Maybe it'll get published someday.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimedoVU8Jqz_aeOCayQB8zBFD6QEihMnhB05AClUQDmtGkx7grjNwS68ub_6GSOjf4vGHF_hiF2udrJ44rCEUcOLvVXmRAOJ0298R1nikyfogh6cRIQmbbCD3tml-J0bkI_cfcuTANeVk/s1600/IMG_20151010_182814889.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimedoVU8Jqz_aeOCayQB8zBFD6QEihMnhB05AClUQDmtGkx7grjNwS68ub_6GSOjf4vGHF_hiF2udrJ44rCEUcOLvVXmRAOJ0298R1nikyfogh6cRIQmbbCD3tml-J0bkI_cfcuTANeVk/s640/IMG_20151010_182814889.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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They're using forks and spoons much of the time. Meals are still a total mess but now we have the added benefit of hoping they don't poke their own eyes out. Funny story: they stopped eating about 2 weeks ago. Flat out refused to eat anything other than grapes, pasta with sauce, cheese and crackers. Whatever, that's pretty much my diet too. I kept offering vegs but they just picked them over. One night I handed them a fork with a piece of broccoli on it. They ate it all, with the fork. And have ever since, as long as I give them a fork. They even spoon feed themselves soup, yogurt and applesauce. Uh, weren't they just babies?!</div>
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They're growing up so fast but are finally getting to that point when they're "so much fun" like all the veteran twin moms tell me. And it really is SO fun.</div>
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Someday I'll write something worthwhile again but until then photo heavy updates it is - they are my most popular posts anyway! </div>
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Xo,</div>
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Maigen</div>
Maigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-377536387665770222.post-25741556298215264522015-10-09T08:09:00.000-04:002015-10-09T08:13:06.800-04:00Finally Some Relief In Sight!Oops I did it again. I keep disappearing. Life as a work-at-home mom rather than just hanging out with my babies watching soaps all day (not a cliche, I may or may not have done just that for the last year) has been quite the adjustment. I'm exhausted by 10:30 most nights and all I want to do is chill after bedtime. This does not make for very good writing practices but I assume my body will catch up at some point. Until then here's an update on something that has driven me nuts for a long time. Plus some cute pics of my beebs from the last week.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr4mAexp6lwGYhroYHVcK5W7O-CUgJo6EqHwFJKEAh2dNvYs9sHRC_K3I2tE6erw2Yb9ofmll83qyckQdijiVL5Jid1NAx6-6wH9RaMW7zwU-8ArXovEe3yxca9HlxTEC5AfG3XbTHuRk/s1600/IMG_20151006_081452330.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr4mAexp6lwGYhroYHVcK5W7O-CUgJo6EqHwFJKEAh2dNvYs9sHRC_K3I2tE6erw2Yb9ofmll83qyckQdijiVL5Jid1NAx6-6wH9RaMW7zwU-8ArXovEe3yxca9HlxTEC5AfG3XbTHuRk/s640/IMG_20151006_081452330.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The bane of my existence for 12 months. The spot, not the cute baby.</td></tr>
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When Jules was about six weeks old she developed a small, bright red spot on her right cheek that had me totally freaked out. I immediately called her Pediatrician and scheduled another appointment (we'd already been there 3 times for check ups and once for me to get permission to stop supplementing). We went over what I'd been eating as she was bottle feeding my pumped milk, any new soaps, detergents, lotions we'd been using and any other changes that had been made. The doctor chalked it up to eczema, gave me some eucerin and aquaphor and sent me on my way. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNWrOaB42y_25pi2nxh_wCbEdY36a9j7OOUOUBwcUKdPo5_IT35UxwdubcVzW_rOwIXzIcGXU2VihJm1I6t3NnPgmg8Q112yzYTR7eAhr1ljGbjUU0yNA3_AK3Zl6OJ1f0okrYKrBwIiM/s1600/IMG_20151004_183401906.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNWrOaB42y_25pi2nxh_wCbEdY36a9j7OOUOUBwcUKdPo5_IT35UxwdubcVzW_rOwIXzIcGXU2VihJm1I6t3NnPgmg8Q112yzYTR7eAhr1ljGbjUU0yNA3_AK3Zl6OJ1f0okrYKrBwIiM/s400/IMG_20151004_183401906.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cuties blowing raspberries on the climber</td></tr>
