Twin Toddler Obsessions: Freaking Pentatonix

"I have created a monster."

Many parents said that to me while we tried to figure out how to channel their kid's newest obsession.  Obsessions, or fixations, are a natural part of life with toddlers. It's why they throw tantrums over the color of a cup or why you have to read the same book 17 times a day. Sometimes they are innocent, other times they can be dangerous, but they are always totally normal.

Toddlers are crazy. And what's the definition of crazy? Doing something over and over and expecting different results. In the case of a toddler, though, it's a good crazy since they are learning, exercising their sense of control and it can be a comfort to them.  But that doesn't mean it's not annoying as hell for busy parents and caregivers.

I once cared for a girl who absolutely had to be the one to open and close any door or cabinet within a 15 food radius. If she saw you close even a drawer she'd start stomping her feet and demand to do it. I then had to sit and watch her do it over and over and over until she was ready to move on. It was cute and usually not a big deal but in a room of 12 kids it was not the most convenient obsession.

We are in this fun little phase and while it's mostly great, they are learning so much and I love letting them explore, there is one thing I am sooo sick of:  Pentatonix. YouTube them if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Super random but here's a little backstory:

I wrote before how I want to help them develop a love for not just music but singing as well. Music is a big part of our days and I love browsing for good instrumental lists that match the feel of our day or just putting on some RadioDisney for an impromptu dance party. But my favorite thing is to put on songs that I love to sing along to - don't judge me, it's all I have some days! So around Christmas I played all my favorites around the clock including Pentatonix's PTXmas and That's Christmas to Me albums. Then one day I discovered I could use YouTube on the TV and found the PTX videos.  They were immediately sucked in, more than anything I'd ever put on the TV before, even though it's just people they don't even know standing around and singing.

And that's the day I signed my life away to a semi-famous acapella group. PTX has played almost non-stop in my house for a good three months and as much as I loved them I now want to cut my own ears off. 

They can't see my phone or computer or TV without patting their chests and ooooooohing or shouting "SHOES!" at the top of their lungs. Because their most favorite songs are White Winter Hymnal, a beautiful arrangement of the Fleet Foxes song (which they hate by the way) and The Wizard of Ahhhs, a mash-up musical type thing based on the Wizard of Oz by Todrick Hall and Pentatonix. It includes samples of everything from Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Daughtry to Kanye and Motley Crue. It's totally not something I ever thought a kid would be into but they absolutely love it.

So why are they walking around yelling "Shoes!" you ask? Well aside from their other recent obsession with wearing shoes ALL THE TIME, that's the one part of this video they have glommed on to. Remember in the movie, when the first Wicked Witch dies and Glinda the Good Witch gets those ruby red shoes for Dorothy? This scene is summed up in just the repetition of one word (guess which one) inspired by Kelly and her shoes. (Warning: Language! This is not a kid's song! My children do not know this video exists although I'm sure they will someday.) So when they need their fix it's all about the "SHOES!" Also, I guess shoes is probably easier for them to say than Pentatonix.

SHOES.

I love that they love to dance and hum and ooooh and I'd be lying if I didn't admit to using it as a distraction when I need to pee in peace on a rough day or when they need a pick me up. But this is getting ridiculous. They won't watch regular kids shows (although Mr. Rogers does work sometimes, until they realize his singing isn't exactly up to their standards.) We've tried putting on the music videos of our favorites but they did not share our appreciation for classic rock or country. Now when we try to play something else we just get "the look," some chest patting and "SHOOOOOES!" Usually I just give in and play it once so they're happy and we can move on with our day.

I'm treating it like I have always dealt with quirky toddler obsessions: embracing and allowing it since it's mostly harmless (to them, I might go insane), setting limits and using it as a chance for them to learn. What are they learning? Well, I'm not exactly sure but maybe they have a future in musical theater? Maybe they'll win a singing competition and be semi-superstars! For now I'm just hoping to catch an adorable video of them dancing and singing along to PTX - hey, maybe we'll go viral! That just might make it worth it, right?

What are some of your kids' obsessions or quirks that were tolerable at times but eventually drove you crazy? Share in the comments or let us know on our Facebook page!

 

Xo,

Maigen

The Struggle Is So Real - But So Worth It

It's been a long time.

