April 14, 2015

C-Section Mamas Unite! Just not for the wrong reason please!

Ok something has been going around the internet for a few weeks and I have to address it in one of my late night ramblings.

Have you heard of The Disciples of The New Dawn yet?

Probably not. Unless you're a parent, then you might have come across the the c-section shaming memes that have been cropping up, riling the pants off the online parenting community. Or maybe you've read an article berating the "religious group" for calling c-section moms lazy.

Like this beauty right here:

http://media.parentsociety.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/02125207/C-Section-Shaming-meme.jpg

If you haven't seen it yet, there you go. If you have, I'm sure you went through the same emotions I did initially:

Anger - "Wtf? Oh, eff that!"
Denial - "No, no way, that can't be real. That's just horrible."
Confusion - "Why the hell would anyone write something like that!?"

If you're normal, you may have penned an angry comment in response or bitched to your husband about the audacity of these people and moved on with your day.

I'm not normal. I did not want to share my feelings just yet. I was curious. I immediately googled these Disciples of the New Dawn characters.

According to this article The Disciples of the New Dawn claim to have been established in 1956 and is run by Father Patrick Oliver Embry. They have some lovely feelings about everything including divorce, witches, pit bulls and natural child birth. It's all blood boiling and we would have a right to be irate if this group of people were actually believing this bullshit they are spreading all over the interwebs.

Alas, it turns out, it's satire. All of it. I've noticed a lot of people don't know (or care) what that means so here you go:

sat·ire ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/, noun - the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

One brilliant woman figured this out as well:
"The guy who runs the fundamentalist Christian New-World-Order-conspiracy-theory-driven webpage 'Disciples of the New Dawn' lists his alleged name as Patrick Oliver Embry. His initials are...
(drum-roll please)
P.O.E
The guy literally *is* a poe.
Urban Dictionary defines a "poe" as:
A person who writes a parody of a Fundamentalist that is mistaken for the real thing."

Whoever or whatever these DotND people are it's likely they created these memes with the specific intention of eliciting big reactions and pissing people of. And of course it worked.

They are essentially the worst kind of trolls, the ones who drop a nice fat drama bomb and then run for the hills.

At the very least we can hope their intention was to bring to light how ludicrous it is to judge parents for anything at all, let alone a completely safe and often medically necessary alternative to typical child birth.

No matter what their reasoning was, the parenting community at large fell for it. Thousands and thousands of women sat typing their angry rebuttals, their success and sad stories, their justifications for undergoing a completely acceptable procedure for the completely understandable reason of having a baby inside them and needing to get it out safely. What's sad, is that these women are sharing under the false impression that someone who truly believes c-sections are wrong created this hurtful, hate-filled message. It stings that it found its' way into our safe zone, where we connect with other parents. They feel violated and judged and they have a right to be angry, well they would, if it were real.

But it's not.

I'm not saying there's no one out there who feels this way. There are absolutely people out there who do, as unbelievable as it is. Hell, I didn't believe the Westboro Baptist Church could possibly be real when I first heard of it. There are some seriously fucked up people out there who believe horrible things in the name of whatever holy deity they think rules us all. If they didn't exist out there, somewhere, this meme wouldn't make much sense. In fact, it would be truly cruel and downright pointless.

But, and you have to remember this - the people who really feel this way are probably not wasting their time creating enraging memes for facebook. They probably don't even have facebook. They're judging you, just not like this.

The Disciples of The New Dawn are wasting their time creating enraging memes for facebook but they, most likely, do NOT believe this.  Every angry tirade aimed at them in the last few weeks has probably fallen on deaf ears. They're assholes, for sure. But they're mostly just shit stirrers.  Are they religious extremists? No. Do they really believe that women who had a c-section are lazy or that "God does not give credit for incomplete work"? NO!!

They are probably some bored college kids who just want to watch the world burn for a quick laugh and some entertainment while pointing out some of the pretty effed up opinions of religious extremists (who, again, are not likely to be sitting at home dreaming up their next inciting meme).

A funny thing is happening though, and maybe this was DoTND's original intention - people are starting to pay attention to the issues at large that this meme illustrates. It's not that this overt c-section shaming is happening everywhere, but there is an undercurrent of judgement in the mom community. As much as some people would like to say the mommy wars don't exist, I personally have witnessed enough first hand to know otherwise, although it is usually at hands of an "extremist" mom, as it often is with religion and politics. You know what I mean. Women who have never had or dreamed of having a c-section are showing their support and expressing admiration for the moms who are feeling victimized and judged.  Moms are educating others, sharing their own sometimes terrifying or heartbreaking stories while also encouraging and supporting each other despite their anger. 

Check it out:

"Lol crazy! Having had 4 vaginal including one of my twins and the second twin C-section I give props to anyone that has C-section. It is the worst ever."

"If I didn't really give birth can someone please remove the three children currently screaming about some bullshit I don't care about? Obviously there was a mix up at the hospital."

"Oh, when women go there, I just get equally ridiculous. I tell them that they're just jealous that my vagina still looks fabulous after birthing 8lb and 10lb babies and I didn't have to do any actual work. Plus, I got to be high as balls for that first week after the kid came out, y'know since with major surgery an all."

"While I don't agree with a lot of c-sections, any person who brings new life into this world gives birth. How they do it is their own issue not anyone else's but they should always be supported." 

And this lovely response:

"Birth is required to be born....which is required to be alive....ghost babies?"  

So, something that was meant to be divisive (but remember it wasn't really) is building bridges and opening our eyes to the fact that no matter how it happened we have children to raise and we're all doing the best we can and it's a much happier and easier job to do if we're just accepting and supportive of each other.

Well played, Disciples. Well played.

So there it is. Please people. Stop sharing it. Comment if you must but with full understanding that it is SATIRE. PLEASE DON'T FEED THE TROLLS!

Xo,
Maigen

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