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Initially the creams cleared up the spot but it still came and went with no rhyme or reason and would flare up randomly. I've asked about it at every check up and am always told the same thing. At about six months old it cleared up from the right side and two weeks later was back in full force on the left side of her face.<br />
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I started to do some research and found a number of things to try on my own:<br />
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I started using a cortizone cream mixed with aquaphor and a+d ointment. It
worked until it didn't anymore. Just like everything else. No matter, the pediatrician warned me not to use cortizone because it thins the skin. Awesome. It's still the only thing that does work so I use it sparingly and just keep the spot as moist as I can with a+d and aquaphor in between.<br />
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I also introduced a probiotic into her diet with her daily yogurt and that
actually worked really well at first. I should have started this sooner since she was on an anti-biotic (prophylactic, since UTIs can be a complication of hydronephrosis) since she was 12 days old but I was told by nurses in both the NICU and at the Ped that it wasn't necessary at her age and to let the anti-biotic do its' job (!?!?)<br />
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Almost immediately after eating it for the first time her face cleared up. There was still a shadow and a pinhead size dot but
I was amazed at how much better it looked. But then it was back
again just a few days later. Some days the pro-biotic seems to work better than others but since that first batch it has yet to clear it up almost completely. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpotaZJco4vAxDceJ1EYU8_MzR7N3ZCObQG1NZ2kd3BLb71lIsxdsX-0vCxrZa1oJRXCE1d4EnI6Jd1XwWUI2CCsyDRdiFdXW58BYOty4Hh1vTx4juqRsqybZOXgQ5V6HmHJJZxFHZJLg/s1600/_20151005_225359.JPG" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpotaZJco4vAxDceJ1EYU8_MzR7N3ZCObQG1NZ2kd3BLb71lIsxdsX-0vCxrZa1oJRXCE1d4EnI6Jd1XwWUI2CCsyDRdiFdXW58BYOty4Hh1vTx4juqRsqybZOXgQ5V6HmHJJZxFHZJLg/s400/_20151005_225359.JPG" width="241" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Is that you or is that me?"</td></tr>
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Then I stumbled upon the idea that it could be food allergy related. I asked the doctor if we should have her tested for allergies and they
shrugged me off, telling me it wasn't worth the time or pain for her,
that we would know by now if she was allergic to something other than eggs (which she reacted to at 6 months but is a very common childhood allergy). I joined a group on facebook for children with food allergies and sensitivities and I met someone whose child had the exact same spot that was caused by food allergies. Her doctors kept shrugging her off like mine until he developed a horrible infection. That was it for me, I called the allergist the next day.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
We had her testing done Tuesday and guess what? It's <i>not</i> food allergy related.<br />
<br />
It is a freaking infection. In her face. And considering it has looked this bad since March it might have been there since then. Eating food didn't hurt it per se but it didn't help it either with the constant irritation over the spot. Just bad luck I guess? Nope. <br />
<br />
The way the doctor explained it was that it likely <i>started out</i> as eczema from which she developed a small crack in her skin. At some point this was exposed to something nasty, most likely staph, which got underneath her skin. All the creams in the world could help clear up the rash itself but none of them were targeting the cause of the problem.<br />
<br />
His treatment? A week or so of an antibiotic cream 3 times a day along with a stronger cortizone cream to soothe the rash and a preventive slathering of aquaphor on her cheeks before eating or whenever it looks dry. He said it will likely disappear completely within a week.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFcOTOxcXfW9TN9OGEBd6H4v3vmBXsDg9whi-T1eUTinH0Hw8KhpB6Kqt6Bi554MJsjs1PiLXZ2pv2mHqGaZkVMDn_Lmkg9lxuL86FKl7Z6eNJupBRRxyxXY8xBQmx7dVO-q0256d3-FA/s1600/IMG_20151007_163844384.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFcOTOxcXfW9TN9OGEBd6H4v3vmBXsDg9whi-T1eUTinH0Hw8KhpB6Kqt6Bi554MJsjs1PiLXZ2pv2mHqGaZkVMDn_Lmkg9lxuL86FKl7Z6eNJupBRRxyxXY8xBQmx7dVO-q0256d3-FA/s400/IMG_20151007_163844384.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Viv says Hooooooraaaayyyy for Sissy! </td></tr>