The last month has been the longest of my life. I really think it was worse than my last month pregnant with twins and their first month of life.

The wonderful chaos of toddler twins punched into high gear a few weeks ago and I kind of lost my footing in this here parenting game. Like always, just as I started to feel like I knew what the hell I was doing they decide to switch up the rules and I'm caught totally unprepared and overwhelmed.

Up until last week they were up to pretty typical toddler stuff - throwing food and eating like birds, testing limits and into absolutely everything. Seriously who thought it was a good idea to put outlets at a baby's eye level? Thank you for making my life just that much more difficult. But then, the cold and boredom of winter started to set in and all of a sudden my babies were miserable. Without a car, leaving the house is not an option when it's only 15 degrees outside. We were all starting to go a little crazy. Luckily I have 32 years of experience channeling that crazy. Toddlers just embrace it in the purest form - it is sheer madness.

And then, we all got sick. Horrible colds for all of us that ended in double ear infections for them. I spent more time on the couch nursing and snuggling them than I ever have. It was both amazing and exhausting but we survived fine the first few days. Until the sleep regression, possible growth spurt and teething hit (oh hey 2 year molars, you're a bit early!)  All of a sudden I had these incredibly willful, but bored, sleep deprived, pained and feverish babies on my hands, all by myself, for a week. R wasn't even here as his Mom just had her baby girl. I am not even going to lie, I almost lost my bits.

That is not easy for me to admit. Most people probably wouldn't bat an eye but for 19 months I have worked so so hard to change every damn thing I know about effective parenting, all those bad habits and stupid nonsensical tips and tricks that I picked up working in daycares.  I'm trying to shed my skin as an old-school authoritarian drill sergeant who yells waaay too much and overuses time out, counting, consequences and lectures.  Basically, I want nothing to do with how most people raise their kids or how I spent years raising other people's kids.

I am changing the very foundation of how I believe children should be treated. It has been a long and arduous process of breaking habits and associations, dealing with my own triggers and experiences as a child and consuming everything I can about how to raise healthy, happy, well-adjusted and kind people.

I have been challenged and side-eyed by nearly everyone I know, including my husband. Like when Jules grabs a toy out of Viv's hands and instead of shouting "No!" and making her give it back, I simply say, "Viv had the toy and now Jules has it." and wait. Or when I didn't stop them from climbing full staircases at a year old. Or how I will flat out tell you to please refrain from telling my child that she is ok and to stop crying. It's different to many people, hell it was all new to me just a few years ago, but it has worked and it feels right and damn if I don't believe in my heart that it is the best thing I can do for my babies. That we ALL can do for ALL our babies.

(I will eventually write more about what I believe now but check out Robin Einzig at Visible Child, Janet Lansbury at Elevating Childcare, Sarah Ockwell Smith at Gentle Parenting and the team over at Respectful Parent for now.)

But in the last month, all of my hard work being so patient, engaging and gentle went up in smoke as they tested my very last nerves. I swear they cried and nursed more than they have in the prior 18 months combined. They are demanding, indecisive, frustrated and wild. They hit, me and each other and the cats and my Mom. They scream and run away and fall apart over the color of a cup or a serving of peas. They feed off each other and push every limit I set multiple times an hour. They are killing my desire to be kind to them.

This month was hard. They were hard. So fucking hard. Every single thing was a battle. From wiping noses and giving medicine to going to bed and getting a diaper change. Personal care activities were my own personal hell. They are smart and know what they want and unless I time it exactly perfectly that shit is not getting done. If you're rolling your eyes and judging me then gtfo. Or better yet, come try to work your magic one day. I dare you. Here's the catch: you can't yell at, punish or otherwise try to "train" my kids. Still think you can do it?

I don't blame you if you think I'm crazy/stupid/a bad mom. Hell if I didn't know better I'd probably be saying the same thing and calling them spoiled, bold or even bad. Three years ago I would have agreed with you, all shaking my head and giving myself a pep talk to get it together and get these little shits in line. I'm the boss here, who do they think they are, right? If I would just make them do it no matter how they feel, no matter what I have to say or do, then they would be good and I'd be a good mom. Even if it was the result of threats and humiliation and isolation and emotional manipulation. Because that's how you don't raise assholes, right?

