May 21, 2014

25 weeks and so much toilet paper. My list of things no one tells you about pregnancy!

Happy 25 Weeks! I am enjoying my first week off of work. Perhaps a little too much since I'm blogging in my jammies at 2 in the afternoon. But I'm exhausted and deserve a little down time. So, I'm going to start my list of things that no one ever tells you about pregnancy. There are a million of them out there already and yet still I learn something new all the time.  Today my big revelation was thanks to toilet paper. So here we go. My list of things no one tells you about pregnancy:

1) Buy stock in toilet paper - I seriously had no idea how much money I would spend on it over the course of my 8 month pregnancy and it's been a shock. I now know I can only buy Scott 1000 (everyone's favorite, right?) simply because it's cheap and it lasts longer than one day. Being home all day I'm going through way too much for anything else! (This may not be the case for everyone though, I have two babies in me and might have Gestational Diabetes).

2) Brace yourself for bladder kicks and stomps - I know this is common and if you ask a mom she will tell you about it but I don't think there is a way to actually prepare a woman for this feeling. I will never forget the first time I got a swift kick in a half-full bladder and had to high-tail it to the bathroom only to barely go at all. Or the middle of the night repositioning (see #3) that wakes you up actually in pain because you have to pee so bad. Totally surreal and annoying at the same time.

3) Speaking of kicks, they aren't all you feel! There are real movements too (or as I call them: Baby Yoga seshes) - Kicks, kicks, kicks. All anyone ever talks about is kicks. I feel kicks. Right now at 25 weeks I feel them every 2-3 hours, all over or concentrated on one side. But I also feel something else that no one warned me about. I get hard little butts and heads poking right out of my belly while the girls rotate positions. And they hurt! Much like the night of my first L&D visit, it feels like my uterus is contracting when really it's just Baby A sticking her butt out as far as she can while she flips over. Or Baby B trying to wedge her head under my ribcage. Ouch!

4) You will leak - I won't go in to too much detail about this but just know that some women leak. A lot. Sometimes a little extra after you pee, sometimes as discharge, sometimes for no reason at all you will just be a little damp down there. It's obnoxious and can cause issues with comfort and feeling clean. Again, buy stock in liners and stock up on inexpensive cotton undies. Also, don't freak out unless it's a lot of fluid. If you think it's more than normal, call your Dr.

5) You might get stretch marks on that old piercing hole - My mom was awesome and hated seeing me depressed one summer after a bad breakup so she brought me to get my belly button pierced for my 16th birthday present. We picked a tasteful and cute stone and I loved it for years and years. I finally took it out in my mid twenties and let it close up. Now, I have exactly one stretch mark at 25 weeks and of course it's right over my old piercing hole. It's been pulled and distorted so much that you can hardly see the hole but the tell-tale brown stretch marks are definitely there. Damn my ex who broke my heart that summer (and who always told me how much he belly button piercings).

To be continued...


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