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<br />
Halle-freaking-lujiah.<br />
<br />
One thing I've noticed is that I always said the spot never really
bothered her - except when I tried to put her cream on it. She'd scream
and thrash and push it away. After 2 applications of the antibiotic
cream she has completely stopped doing that. I put the aquaphor on
before she eats and she lets me with no problem. I put the cortizone on and she actually leans into it, letting me rub it in. It probably hurt like hell and irritated it further because she had a damn infection and I didn't know it. I just wanted desperately to heal it I forced her to sit through it. Now that it's healing I'm not hurting her anymore and she doesn't mind. Kills me.<br />
<br />
I am happy to finally have some answers but I am so frustrated that it took so long and at the idea that something could have been done months ago to help her.<br />
<br />
I'm upset that I had to go to the extreme of having her poked 9 times in the back and further grow her detest for doctor's offices. <br />
<br />
I'm pissed as hell at the idea that this was missed by the professionals, who did not listen to me when I explained that it was not responding to their treatments, that it just kept getting worse, the ones who just kept pushing the creams and who warned me <i>not</i> to use cortizone or neosporin (the ONLY things that worked) because it would thin and further irritate her skin.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnxFh4PGolXdjKmb8j_YpC5MfJo-sE8upCZ_8m4pmC3CuY3WZ9tiFz4-fjTB3rtmZ_ZuquJpKV6NGKhPyD6KZpgcqHhSWJ5vV8_rT1ZILmw0QhAhpdisWAnhrejwb3oh70tF2mZOD6sg0/s1600/IMG_20151008_080409606.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnxFh4PGolXdjKmb8j_YpC5MfJo-sE8upCZ_8m4pmC3CuY3WZ9tiFz4-fjTB3rtmZ_ZuquJpKV6NGKhPyD6KZpgcqHhSWJ5vV8_rT1ZILmw0QhAhpdisWAnhrejwb3oh70tF2mZOD6sg0/s400/IMG_20151008_080409606.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cracker Thieves!</td></tr>
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<br />
Why wasn't this ever even brought up? Why didn't I know better and ask for a second opinion from the get go? I mean the girl has been in and out of multiple hospitals, emergency rooms and doctors offices since birth. The idea that she could have picked up an infection anywhere isn't so far-fetched. And really, if it was truly eczema and I was taking every measure to prevent exposure to irritants (including buying all the mega expensive "free" and "natural" soaps, lotions and detergents, experimenting with her diet and offering g-free and dairy-free foods, etc.) wouldn't it have cleared up at some point?<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJOB02p-SUvKStA-3cYCrbdEq5agqAfKtYWr05RCMmFFjSPnYousCU6eCD46Tf9HjnG0qWqbby4VFlS1vaKTUkps5gealUj7Brmr67cweoCI7Pp4Acf-628Mxzaa8oVV1mmPMjHnrYpqw/s1600/IMG_20151008_175426639.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJOB02p-SUvKStA-3cYCrbdEq5agqAfKtYWr05RCMmFFjSPnYousCU6eCD46Tf9HjnG0qWqbby4VFlS1vaKTUkps5gealUj7Brmr67cweoCI7Pp4Acf-628Mxzaa8oVV1mmPMjHnrYpqw/s400/IMG_20151008_175426639.jpg" width="223" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Out, out damned spot! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I'll get over it. And I'm so happy to finally have an answer. I just wish it didn't have to take almost 14 months to get one.<br />
<br />
It already looks a bazillion times better. She has completely stopped rubbing it, is sleeping better and I can tell she <i>feels</i> better. Finally!<br />
<br />
If there is one thing I've learned it's that you need to trust your gut when it comes to your kids. I knew 8 months ago that something more serious was going on and I didn't say anything for fear of looking like a crazy, overbearing Mom who got her medical degree from Google. But I was right and I wish I had advocated for my child sooner. Lesson learned!<br />
<br />
Xo,<br />
Maigen<br />
<br />
<br />Maigenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10365535421587141024noreply@blogger.com0