Thankfully I do know better now. And instead of turning tail on all I have learned, instead of reverting back to punishments and losing my shit on them, I dug in deeper and recommitted to being a present, gentle and respectful mother. I worried every minute that it was going to backfire, that the naysayers were right, but I kept on the path.

And finally, when I was feeling the most discouraged after yet another hard morning and yet another lecture about how I need to be "harsh" and "tough" on them, I came across this in the Visible Child group on facebook:

It completely affirmed the choice I have made to view them as intelligent, capable people worthy of compassion and kindness, rather than the spawn I must beat into obedience.

It affirmed every battle that I diffused with empathy or avoided with gentle guidance,

every soul-torturing minute I waited for them to do it rather than rushing in and doing it myself,

every agonizing tantrum that I acknowledged with kindness while offering support for those big emotions,

every time I used real words in response to their frustrated screams when they knew exactly what they wanted but just couldn't tell me.

I just kept shining, even when I felt like I was nearing the end of my rope.

I stayed committed to showing love, patience, kindness and above all, respect.

And finally, just today actually, we reached the turning point. It actually paid off and I am so freaking glad it did.

They are feeling better and sleeping more and it was gorgeous outside and I swear the sun brought us back to life. But the best part of it all? They are talking. So so much. All of a sudden they know words and things and can talk to us! Not only that but they are actually hearing and understanding us now! I know we're a little late the party by typical standards but I have tried so hard not to force them to communicate and I'm so freaking excited I could not care less how "delayed" it may be.

We actually went for a walk  - as in they walked and held my hands when I asked them to. Granted it was only to the neighbors but if you'd told me a week ago we'd be doing that I'd have laughed in your face. They are being silly and playful again. Not only do they feel good but something has changed and they are so aware now, it's incredible. They bridged the gap and opened up a whole new wonderful world. For the first time in their lives we are finally speaking the same language.

This I can handle. Contrary to most people I actually think 2 year olds are less challenging than babies and young toddlers (dear god I pray that is the case here but I know it's not likely given our track record.)  Either way, for the first time since getting pregnant I find myself in pretty familiar territory as they've gone from babbling, erratic babies (I am so not a baby person) to talking, intelligent toddlers.

I am in my element and so ready to embrace this wonder-filled time of their lives. And the best part is that I am finally confident in my ability to parent effectively without aggression, shame, unnecessary/arbitrary consequences and punishment. Because, would you look at that, despite the hardships and the side-eyes of others, we're all thriving.

No, we're shining.  Here are some pics to prove it.

Xo,
Maigen

Keeping Traditions Alive: Our First Sick Bowl

Happy Superbowl Sunday! We don't really watch football anymore since cutting out cable but we're using our antenna to get the game because what else are you going to do after a dreadful sick-filled Sunday?  Also, did you happen to catch a Giants game this season? From what I hear, I'm kind of glad we missed them.

Anyway, while I'm battling a super fun cold and pretty much down for the count (thankfully I can still type!) we also fought another nasty little war today: toddler puke. Clearly I won't go into too much detail but suffice to say we got to initiate the family tradition (at least in mine) of quickly choosing the best receptacle to contain the worst mess ever (seriously it's like toddlers try to get it everywhere). We designated it forever more the sick bowl before cleaning and sanitizing it and hiding it under the sink for the next use. Which will hopefully not be for a very long time. Although I have a sinking feeling it will be sooner.

Yes, we keep our sick bowls. If you don't then good for you but bad for your food storage since you obviously cannot reuse it after for anything else other than sick! Mine growing up was a nice, deep, green tupperware container. Tonight we opted for the wide but shallow popcorn bowl. RIP popcorn bowl. Dad chose wisely since we never use it anymore and it served it's job well and will hopefully last us a while.

Ugh, ok I'm grossing myself out now.

You can just tell it's been a fun day. CJ is a champ though, I even got a nap in!

But my poor Viv. It might be post nasal drip or a bug or it might be a side effect of the vaccinations she received on Friday. She hasn't kept much down all day. If it continues after 24 hours I'll call the Dr. but she's otherwise fine so I'm not worried.

Meanwhile we are scarred for life after our first and second bouts with this freaking mess. I am absolutely dreading her being sick in the mega-crib tonight since we'll have to get them both up, clean everything and and I'll nurse them before trying to lay them back down. They will likely end up in a pack and play or my bed tonight so I can clean while they go back to sleep. And I know it'll be an hour long process at least. We've never really dealt with truly sick babies in our last 18 months so I'm scared! But hey, at least we'll get to cross a few new parenting experiences off our list in one day. Bright side, right?

In other news, they finally broke 20 lbs! And at about 31.5 inches each they're officially on the growth curve for the first time in their lives. The Doctor is super happy with their size and says they seem healthy - since she could barely get close enough to look at them. Apparently no amount of gentle talking to and reminders or role-playing will prepare an 18 month old for the Doctor. They lost their damn minds as soon as they spotted the stethoscope.  I'm pretty sure Jules' traumatic experiences trigger her and Viv just goes along for the ride. I'm praying the next visit is better otherwise I worry our lovely nurses and PA, JoAnn, won't let us back!

Keep us in your thoughts tonight since I seriously need a good night sleep to feel better myself and send healing vibes so my girl feels better too!

Xo,
Maigen

Making Peace With The Regret

It's going to be quite the exciting few weeks around here. We have lots of big changes coming this Spring with new babies! My sister is due in just a few weeks with our little man and my best friend is due mid-March with her first baby girl. I am over the moon for them and so looking forward to all the newborn snuggles and cuteness to come.

My brain is being all logical and I know I do NOT want another baby, I know, I know, I know, but my heart is like, waaah, don't you want to have another baby? No, I do not have baby fever. I have... labor fever? Normal pregnancy fever? I don't know what you would call it, but I'm wishing there was a way that I could just carry and deliver my own baby without having to actually raise and pay for another child. God, that sounds awful. Hear me out ok?

Exactly two years ago this week I was forced to reconsider everything I thought I knew about pregnancy and childbirth. I had to make decisions about things that I never envisioned myself having to even think about.  For someone who likes to be prepared and have things organized and planned out due to potentially debilitating anxiety, this was obviously the worst thing ever. Worse yet, all the things I knew I wanted and all my knowledge of how to have a safe, natural, hell, even just normal a childbirth experience, were no longer in my best interest. Essentially, I would have to change everything or risk losing what I now knew was not just a baby but identical twins.

I don't think I need to tell you how much that sucked.

I planned my perfect pregnancy and birth years before we were even married. I have Ricki Lake to thank for a lot of it, thanks to her film The Business of Being Born. I'm still so grateful for the perspective that movie gave me. It challenged everything I knew about giving birth in America and helped me make informed choices as I began learning so much about real child birth and what we are capable of. Today, I am proud of the choices I would have made but heartbroken that I may never get to use them.

After getting that big fat positive I called my midwives to schedule our first appointment and started planning and researching my baby's birthday. I felt in control, ready to face this challenge and reap the benefits of one of the most natural and amazing experiences a human can have.

Three weeks later we met with the home birth midwives from HeartSpace Midwifery and decided that I would have a home birth as long as everything looked great on the ultrasound the following week. I started looking into tips and tricks, working on getting CJ more comfortable with letting me put a birthing pool in the living room. I would use hypno-birth techniques and water and be ready to deliver whenever baby was ready. I would feel every contraction and try to embrace the insanity, all hopefully in the comfort of my home with my husband, a doula and my midwife there to welcome our little love. We would do delayed cord-clamping and immediate skin-to-skin. We would slowly begin nursing and cloth diapering and spend a few days just bonding before anyone else got too close. I had back-up plans, including two hospitals within five minutes of my house, but I wasn't worried. I was ready to do this.

I saw my original midwives for the ultrasound a week later. We were in there for all of two minutes when that home birth plan dissolved right before my eyes. Yeah, there was no way in hell was I going to deliver twins at home. Sure some people do it. Some people also deliver them spontaneously on the side of the road (identicals at that), but I couldn't do it. I wasn't willing to take the risk.

While adjusting to the news that we were having two we also settled on Delivery Plan B: our amazing midwife would deliver them at the local birthing center and I could still labor in the water and would have complete control and minimal intervention as long as everything went well. They were prepared for everything, there was no need to worry. I was referred to a Maternal Fetal Monitoring Specialist just because they were twins but otherwise I had no indication that my plans would change yet again.

A week later we were in Dr. Margono's office when he basically laid it all out there and crushed my hopes and dreams. I know, I'm being melodramatic, but to this day I still feel like this one man, amazing and wonderful as he was, created my birth plan for me and I was to stick to it or suffer the potential consequences. It wasn't really him though - it was the identical twins. My babies, the ones for which I would already do anything, at just 10 weeks pregnant, changed everything on me just because they shared a placenta.

After an intense and seemingly hours long ultrasound, Dr. M. explained exactly how the next 7 months of my life would go, right up through the birth of my children:

- I would have bi-weekly ultrasounds starting at 16 weeks - these scans included extensive anatomy, growth and fluid screenings to monitor for complications such as TTTS, TAPS and sIUGR.

- I would be changing my doctor because my midwife did not have privileges at a hospital with at least a Level II NICU

- I would deliver at 35 weeks no matter what. Whether I was induced or had a scheduled c-section was my choice (yay!) but Dr. Margono, as well as my new OB, believed it was in my best interest to deliver at 35 weeks. Current recommendations are that identical twins deliver by 36.6 weeks.

I never felt so weird in my life. I'm really lacking in my descriptive words right now but this experience is still so surreal to me, it's hard to explain. A forced hospital birth? Just like that!? Inducing FIVE weeks early? What the what? Possible NICU time? Really?! What the hell man? And here I thought having two babies was going to be fun!

I kid. I never thought that. But I won't lie and say I wasn't kind of psyched at the prospect of taking my carefully crafted birth plan and throwing a second baby into it just for fun. But that just wasn't meant to be.

I tried to roll with the punches but I very much did not want my babies to be induced at 35 weeks. I regret that choice and not a day goes by that I don't wonder what if? But everything I had learned after years of research told me that it wasn't right. I didn't want to put my body, or my babies, through that. Selective induction was something I was absolutely against from the get-go and avoidance of it was an integral part of my birth plan.

I wanted this experience in a way that was best for both my babies and my body. Of course, I can make a case for inducing when you're way overdue, but I just cannot jive with the idea of forcing something like the birth of a child who, by all medical standards these days, clearly isn't ready.

Then I had to consider what would happen if there was a complication due to the interventions. I know that complications can happen with any labor but they are more common with inductions. What if I needed to have a double-whammy? The prospect of recovering from both types of birth with newborn twins was not something I was prepared to face. I regret it now, but back then, I let the fear of loss get to me. Whether it was because I forced them to come too early or because I let them stay in too long, I was taking a risk with their lives. And I wasn't prepared to do that. If they were to be evicted five weeks early I wanted it to be as quick and painless for all of us. I just wanted them here.

So, naturally, like I do with all hugely important decisions in my life, I hastily decided on a scheduled c-section and booked it practically that day. At 10 weeks pregnant I knew I'd become a mother by 3pm on July 30th.

All went according to plan, we had "healthy" 35 weekers who needed only two weeks in the NICU.

This is where the regret comes in.

I didn't get to hold my girls until they were hours old. And even then they were attached to tubes, too fragile to nurse and so small I thought I'd break them. I wasn't relaxed and bonding, the private moments of just me and my family were few and far between. We didn't even do skin-to-skin or hold the babies together until three days later. And then, on top of it all, I went home without them.

Not a day goes by that I don't wonder what would have happened if I had tried. How different it would have gone. Would it have been better or worse?

I wish I hadn't let the fears and what-ifs change all the things that I knew.

I wish I had fought harder to keep them in longer, especially knowing what the general recommendation is for mono-di twins.

I wish I had at least gone into labor, even if it was an induction.

I wish I had felt just one contraction.

I wish I hadn't been strapped down to a table the first time I met my daughters.

I wish I would have trusted myself and my body enough, rather than just giving into the very same modern medicine that I had spent years cultivating a plan to avoid.

I wanted my babies here and safe and this was how it was done. That's the only peace I get from this. And I guess at the end of the day that's what makes me a good mother. From that day back in February 2014 I sacrificed myself for them - to ensure that they crossed this bridge in the safest way possible, even if it went against everything I ever thought was best. They are alive and mine, no matter how they got here.

My one hope is that I can take my knowledge and empower other women, like my best friend and my sister, or other identical twin moms. I want them to know they can be comfortable and confident in their choices and that they are capable of doing this in whatever way they see fit, no matter how terrifying it is and no matter what choices they make.

Sometimes I just really wish I knew what the hell I was talking about.

I'm thinking tonight isn't about making peace after all, since I feel worse now than I did before. I could take solace in the not-so-great reminder that at least I have two healthy babies, but that does little to calm my desire to give birth the way I always wanted to. So for now I just have to push all of that to the furthest part of my mind and enjoy what I have since we are absolutely not having another one any time soon.

Maybe.

Xo,
Maigen

Five Things That Save My Sanity as a Twin Mom

I've been meaning to write some sort of "must-haves" list for the first year of twin parenting since they turned one, (oh ya know, six months ago...) But every time I sit down to write it I realize something: this list looks really familiar. Because it's just like all those other parenting must-have lists. You already know the things you really need to feed, change and play with your kids, you don't need me to tell you again.  So I started thinking outside the box - things that seriously save my sanity but that I've never seen on a list before. So I guess instead of a must-have list it's more of a hey-if-you-thnk-it-might-work-try-it list to help you keep your sanity.

1. A climber/play structure in the playroom (or in our case, the dining room)

I never really planned on having to squeeze by a slide on my way to bed every night but I also didn't plan on having twins who would age into insane toddlers in the middle of winter. Before they were even a year old I knew I'd need something to help them burn that energy and work out their new skills. I looked at a ton of options but ultimately we put the Step 2 Play Ball Fun Climber on our amazon wishlist because it was small but had stairs, a slide, a chill spot above and below and a cool ball drop thingie. My awesome Dad gifted it to them for their birthday and we set it up a few weeks later.  It is a lifesaver.

Because, what is every toddler's favorite thing to do, besides turn your world upside down? Climb, of course! Climb and explore all of the things! So what do we do when they're climbing on the couch/chairs/TV stand/each other? "Hey! Let's go on the climber!"

So far, it works every time. I walk over and they follow me and get to work going up and down over and over, crawling underneath, just hanging out reading a book or kicking their legs off the side, or dropping balls down the tubes. Now they love to push it around and slide down into different parts of the room (or just trap each other in places.) They even mastered climbing up the slide before learning how to walk which was really cool to see. While it won't last long-term on it's own (hello, we definitely need a jungle gym or something like that) I love that it is (relatively) small, considering the 800 sq. ft. apartment we live in so it is a perfect indoor option.

2. My iPod and a $20 cat docking station

I actually almost threw my ipod away a while back. It was glitchy and I hate earbuds and my dock had died so it just sat in a drawer. Then I was registering for the girls and looking into sound machines and couldn't find one I loved so I thought about a CD player but who even buys CDs anymore? I know I don't have any from the last 10 years. So I'd have to burn them... is that a thing even still? And then I remembered old faithful, who was already chock full of lullabies and our amazing irish relaxation music from daycare days. Perfect.

I picked up a cheap speaker at rite aid while they were in the NICU and had it ready to go in our room when they got home. When they were newborns we added some white noise and the womb sounds to it and I swear to you it was a miracle worker.  We moved it from room to room and often had it blasting in the living room just to cover all our bases on wherever babies might fall asleep. I know entirely too much about what it sounded like in my mom's belly now.

I used the cheap speaker for 3 months but it was a PITA since I had to keep charging both of them and it had this awesome trick where the sound would just cut out at the WORST moment and come back on at the highest volume - that was so fun! Then we got this adorable cat one (affiliate but it's out of stock which is sad because you definitely need it) from my Aunt and it's been on 12 hours straight, every night for over 16 months and hasn't failed us yet! It'll die tonight though, because that's my life.

3. Place-mats in the High Chairs

My genius/mild neat-freak of a husband came up with this one. After only two or three real baby-led meals we realized that those freaking high chair covers are a joke. First, they do little to actually contain the food so you end up having to take them off anyway and they're a pain to clean themselves. Who actually has time to wash and dry them between every meal?

While the mess rarely bothered me, it drove CJ insane. We ditched the covers after a few weeks of frustration but then found that the chairs themselves were so full of food that it was even harder to clean. So while we got used to feeding and cleaning two very messy babies, we now had the added fun of full-blown dumping and wiping down two high chairs after every meal. No way, man, there had to be a better way.

Macaroni, beans and peas got nothin' on us!

Then CJ found a crap ton of these cloth placemats that I bought at yard sales or that were "passed down" to us that we have actually never used. Life changing, I kid you not. We tuck them in between the two parts of our spacesaver high chair (where the booster seat part is) so they don't move and they catch everything! After meals they are easy to remove and clean, we just empty them over the garbage and toss them in the wash. The chairs themselves rarely need cleaning more than wipe down and the covers are still pristine since we never use them. We store the mats in the kitchen and put a new one down every morning or whenever they get really messy (hello, pasta night!) Amazing!

4. The XBox/Amazon FireStick/Roku/Whatever else you have!

We cut the cable cord years ago and relied on our Xbox for any shows via hulu or netflix. While we don't usually watch a ton of TV, I would not have survived the last year without the Xbox. It is so much more than just TV (although the $7.99/month hulu subscription also helps so I can keep up my Grey's Anatomy and General Hospital habits.) We recently picked up the Amazon Fire Stick and it's even better than the Xbox - no more lagging or buffering and we don't have to keep that thing running when we just want to have music on.

 During the day I use it for music with Pandora or iHeartRadio and unlike using my phone (even with a speaker) the sound can be heard all over the house without being deafening. Netflix has these amazing moving art films with gorgeous scenery and music that they just love (many thanks to Stephanie over at Double Crunch for making that suggestion months ago in our twin due date group!)

Recently, I've started playing Pentatonix and Janet Lansbury videos on YouTube and the girls are obsessed. We have dance parties and they ask for White Winter Hymnal by patting their chests and I'll put some Janet on while changing their diapers (one of our biggest battlegrounds) and instead of fighting or running away they chill right out, watching the babies play and listening to her incredibly soothing voice. And I get a refresher on respectful parenting during one of our most stressful times.

I could be so wrong but I feel like I'm helping them develop a positive relationship with the TV itself, since they don't associate it with just watching a show and tuning out. Sometimes it's on all day long but it's not just noise and lights to distract them, it's music to play by or interesting images to look at, things that are meaningful and thoughtful, at least I hope they are on some level.

I'm just so glad there is so much more out there than just Disney Channel or Nickelodeon and that we get to access it like this. Plus, the internet has everything so we got to learn all about David Bowie and Professor Snape in honor of their passing a few weeks ago. Win win for everyone!

 

5. The Mega Crib

Ok, sorry for the super twin specific last one but it's gotta be one of my favorites of all time. The Mega Crib is amazing! And all you need are two cribs and some zip ties.

Going way back, my girls never slept together. Well, ok, that's not really true, a few times I put them in the same crib for a nap but they always woke up too early. Oh and for 4 months we all shared a bed for half the night, but they were on either side of me so that doesn't really count. They always had separate everything and their cribs (that are solid, not slats, on the ends) were kiddie-corner so they couldn't even really see each other when they were in their room.

When they were about 11 months old I was watching on the camera one night and I realized they were looking for and reaching through the slats trying to reach each other. It broke my heart and we put them side-by-side the next day. Then a few months later they started holding hands through the slats, or stealing each others books or blankets. And then they started pulling hair or hitting to wake the other one up. We took a risk but decided to tear down that wall - and they sleep so freaking well.



They play and chit-chat until they fall asleep, roll all over each other while getting comfortable and then fall asleep, only sometimes snuggling, but almost always touching. When they wake up in the middle of the night they will cry out but sometimes before I can even consider going in they roll over and find their sister and fall back asleep. Best. thing. ever.

Oh and bonus number 6, one that is truly specific to our family: My trusty tote bin from Wal-Mart that I am so grateful to have simply for the ability to bathe my kids semi-easily in my bathtub-less house. Definitely not a must-have for everyone but it is for us!

All of my lists have had some super random items and have definitely been unique to me but I like to think I'm helping at least one parent save their sanity. So please let me know if any of these have ever worked for you!

Xo,
Maigen